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November 25, 2008

The Tattlesnake — You Might Be a Neocon If… 2008 Update Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:04 am

With a hat tip to Jeff Foxworthy, it’s time to play:

You Might Be a Neocon If…

… you believe any of the following: Barack Obama is (a) a socialist; (b) a Muslim; (c) the illegitimate son of Malcolm X; (d) the illegitimate son of Uncle Ben.

… you think Obama was a domestic terrorist who helped Bill Ayers plant bombs in the Pentagon; that he doesn’t have a legal birth certificate proving he’s an American citizen; and that his middle name indicates anything more than sheer coincidence.

… You believe President Obama’s first act will be to make the ‘nation’ of Africa our 51st state and send every resident a free Cadillac.

… you heard Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961 and don’t think it was a state then, thereby making it illegal for him to be president, but are too lazy to look it up before you forward the email.

… you believe Sarah Palin is really intelligent and informed and that the reason most of America thinks otherwise is due to the liberal media and their evil ‘gotcha’ questions.

… you think an unwed teenage girl’s pregnancy is a sign of the moral failings of permissive secular parents and liberalism in general, except for 17-year-old Bristol Palin.

… you believe Sarah Palin is (a) a real feminist; (b) a true populist; (c) a ‘good ole gal just like me!’; (d) winking at you seductively through the TV.

… you think it was fine for the Big Media to criticize every detail of Hillary Clinton’s campaign and excoriate her for her laugh, her clothes, her personal taste, or minor mistakes, yet Katie Couric asking Sarah Palin to name what newspapers and magazines she reads ‘every day’ is an outrageous and out of bounds ‘gotcha’ question.

… you thought John Kerry’s record of military heroism didn’t entitle him to be president, but John McCain’s did.

… you believe that, despite everything, this remains a ‘center-right’ nation.

… you think any of the following windbags are still politically relevant: (a) Rush Limbaugh; (b) Bill O’Reilly; (c) Sean Hannity; (d) Michael Savage; (e) Glenn Beck; (f) John McCain’s brother Joe.

… you actually believe that Big Media corporations are owned by flaming liberals, except Fox News.

… you think Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch is ‘too liberal’ because he once held a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton and employs Alan Colmes.

… you believe any of the following are real-live conservative intellectuals: (a) Bill Kristol; (b) Pat Buchanan; (c) Dinesh D’Souza; (d) Joe the Plumber.

… you think prayer in school is more important than a good education in school.

… you believe that courts should not ‘make law’ but go by a strict interpretation of the Constitution, except in the case of Bush v. Gore, Terry Schiavo, and keeping those designated as ‘terrorists’ by the president in prison without due process.

… you think Swift Boater Jerome Corsi is a great investigative journalist.

… you think Michael Moore is a communist dedicated to overthrowing the country’s health care system and forcing you to go to a government doctor for free.

… you’ve never read anything by Karl Marx other than a quote or two, yet consider yourself an expert on what is Marxist.

… you believe liberals and/or Democrats are all (a) atheists (b) liars (c) commies (d) America-haters (e) arugula eaters (f) always sitting around trying to think up ways to take away your guns.

… you think anyone who disagrees with you is unpatriotic, even if it’s an old woman in a wheelchair yelling at you for parking in the Handicapped space.

… you think Handicapped parking spaces are liberal commie plots to take away our freedoms.

… you believe wearing a flag pin is more important than living up to the Constitutional law of the land.

(more…)

November 15, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Miller Shills for the Wasilla Chinchilla on Billo and Other Atrocities Edition

Plus a Weird Election 2008 Factoid and a Plea to the GOP

“In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.”
– H.L. Mencken

Gov. Snowjob said on Larry King Nov. 12th that there is nothing wrong with “calling people out” on their past associations, defending her lame McCarthyite attempts to link Obama to Bill Ayers and the Weather Underground. She added that she expected she would be called out on hers as well. Good. Let’s see, she’s openly palled around with and supported for reelection convicted felon Sen. Ted Stevens, corrupt ex-Governor of Alaska Frank Murkowski, and she’s married to a former member of the Alaska Independence Party, a group that despises and wants to secede from the United States. Imagine if Obama had strongly supported two crooks and his wife once belonged to an organization that hated America? C’mon, Big Media, time to apply some fairness here, and Sarah asked for it.

Speaking of Sarah the Terror: Miller and Palin, Sittin’ in a Tree:

“Listen, she’s a great dame. People are fascinated by her because the left hate her. I think the left hate her — mostly women on the left hate her, because to me, from outside in, it appears that she has a great sex life. All right? I think she has non-neurotic sex with that Todd Palin guy. I think most of the women on the Upper East Side, their husbands haven’t been aroused since Mailer signed copy [sic] of The Executioner’s Song at Rizzoli’s back in the early ’70s.
“So they look at her, and they hate her. I think that snowmobile looks like mechanized foreplay to me, and that’s why people are fascinated by it.”

Dennis Miller on “The O’Reilly Factor,” Fox News, Nov. 12, 2008.

I remember when Dennis had a functioning frontal lobe and was even occasionally clever, but years of drinking, drugs, chickenhawk fear, raging ego and his wiseguy notion that he’d just jump on the money train of what he thought would be generations of Republican rule softened his gray matter to the point where he’s defending a vacuous Alaska opportunist he once would have gleefully impaled with humor. BTW, I wonder what ‘non-neurotic sex’ is — the Moose Mama ‘Missionary Position’ (that would be a ‘rear mount’) or the opposite of whatever you call it when Miller picks up his paycheck these days?

My sympathies to the frustrated Mrs. Miller, if she’s still around – married to a goofball who thinks snowmobiles equate with foreplay can’t be a pleasant existence.

It’s was so bad even Billo took note of what had surfaced in his ‘No Spin Zone’ punchbowl:

(more…)

April 4, 2008

Bob Barr Plans to Run for President as a Libertarian

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , — Volt @ 9:45 am

Liberty Maven, April 4, 2008

Bob Barr is reportedly ready to announce his candidacy for the Libertarian Party Presidential nomination Saturday during his speech at the Heartland Libertarian Conference in Kansas City. This has been rumored for quite a long time, and now seems like a certainty.

Bob Barr was a guest on Sean Hannity’s radio program yesterday and was accused by Hannity of handing the White House to the Democratic nominee. Barr had nothing of that saying, “If McCain is not able to pull enough votes to win outright, then shame on him” and he is “tired of hearing all the whining”.

Barr will pull in a sizable portion of the almost 1 million Ron Paul supporters. He will pull votes from the Democrat because of his civil liberties advocacy. He will pull votes from John McCain because of his conservative roots. If he were to get the Libertarian nomination, he could conceivably get more votes than any Libertarian candidate in history.

The idea that his candidacy will lead to the Democrat winning the White House; I’m not buying it. There seems to be only one publication willing to agree with me. Everyone else sees it as a foregone conclusion that a Barr run equates to a Democratic win. I suppose we’ll find out if there is a chance of this on Saturday following Barr’s speech.

Read More Here

March 7, 2008

The Great Texas Dildo Wars of 2008

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , , , — Volt @ 11:31 am

Amanda Marcotte, Pandagon, March 7, 2008

Editor’s Note: Visit the URL below to see a classic video essay on the current legal aspects of dildo possession and sale in the state of Texas.

Well, I celebrated too soon the new-found legality of female masturbation in Texas. One should never underestimate the lengths to which wingnuts will go to control female sexuality. The Texas attorney general Greg Abbott, who apparently has nothing better to do than to separate women from their dildos, has asked the 5th Circuit Court to rehear the sex toy case.

I’m trying to imagine the mindset of a man who doesn’t realize that when you try to take dildos away from women, basically everyone with a brain and/or a sense of humor is going to assume it’s because you’re afraid you can’t handle the competition.

But I am routinely reminded that we face opposition to sexual liberation, the most prominent face of which is the anti-abortion movement that protests clinics and waves bloody fetus signs from street corners. That movement is made up of people who claim to be in it not because they are misogynists who fear female sexuality, nor because they are control freaks who can’t stand the idea of someone else having fun. They are in it, they say, because they want to save the unborn babies.

Take, for example, their opposition to making emergency contraception available over the counter. For most of us, this one was a no-brainer: Better contraception access means fewer unintended pregnancies, which translates into fewer abortions. Over-the-counter emergency contraception, then, means the abortion rate goes down — and since fewer abortions means more “babies saved” in anti-choice-speak, “pro-life” people should embrace it, right?

Read More Here

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