July 2, 2011
June 3, 2011
March 2, 2011
February 22, 2011
February 19, 2011
February 13, 2011
February 8, 2011
February 6, 2011
January 24, 2011
November 2, 2010
October 31, 2010
October 30, 2010
October 28, 2010
Some Random Teabagger Jokes
What do you call a Teabagger surrounded by a cheering crowd of drooling idiots?
The nominee.
What do you call an ignorant Teabagger with an I.Q. of 50?
A potential Republican candidate.
What’s the difference between an angry Teabagger and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What is the difference between a smart Teabagger and the Loch Ness Monster?
Some people claim to have actually seen the Loch Ness Monster.
Why do so many Teabaggers drive a Ford?
Because ‘Chevy’ is too difficult to spell correctly.
What do you call a burly 200-lbs. male Teabagger who stomps on the head of a 115-lbs. woman for carrying a sign he didn’t like, giving her a concussion?
A valuable campaign worker.
What do Teabaggers call an elitist?
Someone with a sixth-grade education.
Did you hear about the Teabagger couple who froze to death at the drive-in?
They went to see “Closed for the Winter.”
What do you call a Teabagger with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.
Where can you find a Teabagger hypocrite?
Throw a dart blindfolded at a Tea Party Rally.
What was the Teabagger psychic’s greatest achievement?
Reading the tea leaves forwards, for once.
What did the Teabagger say to the doctor when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”
How do Teabagger brain cells die?
Despised and alone.
What do you get when you offer a Teabagger a penny for his thoughts?
Change too stupid to believe in.
Did you hear about the lesbian Teabagger?
She kept trying to have affairs with gay men.
How do you confuse a Teabagger?
It’s impossible — they’re already born that way.
Where does a retired Teabagger go for medical treatment?
To the doctor, who is paid by Medicare, a government program initiated by liberal Democrats, that the damn socialist liberals better keep their hands off of until a GOP Teabagger candidate can get elected to abolish it!
Where does a retired Teabagger go for medical treatment after the GOP has abolished Medicare?
No Teabagger ever thinks that far ahead.
What do you say to a hate-big-government Teabagger who lives on Social Security?
The same thing his relatives say: “You’re crazy.”
October 19, 2010
October 17, 2010
What if Teabagger and Nazi Re-Enactor Rich Iott Was a Democrat?
Note: GOP Rep. Eric Cantor has publicly repudiated Iott, as has part of the MSM, but that’s about it.
October 16, 2010
The Tattlesnake – More Toast and Coast Edition
Because once was not enough…
Given their deep concern over budget deficits, someone in the Noose Media should ask one of these Tea Party candidates if they are willing, once in office, to save the taxpayers a little money by taking no more than $50K per year in salary, buy their health insurance the same way the average prole does, and forgo their housing allowance, generous government pension, and other perks for Congress members. Oh, right, they can’t ask them that because they run in terror from all but the ‘GOP friendly’ media.
With rumors circulating that the GOP Money Machine has quietly given up on Christine O’Donnell after her pathetic “do I need to know that?” debate performance; Sharron Angle’s bizarre Valley-of-the-Dolls, all-you-need-is-the-free-market mutual press conference with Harry Reid (where has Sharron been the past 30 years?), and Carl Paladino’s further fattening of his job resume for a gig with The Onion News Service, it’s become clear how weak the Republican Party really is these days. They are being led around by vacuous political shock-jocks like Limbaugh and Beck; their Teabagger candidates are ignorant, barely-coherent dingbats pushing stink-bomb Gilded Age economic cure-alls; and the only things keeping the sinking GOP dinghy afloat is Fox News, their dutiful handmaidens in the Big Media, and piles of undisclosed corporate cash for negative ads. If not for the aforementioned, the Know-Nothing Party would be curled up in a ball in the corner, mewling for mercy. They have no constituency except that 20 percent of the country that is uninstitutionalized wingnut – and that’s not enough to get anyone elected. Americans may be angry with the Democrats, but that doesn’t mean they want to move in with a family of moon-howling morons.
Consider that a month ago, every MSM pundit with an AFTRA card was assuring us plebes of Big Wins for the GOP in such states as Nevada, Delaware and Alaska, based on the polls and past off-year electoral history. Now, not so much — toss-ups everywhere as the Dems have come even in polls and, in the case of DE, shot up about 20 points ahead.
With that said, the Tattler again consults his Toast and Coast flash cards on some of the prominent races of Pax Americana:
Toast: Joe Miller, GOP candidate for US Senate from Alaska.
Tea Party Joe’s enthusiastic endorsement by multi-millionaire Sarah Palin probably didn’t help him much with Alaskans – she’s not well-liked in the Great White North anymore. On top of that, the hits just keep coming that he has a bundle of regressive views on Social Security, Medicare and unemployment insurance, which basically amount to telling the serfs to “suck it” while doling out tax cuts for the well-heeled heels. Not good. Then there are the recent embarrassing revelations that his wife collected evil unemployment benefits, his refusal to answer questions about his past hypocrisies, and a write-in challenge from Preferred Establishment Republican and sitting senator Lisa Murkowski, and you have Joe melting faster than a Bering Sea glacier in an Al Gore film.
Coast: It may be a squeaker but Sitka Mayor Scott McAdams, who has risen to within six points of Miller, will pull out this upset victory in what once was a Deep Red State.
Toast: Mark Kirk, GOP candidate for US Senate from Illinois.
Just because I can’t resist the rhyme, let me say Kirk is a jerk, but it’s true. Aside from inflating his US Navy service beyond recognition, he’s had a whole FUBAR political career as a Congressman. He’s not a Teabagger, he’s a spoiled little pain-in-the-ass from a suburban district of Chicago who apparently has never taken the time to understand what the big metropolitan neighbors his constituents depend on need and then wonders why things aren’t working better. He’s also not great at discerning what’s important to downstate farmers and blue-collar workers with whom he feels no affinity or compassion. He’s a vacant tax-cut-crazy political dilettante who votes as instructed by the GOP Elite. It’ll be a relief to wave ‘bon voyage’ to this political parasite. His Dem opponent is no prize, but it’s hard to imagine how he could be worse than Kirk.
Coast: Alexi Giannoulias, but only by a couple of points.
Toast: Michael Bennet, Democratic Senator from Colorado.
Sorry to say, but Bennet has run a soft, inchoate campaign against Tea Party goofball Ken Buck, and it’s showing. Meanwhile, Republican Ken has been Strong and Wrong, which sells well in the Rocky Mountain State, and even told the Birthers to stop asking him stupid questions in public, all of which resembles manliness to those deprived of oxygen in high altitudes. Colorado is a mixed bag with progressive enclaves such as Denver, Aspen and Telluride, but then there’s uber-Christopublican Colorado Springs and the Pine-Tree Yahoos and Desk-Set Mountain Men and SUV Cowboys who inhabit the rest of the place. They’re all for Buck and Bennet just doesn’t have the testicular appeal to overcome it.
Coast: Ken Buck, by a thread-narrow margin.
Toast: Linda McMahon, GOP candidate for US Senate from Connecticut.
Linda is, for lack of a better term, a knuckle-dragging dimwit who hilariously thinks she’s worked in the ‘real world’ because she ran a pro wrestling organization. She’s as phony as a Ric Flair knee-drop. Joe Lieberman notwithstanding, CT’s a Blue State and AG Richard Blumenthal is still popular despite artificially-enhancing his Marine Corps war record.
Coast: Blumenthal in a walk.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
The Tattlesnake – Top Ten Neocon Republican Hits Edition
These top ten lists get tedious, and this one’s no different.
1. “This Land Ain’t Your Land, This Land Is MY Land”
Scotty and the Koch Brothers
2. “America The Profitable”
Moe Greenback and the Wall Streeters
3. “Take Your Job And Shove It”
The U.S. Chamber of Commerce
4. “Dead Man’s Curve”
Chris Christie and the Budget Cutters
5. “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling”
The Palin Family Choir
6. “Viva Low Wages!”
Wal Mart and the New Peasants
7. “It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To”
Long John Boehner and the Wailers
8. “Liar, Liar (Pants On Fire)”
Mike Huckabee and the Birthers
9. “He Got The Gold Mine And I Got the Shaft”
Glenn Beck’s Suckers
10. “(Here It Comes Your) 19th Nervous Breakdown”
Michele Bachmann and her Teabaggers
©2011 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.