Of course, I’m talking about the 29th Annual Razzie Awards for the worst films and actors of 2008. The winners are:
Worst Picture: Mike Myers’ monumental movie mistake “The Love Guru,” although I think the also-nominated “The Hottie and the Nottie” should have nabbed a Dishonorable Mention.
Worst Actor: ‘Winner’ Mike Myers (“The Love Guru”) beat out Larry the Cable Guy? Of course, Mr. ‘Cable Guy’ has never claimed to be an actor, so perhaps this is fair after all. Is Myers trying to get out of a contract, or does he just not care anymore with tripe like this?
Worst Actress: The true Slumdog Millionaire (with a publicist) Paris Hilton for her performance in “The Hottie and the Nottie.” The AP reports that Paris’ two films, the aforementioned bomb and “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” combined did not take in $200 thousand at the box office, giving the lie to the alleged public popularity of the celebutard hotel heiress. Like the fully useless Donald Trump, Hilton’s celebrity is based solely on her ability to hire a good ‘sweet smell of success’ (or, in this case ‘stink’) PR agent who will endlessly get her name mentioned in the media. Isn’t it time for Paris to join fellow stick-figure clotheshorse Cindy Crawford (“Fair Game,” one of the worst movies ever made) in the land of sunny dumb obscurity?
Matching Prominent Republicans with Appropriate Film Titles
The story is Dan Quayle saw the 1972 Robert Redford film ‘The Candidate’ and thought it was a primer on entering politics instead of a warning about selling out one’s principles. Ronald Reagan is said to have had a regular weekly ‘movie premiere night’ while in the White House. Then we had GOP Rep. Kevin McCarthy using a clip from the 2010 Ben Affleck crime saga ‘The Town’ to make a point to Teabaggers in Congress. For a party that has so much enmity towards Hollywood, seems the GOP loves itself some flicks, which got me to wondering what movie titles would accurately reflect certain prominent Republicans. For better or worse, here’s what I came up with, in no particular order:
– Rick Perry: ‘They Live!’
– John Boehner: ‘The Lost Weekend’
– Mitch McConnell: ‘Hell Comes to Frogtown’ (or, ‘White Hunter, Black Heart’)
– Mitt Romney: ‘Liar, Liar’
– Michele Bachmann: ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’
– Tim Pawlenty: ‘The Incredible Mr. Limpet’
– Sarah Palin: ‘Mars Needs Women’
– Allen West: ‘Watermelon Man’
– Paul Ryan: ‘Throw Momma from the Train’
– Herman Cain: ‘Blackula’
– George W. Bush: ‘Moon Over Parador’ (or, ‘Wag the Dog’)
– Dick Cheney: ‘Above the Law’
– Scott Walker: ‘Gone with the Wind’ (or, ‘The Great Dictator’)
– John Kasich: ‘Joe Dirt’
– Rick Snyder: ‘Shadow on the Land’
– Rick Scott: ‘The Hucksters’
– Rupert Murdoch: ‘Citizen Kane’
– Rush Limbaugh: ‘It Came from Outer Space’
– Glenn Beck: ‘Dumb and Dumber’
– Bill O’Reilly: ‘The Mouse That Roared’
– Sean Hannity: ‘Frances the Talking Mule’
– Ann Coulter: ‘Heathers’
– Michael Savage: ‘Home Alone’
– Frank Luntz: ‘The Phantom of the Opera’
– David H. Koch: ‘The Magic Christian’
– Karl Rove: ‘Revenge of the Nerds’
– Ron Paul: ‘Dr. Strangelove’
– Rick Santorum: ‘Look Who’s Talking Now’
– Newt Gingrich: ‘No Country for Old Men’ (or, ‘Goldfinger’)
– Donald Trump: ‘Mr. Bug Goes to Town’ (or, ‘Hairspray’)
© 2011 RS Janes. www.fishink.us