September 8, 2011

The GOP Debate or, the Injustice League of America Has a Press Conference


Random Notes on the Sept. 7, 2011 Republican Debate
(Candidates listed in order of polling popularity)

First off, the questioning was pathetic. Here they are huffing and puffing that big government spending is the biggest problem with the economy, then they start babbling about building a two-thousand-mile electronic fence across our border with Mexico and hiring thousands of new officers to police it. The ‘journalists’ on the debate panel never asked how they planned to pay for all of this, especially since some, like Rick Perry, want a ‘balanced budget’ amendment in the Constitution. Okay, Rick, how do you spend the tens of billions to ‘secure’ our border (it will do no such thing, of course), and still balance the budget? Also a few of the GOP Fabricasters greased up that old Republican chant that the government doesn’t create jobs. Aside from the one these candidates are running for, or the one they already occupy, this is obvious bull pucky and I wish one of the ‘reporters’ on the panel — NBC’s Brian Williams fancies himself one I hear — would have asked them what in hell they think all of those American civilians building M-1 Abrams tanks, smart bombs, cruise missiles, predator drones, F/A-18 attack jets, and Nimitz-class aircraft carriers are doing? They all, ultimately, get their paychecks from the government, i.e.: the taxpayers. That said, here’s a brief rundown of how the Clod Squad did:

— Rick Perry: For a supposed ‘Master Debater’ he didn’t live up to his reputation. Hint to Rick: Never give your opponent an opening with a snarky line about his record as governor when you have bigger skeletons hanging in your own closet. Not that this matters to the moon howlers in the Perry camp, though — they’ll refuse to hear it, just as they filter out anything that doesn’t fit their goofy worldview.

— Mitt Romney: Better than expected. His quick, sharp comeback to Perry’s snipe about falling job rates in Massachusetts under Romney’s reign was his best moment, but it’s not going to do him any good with the loony Teabaggers; Romney will merely lose ground less quickly now, barring a sex scandal or major foul-up by Perry.

— Michele Bachmann: Fading into insignificance before our very eyes. Her ad lib about kids needing a job should warrant some kind of investigation into what she did with all of those foster children she likes to brag about raising. What — was she running some kind of Dickensian sweatshop on Daddy’s farm for a little extra cash? “Goddamn it, hurry up and finish those sweaters and then you can have some cold gruel; Kathy Lee’s people are picking them up this afternoon!” I’m just sayin’ I wouldn’t put it past her.

— Ron Paul: Sure, he’s got some good ideas — ending our dumb wars, stopping illegal spying on Americans, and legalizing drugs for adults — but it comes wrapped in a lot of raging anti-government Ayn Randian stupid. I know papa Ron wouldn’t see it this way, but government work is preventing his country-club drunk son from practicing his ‘love’ on his patients, so that’s one thing the gov’t is good for, as well as keeping the elder Paul off the streets and well-fed.

— Newt Blingrich: Did I type ‘Blingrich’? Guess so — that’s my new name for this Tiffany fake who keeps reappearing every presidential election cycle like a bout of stomach flu. His funniest line last night was his insistence that kids should learn American history — that’s priceless coming from the Newt-wit who keeps revising it to fit his ideology and bank account. ‘Blingy’ should be gone by Halloween — there’s not much money flowing into his coffers these days and his campaign staff now consists of two guys he met selling DVD players out of the trunk of a car I’m told. I meant the two guys were selling the DVD players, not Newt, but I can readily understand any confusion.


September 6, 2011

The Republican Vote-Bots of 2012


February 19, 2011

“This isn’t fair!”

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 1:26 pm

Getting a job in New York City in the mid Sixties presented a young man with a smorgasbord of delights and temptations. We were aghast to learn that a bottle of beer was three times more expensive there than in Scranton Pa. We encountered on enterprising fellow who had set up a gambling casino on top of a portable table. He was soliciting bets that you couldn’t keep up with the movement of the cards he was moving about. The Ace of Spades had a bent corner and it was child’s play to see where it had ended its wanderings. He wanted folks to bet on their powers of observation and he singled me out of the crowd for a personal challenge. Not wanting to take unfair advantage of the fellow, we offered to teach him a lesson for the symbolic wager of $1. He belittled us mercilessly and said we lacked the chutzpah (whatever that was) to make a substantial bet. Some other fellow in the crowd had the cajones to bet a double sawbuck. The tip-off flaw somehow failed to provide the intrepid soul with a windfall profit and the operator of the table top gambling casino reaped the rewards of his labor via some slight-of-hand magic.

When the fabled decade ended, we were living at Lake Tahoe and the greatest dog who ever lived (Baron Siegfried L. von Richthofen III [a sweetie when sober]) was a roommate. There were ample opportunities to play games of chance that were more closely regulated than the rouge operations we had seen in New York City, but as the Sixties came to a close, our efforts to duplicate the cynical W. C. Fields philosophy of life had taken firm root and we limited our gambling experiments to an annual loss of $35 and considered that an entertainment expense.

One time we walked into the office of a Public Relations official for one of the local casinos carrying the props for a photo which would illustrate a story about a local charity event. Since one of the props was a genuine shotgun, the PR official asked: “How did you get past security?” We told her “we just walked past.”

The other human roommate and I hosted weekly poker games. New decade; new vices?
There were some brief scurrilous rumors that Siegfried would eyeball the other fellows hands and then silently say what they were holding so that we could gain, via lip reading, an unfair advantage over our guests. It was one of the wildest conspiracy theories we have ever heard.

We were unaware of the FM revolution occurring in radio and since South Lake Tahoe is surrounded by a ring of mountains, the reception of AM stations was extremely limited. There were two stations in the basin and we could on good nights pick up clear signal KFI from Los Angeles and some station in Texas with a wild disk jockey with a distinctive voice who touted himself with the phrase “coast to coast, border to border, wall to wall and tree-top tall.” “They say” you could hear him in 38 states.

Times have changed. Things are different. Back then folks protested the Vietnam War. We understand that there will be a new protest for the latest war in Washington on March 19th this year. Is there a new war to protest or is it a display of sentimental nostalgia for the “usual suspects”? We presume that the artists will include Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, and . . . perhaps the Kinks?

Some folks, who seem to be as naive and trusting as the aforementioned “rube” in “swinging” New York City was, think that only conspiracy theory nuts (Hi, mom!) distrust the results of the paperless electronic voting machines.

This columnist realizes that his efforts to emulate the jaded cynical paranoid attitude of the hero/victim in Hemingway’s “The Killers” is a tad maudlin, but the fact that the crimp in the corner of the card still bothers us.

If hustlers believe that only big stakes make displaying their talents worth the effort, then couldn’t one political party play with reckless abandon if they were playing with a marked deck? The marked decks in magician supply stores are sold for entertainment purposes only – but some Svengali types find it very entertaining to “separate the suckers from their money.” Don’t look now, but aren’t the efforts of the capitalists very similar to the mad scramble images conjured up by the phrase “Great Oklahoma land rush”?

If (subjunctive mood) one Party wanted to cheat, wouldn’t they try to lure the suckers (“a measly dollar?”) into playing for major bucks? Why go to all that effort just to win $10? If the stacked/mark deck guarantees a sure win, why not put abortion, collective bargaining, and tax breaks on the line?

We didn’t intend writing a new column today. Rather than get up at 6 a.m. we slept in until 7. We took some snapshots of the snow in the higher elevations of Berkeley CA. We put some old music on the sound machine and . . . well, what else is there to do on a cold and wet morning in a city where the local University will soon start their baseball team’s last season. Budget cuts make sports fans unhappy, but just think how happy the billionaires are this morning.

“They say” things will get tougher before they get better. To which optimists and preachers of self-reliance only say: “You can bet on that!”

Nelson Algren is credited with being the original source for this bit of folk wisdom:
“Never play cards with any man named ‘Doc.’ Never eat at any place called ‘Mom’s.” And never, never, no matter what else you do in your whole life, never sleep with anyone whose troubles are worse than your own.”

Now the disk jockey will play Jerry Lee Lewis’s “Thirty-nine and holding,” “I wish I was 18 again,” and “Who is going to play this old piano?” We have to go see if we can score a pres pass to the Rolling Stones Concert (“what would you pay to hear a living legend sing?). Have an “abracadabra!” type week.

August 26, 2010

It can’t happen here . . . or can it?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:58 pm

When we were presented with the opportunity to buy a copy of Ian Patterson’s (no relation) book, “Guernica and Total War,” we were curious about the topic and tantalized our self with the possibility that the book might spark an idea for a column. We snapped it up and started to read it in the hopes that we could finally figure out who was who in that conflict and which side was “the good guys.”

A short time later, we stumbled on a copy of Caroline Moorehead’s biography of Martha Gellhorn and since we were unaware of that resource for Hemingway fans, we quickly added it to our library and ripped into it as fast as we could.

We sensed that the Spanish Civil War could provide us with the basis for a comparison with the contemporary American political turmoil, but we still couldn’t find the handle. Many moons ago, we read George Orwell’s “Homage to Calalonia.” We trundled off to the main branch of the Berkeley Public Library and from the assortment of books on the topic, selected Daniel S. Davis’ “Spain’s Civil War: The Last Great Cause” and commenced reading that book.

The task of comprehending the turmoil is rather complicated. A coup by rebels in the Army was resisted by the legitimate government. It was the Republicans vs. the Nationalists. That causes a bit of difficulty for readers in modern America because in the USA, the Republicans have copyrighted Patriotism thus making their Party’s name synonymous with the concept of national pride. Thus the good guys can’t be both Nationalists and Republicans in a comparison with the Spanish Civil War. In the Spanish Civil War, the Fascists fought the Republicans; in the USA, the fascists are the Republicans.

The rebel faction requested aid from Germany and Italy but Germany and Italy had both agreed to abide by an international agreement to remain neutral. That agreement was just another pesky scrap of paper like the Geneva Accord and so they complied with the appeals for help. Hitler sent “volunteers,” including a group of aviators called the Condor Legion, supplies and weapons. Mussolini sent men, tanks and trucks.

Various countries sent groups of volunteers to the Nationalist side. The American volunteers chose the name “the Lincoln Brigade.”

Daniel S. Davis, on page 92 of “Spain’s Civil War,” wrote about a battle where Mussolini’s Italian legions were fighting Italians in the “Garibaldi Battallion.” Davis describes the effect produced by loudspeakers used by the Garibaldi Battallion: “Demoralized by the barrage of emotional appeals not to fight their countrymen, knots of Italian soldiers melted across the Republican lines.” (How soon will Fox News be able to provoke Americans into bloody confrontations with other Americans?)

We were struggling with the challenge of finding a way to apply the analogy with the Post Dubya American scene. Could the Carlists (who wanted Spain’s royal family to resume their role as the country’s sovereign and legitimate rulers) be compared to the Bush family as they anxiously await the restoration of the Bush dynasty via a Jeb win in 2012?

The Germans and the Italians broke the International agreements to stay out of the Spanish Civil War. Great Britain and France did not. France closed its border with Spain and caused some fleeing peasants untold grief. Stalin committed Russia to a limited amount of help which also broke the aforementioned International Agreement to back off.

Davis states that the Germans, the Italian, and the Russians all interfered but notes that for selfish reasons none of them sent a massive amount of help which would bring a quick resolution to the conflict. It seems that the Spanish Civil War provided an excellent testing ground for all three countries to measure the effectiveness of their new weapons and tactics and a prolonged test run was much more preferable than a limited tryout period.

We were just about to scrap the analogy column when “the Rosetta stone” inspiration appeared (like the Lady of Fatima?). Rebels got an amount of help from the Germans and the Italians that was limited but ultimately sufficient enough to tip the balance in favor of the rebel troops under the command of Francisco Franco. Fasten your seatbelts, boys, here it comes: could the electronic voting machines give America’s Republicans the extra bit of slightly unfair advantage similar to the help that the Condor Legion gave to the rebel troops?

Think about it. With just a slight push in some carefully chosen election contests, the electronic voting machines could deliver an undetectable edge and thus provide the Republicans with a few choice swing victories in enough contests to deliver a “veto-proof” majority in the House. Maybe even the Senate.

The fools in the lapdog press are following the Fox News’ lead and are already crippling the possibility of an intransient public’s refusal to accept the results as genuine with a constant stream of stories subtly suggesting that American citizens should expect a Republican takeover of the House. The stories carefully include words like “possible,” “likely,” and “expected” and are appearing in a stream of increasing frequency. What part of “you’re being set-up,” do American voters not understand?

If Fox News pushes religious intolerance what’s to stop them from including propaganda that will dissolve all skepticism about phony election results? Religious intolerance is an integral part of the Nazi philosophy. Does anyone want to seriously deny that assertion?

Does anyone seriously think that an unscrupulous news organization would promote religious bigotry and then balk at endorsing rigged elections?

Haven’t some Republicans already hinted that Obama should be impeached? If the Republicans get a majority in the House of Representatives what’s to stop them from immediately starting impeachment proceedings? Did someone in the back row seriously suggest that good sportsmanship will stop them? Get ******* serious. Ask Bill Clinton how many nanoseconds it will take for the Impeachment movement to get going.

When Guernica got bombed, it was obvious to most of the Americans journalists who were covering the carnage, that the deck was stacked in favor of the Rebels and fascism. That indicated to an assortment of American Journalists that Hitler would not be intimidated by the British and French into abandoning his plans for further aggressions. The amount of reading material for folks who wish to fact check the pre-war premonitions and warnings that ran through the community of American foreign news correspondents like a virus is contained in a considerable amount of books. Even Ernie Pyle covered the Battle of Britain. The journalists saw what was coming and tried to warn the American public.

In the November of 1935 issue of Esquire magazine Hemingway warned (By-Line Ernest Hemingway Scribners paperback page 212): “Europe has always fought, the intervals of peace are only armistices. We were fools to be sucked in once on a European war and we should never be sucked in again.”

Wouldn’t it be incredibly sad, if on some future day, Americans were to lament the fact that the big names in American Journalism ignored prescient warnings from the bloggers who tried to raise an effective amount of righteous indignation about the electronic voting machines? With Fox as America’s point man in the realm of journalism, it seems as if worrying about honest elections is just about as serious a topic as wondering if wrestling matches have predetermined winners.

On the one side you had the workers and a legitimately elected government and on the opposing side were capitalists, nobles, clergy, police, and the military. The fascists condoned torture, murder, disregard for international agreements, and bombings with extensive collateral damage to civilians. Sounds just like what’s happening in America, to this columnist. Do you think Rush Limbaugh will spend any time refuting this column?

Daniel S. Davis, on page 10 of “Spain’s Civil War,” says: “An old proverb describes the situation: ‘In Spain there are two Spains: one that works and does not eat, and the other that eats but does not work.’” Which side do you suppose would support the continuation of the Bush tax cuts?

Now the disk jockey will play “Four Dead in Ohio,” “Kung Fu Fighting,” and “Dixie.” We gotta go get something to eat. Have a “true gen” type week.

July 21, 2010

Don Quixote and the electronic voting machines

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , — Bob Patterson @ 2:11 pm

The New York Time’s recent obituary for Rev. William R. Callahan stated that the death had been announced by the Quixote Center. That was the first this columnist had ever heard of that group and we wondered if, in this age of ubiquitous awards ceremonies, they hand out kudos and statuettes annually to people who attempt the impossible. Everyone knows that if God intended for man to fly He would have given homo sapiens wings, but that doesn’t mean that those crazy Wright Brothers don’t deserve an award for trying.

A recent online article by Allison Kilkenny informed readers about a study that concluded that partisan citizens are not prone to being converted by facts, so it becomes obvious that the “preaching to the choir” aspect of political commentary carries with it a meager payoff and that is about all those with a liberal point of view can expect for their efforts.

Those two bits of news added together make it extremely poignant for a fellow who learned that any contributed content (to a certain other liberal web site) concerning the possibility that the Republicans would use the electronic voting machines without a paper trail to rig elections in favor of their own candidates earned him a chance to be (as they say in drinker’s terminology) 86’ed off the site. The very idea was denounced as being a conspiracy theory indicating the writer had lapsed into lunacy. Whatever. The bottom line is that only one of two conclusions can be reached. So what binary choice does that indicate?

Well, if the columnist turns out to have been correct in his assessment of the situation, after the ambush is unleashed and (as a hypothetical example) a Republican, backed by a Republican majority house and Senate, is sworn in as President in January of 2013, then the inauguration will provide the writer with a pyrrhic victory that is filled with a bitter taste and an opportunity to produce eight more years of (Jeb) Bush-bashing columns.

Conversely, if this year’s fall elections and the Presidential election in 2012 turn out to be overwhelming mandates for Obama and the Democrats to “continue doing what you’re doing,” then the ostracism of the “rigged elections” point of view will have been a bit of digital streamlining that – while seeming to be a contradiction in the “free exchange of concepts and ideas” policy espoused by the non-ditto-head faction – will turn out to have been (in retrospect) an example of editing efficiency.

This columnist knows positively that he has been wrong before (Native Dancer had a lock on the Kentucky Derby’s winner circle until Dark Star blew past in the stretch) and so we’ll try to turn our attention to more mundane matters while we await the mid term mandate for Obama to appear via the election night stats on the TV screens across America.
One of the liberal radio personalities (Tom Hartman?) pointed out that the conservatives are saying that President Obama is taking too many vacation days. When Bush was President the liberals said the same thing. At this point in the presidency, Bush had taken 96 vacation days and Obama has taken 36. Good thing facts can’t be used to dissuade fanatical Republicans, eh?

What compassionate conservative Christian wouldn’t be enthusiastic about ending unemployment benefits for his neighbors as a way of paying for a war that is killing dozens of infidels? Actually in a country full of homeless people and empty homes that have been foreclosed, a policy of guns not butter makes complete sense.

President Obama has encouraged folks to visit the Gulf region where it is allegedly a case of business as usual. Trouble is, if we do that and accidentally wind up too close to an oil boom, we can not afford the $40,000 fine for blogging without BP’s permission, so our financially motivated response is: “We’ll take your word for it, Mr. President.”

Back in the Vietnam War era, wasn’t it an in thing for celebrities to get arrested in anti-war demonstrations? If Hunter S. Thompson were still alive wouldn’t he go down to the oil spill and get arrested for reporting just to make a point? Why can’t Brian Williams be Hunter’s proxy?

Can’t you just picture Bob Schieffer being hauled off in handcuffs? Then wouldn’t his brother, Tom Schieffer, call his friend and former business partner George W. Bush and put the fixeroo on that situation?

Speaking of folks going to jail, it would make a good column if we could find out if Paris Hilton will visit Lindsey Lohan while she is incarcerated. Ms. Hilton has been maintaining a low profile since her well publicized “house arrest” stint. We thought she was going to become an activist publicizing the plight of people with claustrophobia who are forced to serve a time in a jail cell.

Don Quixote spent a lot of time tilting at windmills. Hans Brinker saved the day for the country of windmills. When it comes time to write a column that a topic that the writer thinks is extremely important, how can he know if it will be a “saved the day” effort of just another variation of the Sisyphus assignment?

This columnist has tried to convince folks that the electronic voting machines can and are being used by the Republicans to micromanage the election results, but very few people will listen and fewer can be convinced that it is happening. (Picture Kevin McCarthy yelling: “They’re here!”) Unfortunately, it turns out that the Quixote Center doesn’t seem to hand out awards for exorcises in futility.

The Quixote Center describes itself online by saying this: “a band of ‘impossible dreamers’ who joined together in 1976. We are a multi-issue, grassroots social justice organization with roots in the Catholic social justice tradition. Independent of church and government structures, the Center operates with an understanding that an educated and engaged citizenry is essential to making social change. For over 30 years, the Quixote Center has gathered together people of faith and conscience to organize highly effective campaigns for systemic change.

We draw inspiration from the satiric idealism and gentle madness of Cervantes’ dauntless Don Quixote. We trace our roots to the Gospel and the Catholic social justice tradition; but today, we gather people of faith and conscience from many diverse traditions to share our common quest for justice and peace. We work on issues of justice with people who have few other resources. By laughing a bit in the midst of struggle, we gain strength and heart to sustain our efforts for a more just and peaceful world.”

Since this columnist is a duly ordained minister; by the powers granted to me by the state of California, I hereby declare that the attempt to achieve the impossible will henceforth be yclept “the Brinker-Quixote Syndrome.”

If the New York Times does a feature story on the Quixote Center, we’ll always wonder: Did their obit inspire the follow-up, or did this column?

What does that leave to use as a column topic?

Would it take much time (and get many hits?) to bang out a column about: Comic-con 2010, The Hemingway Days Look-alike contest at Sloppy Joe’s, or Netroots Nation?

Maybe we could go and cover the annual Oskosh Air Show and on the way back stop and see the Seventhieth Annual Motorcycle Rally in Sturgis?

Are you aware that there is a Hokonui Moonshine Museum in Gore, New Zeland?

Maybe we’ll just stay home and see if we can catch Rush Limaugh in a rare bit of extreme exaggeration or his first flat out fib?

Wait! This just in! It’s about time for this year’s winners of the Emperor Norton Awards to be announced. The award is given for “extraordinary invention and creativity unhindered by the constraints of paltry reason,” in memory of Joshua Norton I, Emperor of the United States of America and Protector of Mexico. Heck no conspiracy theories there, eh?

Yogi Berra has (supposedly) said: “You can’t think and hit at the same time.” The same principle, during the electronic voting machine era, also applies for watching election eve voting results.

Now the disk jockey will play the “Man of La Mancha” soundtrack album, “When You Wish Upon a Star” and Jerry Reed’s “Eastbound and Down.” We gotta go check out why our name fell off the voter registration rolls and we had to cast a “provisional” ballot for the recall election when Arnold Schwarzenegger suddenly replaced the Democratic governor of California. On second thought, why bother? It will only sound like a conspiracy theory. Have a Barron Munchausen type week.

July 5, 2010

Fact-finding in a 1984 World

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 11:13 am

Before writing this column, it seemed prudent to do some fact checking.

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We intended to start with a reference to a Republican talking point about the statute of limitations for war crimes imposing a shrinking window of opportunity for any war crimes trial for George W. Bush. Repeated Google searches confirmed that he had been President and some Nazis had been tried for war crimes. Our recollection of talking points about a statute of limitations for war crimes continued to elude our Google searches. That, in turn, reminded us of Orwell’s 1984; “And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed – if all records told the same tale – then the lie passed into history and became truth.”

We had intended to use a specific quote about Bush racing against the statute of limitations as the basis for this column, but since we don’t have access to Lexis/Nexis; we couldn’t find any such quote and so it becomes an exercise in futility.

We had intended to ridicule the concept that there is a statue of limitations for war crimes. If such a concept had been cited as the Bush term in office drew to a close, then America’s free press would have pointed out the absurdity of the idea, wouldn’t they . . . or is the concept of a free press a false memory?

When both CBS TV and the New York Times ran items about Jeb Bush recently, it was immediately followed by a Chris Wallace reference to the possibility of a third member of the Bush White House dynasty. That, in turn, reminded this columnist that there is an unrelenting avalanche of pro-Bush propaganda that is cheerfully dumped on a (mostly) unsuspecting audience of gullible rubes by the alleged “free press.”

If Jeb is going to be the next President, why bother to write a column about the possibility of war crimes committed by a member of the Bush family?

“This process of continuous alteration was applied not only to newspapers, but to books, periodicals, pamphlets, posters, leaflets, films, sound tracks, cartoons, photographs – to every kind of literature or documentation which might conceivably hold any political or ideological significance.” After 9-11, there were some unsubstantiated reports that movies containing shots with the World Trade Center twin tower buildings were altered and the buildings eliminated from the images.

Could Jeb be elected President while the New York Time refrained from once mentioning the Broward Savings and Loan facet of the Bush Family History? Didn’t they recently admit that they didn’t call waterboarding torture because of a Bush Family edict? Isn’t it reasonable to assume if they voluntarily submitted once to the Bush Editorial Guidelines, they’d do it again? (and again . . . and again . . . and again . . .?)

We had a recnet chat with a fellow, Gentle Waters, who covered some of Berkeley’s most famous protests for the now defunct Berkeley Barb weekly newspaper. He agreed that using the electronic voting machines would facilitate the return of the Bush dynasty to the White House.

Did the soldiers in WWII fight to establish such a mockery of democracy in action? At the same time we met the former member of the Barb staff, we came across a 1945 copy of “The Best From YANK The Army Weekly” and were astonished to find that at least one solider specifically said he was against that future phenomenon. In a poem titled “A Plea to the Post-War Planners, T/Sgt. Philip Reisman USMC wrote (E. P. Dutton & Co hardback p-97): “ . . . I’ve little use for synthesized soup, or operas (soapy) televised, or trips to Mars in Roman candles, or caskets trimmed with Lucite handles, or wireless ballots for brainless voters, or Buicks with transparent motors . . .”

Here’s a difficult question for a conservative. Ask: “Will George W. Bush use the statute of limitations to avoid a War Crimes Trial?” It assumes that Bush was a war criminal and just narrows the focus down to a binary choice: will he or won’t he skate? Wouldn’t the concept of a statute of limitations for war crimes give Adolph Eichmann a good laugh?

When George W. Bush stepped down from the Presidency, some references were made about time running out for any War Crime Trials. The collaborators in the “free press” kept a straight face and refused to ask the antagonistic question about “Where did you get the absurd notion that war crimes have a statute of limitations?” Instead they just pass along the phony Republican talking point and essentially become accessories after the fact for the war crimes.

Chris Wallace will be remembered for being the first to speculate about a Jeb presidency, but the big opportunity for a “journalist” to shamelessly suck up to the Bush family and win brownie points will come this fall after the electronic voting machines are used to prime the pump for a Jeb win in 2012 by giving a Republican majority to both the House and the Senate. Who will be the first “journalist” to anoint Jeb as the frontrunner?

Won’t the fellow, who sets the precedence for the rest of the media to meekly follow, get “mega-dittos” praise for his valiant effort to do the John the Baptist routine for the Jebster?

Would it be good marketing to call the younger Bush Dubya’s Big Brother as a way of reinforcing the dynasty meme?

Since Jeb was the governator of Florida, isn’t there ample opportunity now for him to step up to the network microphones and criticize President Obama for the oil spills that are arriving at the various Florida beaches this summer? Couldn’t the sycophant “free press” skip over the process of the coronation of Jeb as front runner and cut right to crafting Jeb’s image as the leading spokesman for the Republican Party?

A journalist might point out that it would be odd to have Jeb blaming Obama for a policy of dispensing with oversight and regulation that was instituted by George W. Bush, but there is precious little danger of a bonafide journalist saying anything about a member of the Bush family that isn’t pure unadulterated admiration. Only the lunatics known as extreme left bloggers can say anything that smacks of disrespect for the Bush dynasty and they are merely tolerated as if they are America’s official crazy uncle.

For cynical columnists the summer of 2010 may be remembered as being similar to the minutes at a Rolling Stone concert when the audience’s collective nerves are stretched to the breaking point as they wait for Bill Graham to come on stage and say the magic incantation: “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s all about to happen . . . .” Just like a concert featuring the greatest Rock and Roll band, America will, this summer, work themselves into a frenzy of anticipation as “America’s next President” sits in the green room and waits for the paperless trail electronic voting machines to do their job. A Republican majority in the House and Senate will be installed this fall. Jeb will be anointed “frontrunner.” He’ll be elected in 2012 and the restoration of the Bush dynasty will be complete.

The compliant “free press” can do their part by beseeching Jeb for a statement about the arrival of the oil spill on Florida’s beeches and not blink an eye when his unbiased assessment is: “It’s all Obama’s fault.”

Orwell predicted: “The enemy of the moment always represented absolute evil, and it followed that a past or future agreement with him was impossible.” Hence an endless war is not just inevitable; it is the ultimate goal. Isn’t it obvious that Jeb will do a better job than Obama when he takes the helm as commander-in-chief? The inauguration of a member of a dynasty will convey the proper image for thinking of the fighting for the pipeline in Afghanistan as an endless process that will be passed from generation to generation and not a passing fade.

Marty McFly said: “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” He forgot to add that if a member of the Bush family puts his mind to it and if that is augmented by the paper trail-less electronic voting machines; it’s a “gimme.”

For those who think that electronic voting machines shouldn’t be a daily cause for concern, maybe they should call the Mike Malloy radio program this week and ask guest host Brad Friedman, if such concern is a bit of “Duckly Lucky” alarmism in action or not.

Perhaps it was Barbara Bush who expressed the Bush family political philosophy when she said: “This is working out quite well for them; isn’t it?”

Now the disk jockey will play the 1984 hits: “Ghostbusters,” “Karma Chameleon” and “Church of the Poison Mind.” We have to go road test the new Flux Capacitor. Have a “thought crime” free type week.

November 18, 2009

Ambush Alert!

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , — Bob Patterson @ 6:40 pm

On Sunday, November 15, 2009, this columnist listened to the Mario Solis-Marich show on KTLK AM radio and was a bit alarmed to hear the host urging his listeners to help Tom Tancredo become the Republican candidate for the Governor of Colorado next year.  Isn’t that a sophomoric exorcise in political strategy?  His rational for the root for the bad guy approach was that once Tancredo gets the nomination, Latinos will unleash a massive counterattack that will leave the Republican fully repudiated, humbled, and defeated.

My objection to that political gambit was to yell at the radio about the possibility that the Republicans in Colorado might (if they weren’t gentlemen who conduct political campaigns by the Marquis of Queensbury rulebook) might use the electronic voting machines, which leave no verifable paper trail, to hand the victory to Mr. Tancredo.

At that point it would be a complete disaster for the liberals and time for the conservatives to prod the media into a tsunami of “the polls were wrong again!” rebuttals to any objections to the validity of a rigged election. 

We made an attempt to contact the host of that Sunday afternoon radio show and inquire about the possibility of political ambush via the electronic voting machines.  We sent him an e-mail that read:
I listened to your program on KTLK Sunday and you were urging folks to support Tom Tancredo for Governor. 
I am going to write a column about that strategy because I think you are walking into an ambush.
What if you support him strongly (as a joke?) and the conservatives use the electronic voting machines to give him the governor’s office?
At that point you will have two choices:
One   You can say you didn’t really mean what your were saying and look foolish
Two   You can assert that Tancredo used the electronic voting machines to steal the election at which point it will be like saying Bush stole the election in 2004.  So what?  The Republicans will point out that the Democrats only use the “stolen” election argument when they lose.
At that point, who will have the last laugh?
Please let me know if you think that the electronic voting machines are unreliable in all elections or only in the ones that the Democrats lose.

He responded:
Hi, Thanks for your interest.  Ritter will have a Repub opponent.  I believe that Tancredo is the easiest to beat.  If there are plans to use high tech ballot fraud it will occur regardless of the opponent.

Mario Solis-Marich

Isn’t it nice that the Republicans will only have to contend with such a mellow, laid-back reaction? 

Good thing that the Republicans aren’t as nasty and unprincipled as this suspicious, paranoid columnist believes they are.

OK, I’ve had my “cry wolf!” moment.  Everyone go back to making Superbowl match up predictions, Academy Award predictions, and the continuing saga of the latest celebrity-scandal du jour.

If the Democrat wins, this columnist will have to write an “I wuz wrong” update.  If Latino voters give faux support to Tom Tancredo and he wins – oh well, such is life.  Also, this columnist will get to write an “I tried to warn ya” column. 

In “Kangaroo,” D. H. Lawrence wrote:  “A man must have <I>some</I> ideas about the the thing he’s up against, otherwise he’s a simple wash-out.

Now, the disk jockey will pay “Que sera, sera” and the forbidden songs “Speedy Gonzales” (sung by Pat Boone) and Manana (sung by Rosemary Clooney).  Now we have to vamoose.  Have a “via con dios” type week.

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