January 26, 2009

Bush Executive Order Overturned Ninth Commandment

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 4:19 pm

[Do you recognize sarcasim when you see it?]

A review of George W. Bush’s Presidential Executive Orders has found that the Ninth Commandment has been overturned and it is now OK to tell lies.

Good Christina youths, who have always been subject to parental manipulation via the religious directive to always tell the truth as a matter of honor, followed by some very personal question about chastity and pot use, can now emulate the Commander-in-Chief and tell as many lies as it takes to get off the hook.

Lies make life so much easier.

If you want to start a war, just say that some country has terrible atomic weapons and are just about to use them and that you have no choice but to counter-attack under the principles of self-defense.

Need to do you buddies a big favor? Just say that a bail out of the banks is essential to save the economy.

Need to bust the unions? Just say that the unions’ selfish attitude will prolong the New Depression.

Need to avoid prosecution for torturing prisoners of war? Just say that you saved American live with the information you received via “extreme” questioning.

Need to cover it up when torture has become endemic? Just blame it on a few enlisted people.

Need to win an election? Just say that paperless voting machines are scrupulously accurate.

Need to show the world that you are not a subservient Bush family media whore? Just endorse Jeb without any reference to Broward Savings and Loan.

Need . . . ? Just tell women that you aren’t married.

Need a sales bonus? Just tell gullible folks that variable rate mortgages are a good idea.

If your children become unmanageable because they lie all the time, tell them that the story about an executive order overturning the Ninth commandment is a fallacious urban legend.

Winston Churchill once said: “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.” So if you wanna go far; you know whatcha gotta do.

Now, the disk jockey is going to play George Jones’ “God’s Gonna Get You for That.” It’s time to take a flight on a magic carpet. Have an “Are you going to believe me or your eyes?” type week.

Wait! The disk jockey is making a last minute change and is sending this one out just for George W. Bush:

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