BartBlog

July 12, 2007

Bunker Mentality

Filed under: Uncategorized — Volt @ 8:13 pm

Ye Olde Scribe Presents: Junior’s Dreams

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 5:28 pm

Humor Plucked from Scribe’s Inbox
“You decide ‘feather’ or not it’s fowl or funny.”

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation were chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.

However, the politician was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.

The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.

I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”…

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late!

Must have been a Republican. Wait, maybe not. Joe NO-momentum… was that you? Scribe always knew you were too much of a hypocrite to be a Jew.

CANNIBAL RESTAURANT

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon
a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling
somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat: $20.00
Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
‘Why such a price difference for the Republican?’

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one?
They’re so full of crap, it takes all morning.

Scribe’s Somewhat Little Known Facts
“Because the media refuses to do it’s goddamn job, Scribe has to.”

Did you know Rummy’s get away place, that he bought for a song, is on top of “Mt. Misery?” It’s twue! It’s twue! Mt. Misery used to be the place where they broke slaves who dared to escape from their masters.

How appropriate is THAT?

Yesterday the slaves… today the country, tomorrow… THE WORLD!

Junior’s Dreams

  (more…)

Christain Right Activists Disrupt Congress’ Morning Prayer By Hindu Cleric

Filed under: News,Opinion,Uncategorized — N @ 3:28 pm

For the first time in the history of Congress a Hindu was set to give the morning prayer in Congress today. Rajan Zed of Reno, Nevada, a Hindu cleric was beginning the morning prayer when he was disrupted by the activists from Operation Save America a wacky Christian right group. One activist said “Lord Jesus, forgive us father for allowing a prayer of the wicked, which is an abomination in your sight,” and “This is an abomination, we shall have no other gods before You.” The activists were promptly arrested and sent to jail. Ah, isn’t the Christian right a wonderfully tolerant group. Yes, they always follow the teaching of Jesus Christ by treating others as they would treat you. What a bunch of assholes. The level of hypocrisy from the Christian right is amazing.

After the incident Operation Save America released a fairly twisted press release. Some of that release follows:

Theology Moved to the Senate and was Arrested

Theology has moved from the church house onto the floor of the United States Senate, and has been arrested.

Ante Pavkovic, Kathy Pavkovic, and Kristen Sugar were all arrested in the chambers of the United States Senate as that chamber was violated by a false Hindu god. The Senate was opened with a Hindu prayer placing the false god of Hinduism on a level playing field with the One True God, Jesus Christ. This would never have been allowed by our Founding Fathers.

“Not one Senator had the backbone to stand as our Founding Fathers stood. They stood on the Gospel of Jesus Christ! There were three in the audience with the courage to stand and proclaim, ‘Thou shalt have no other gods before me.’ They were immediately removed from the chambers, arrested, and are in jail now. God bless those who stand for Jesus as we know that He stands for them.” Rev. Flip Benham, Director, Operation Save America/Operation Rescue

Wow! the Christian right just gets wackier and wackier. These are the people that brought George W. Bush to power and have a strangle hold on the Republican Party. Its no wonder Republicans are so messed up, with the Christian right leading the way they have become religious terrorists attacking anyone that does not believe in “their” god. I can’t wait to see what the Republican candidates for the presidency have to say about this one.

July 11, 2007

Larry Flynt is Tracking 20 Congressional Sex Scandal Leads

Filed under: Uncategorized — Volt @ 7:58 pm

Elana Schor, The Hill, July 11, 2007

Larry Flynt, the porn-industry magnate who first linked Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) to the escort service of the “D.C. Madam,” said Wednesday that his investigators are tracking more than 20 leads on alleged congressional sex scandals.

As Vitter remained missing in action for two Senate votes on defense policy, Flynt insisted that he exposed the conservative lawmaker’s sexual indiscretions only because they contradicted Vitter’s longtime defense of the “sanctity of marriage.”

“If someone’s living a life contrary to the way they’re advocating … then they become fair game,” Flynt told reporters. “I don’t want a man like that legislating for me, especially in the area of morality.”

In addition to the phone records of “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Palfrey, accused of prostitution and racketeering by federal authorities, Flynt is mining responses to an ad he placed last month in The Washington Post. The ad promised a million-dollar reward for anyone providing evidence of illicit encounters with members of Congress.

Read More Here

Americans Hate Themselves

Filed under: Uncategorized — N @ 6:34 pm

Americans hate themselves, the government and the corporations that seem to control everything. According to a new Gallup poll the American public has downgraded its opinion of nearly all institutions to the suck level. Only roughly 20 percent of Americans believe that America is on the right track, even fewer than in November 2006 and that is pretty scary.

A recent Harris poll showed that in relation to a similar poll conducted in 2000, the public has less confidence in the press, medicine, major companies and Congress. Well definitely the press needs an ass kicking, as well as those corporation and their CEOs that got on the George W. Bush bandwagon and have watched that wagon crash and destroy the country. Republicans have tried to seize upon this saying that Congress, now run by Democrats, is ineffective. The problem with that argument is that both the Harris poll and the Gallup poll strongly favoring Democrats in the 2008 election.

What does it all mean? What it appears to mean is that the country, even those that chose to elect the worst administration in history, are realizing what a colossal screw up that was. It looks like the times are a changing with the possibility of a larger majority in Congress for the Democrats and a Democrat in the White House. This change comes just in time to stop the madness that this insane power mongering and warmongering administration has created.

Bush: Presidential or Pathological?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 11:05 am

wehateclintons

That is the highly provocative question being asked in “Bush on the Couch,” a new book in which psychoanalyst and George Washington University professor Dr. Justin Frank uses the president’s public pronouncements and behavior, along with biographical data, to craft a comprehensive psychological profile of Bush 43.

It’s not a pretty picture, but it goes a long way in explaining how exactly our country got itself into the mess we are in: an intractable war, the loss of allies and international goodwill, a half-trillion-dollar deficit.

Poking around in the presidential psyche, Frank uncovers a man suffering from megalomania, paranoia, a false sense of omnipotence, an inability to manage his emotions, a lifelong need to defy authority, an unresolved love-hate relationship with his father, and the repercussions of a history of untreated alcohol abuse.

Bush can’t outwit a sack of hammers, much less Al Qaeda.

Dem blooger wants Pigboy dead – or is it a lie?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 10:49 am

World Whore Daily

A Democratic Party blogger says he wants to shoot Rush Limbaugh and is calling for volunteers to assassinate rock star Ted Nugent, who champions the Second Amendment.

Hart Williams, a former writer for porn magazine Hustler and who now toils for the Democratic Daily, was waxing incoherent about a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed by Nugent, complaining that it was likely ghost-written.

Al Franken raises serious cash

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bart @ 10:27 am

Link

Robust fundraising has propelled Al Franken to a lead in the race for campaign cash this year and confirmed expectations that the 2008 Senate race will be costly and tough.

Franken will report raising $1.9 million in this recent quarter and nearly $3.3 million for the year, likely outpacing incumbent scumbag Norm Coleman (R-Lame Duck).

“Anybody who was writing off Al Franken can stop,” said Steven Schier. “Anybody who thought Franken was a frivolous comedian … is just wrong,” Schier said.

Franken’s going to kick Coleman’s ass – I’d bet on that.

BartCop.com Volume 2010 – Coffin salesman

Filed under: BartCop Page — Chicago Jim @ 9:35 am

BartCop.com Volume 2010 – Coffin salesman.

BartCop.com Volume 2010 - Coffin salesman top toon

In Today’s Tequila Treehouse…

NYT on Iraq: Finally
Senator caught with ho
Monkey in ‘Panic Mode’
Bush to troops: Drop dead
McCain Campaign Meltdown
Pigboy’s Faulty Memory
Blackwater caused Fallujah
No truth, no consequences
Like Jennifer Aniston?

July 10, 2007

The Absolute Truth Concerning the Evolution Debate. -Grimgold

Filed under: Uncategorized — grimgold @ 11:22 pm

The basic, literal Christians solemnly declare the world has existed for 6,000 years. It’s in the Bible, the Bible is the word of God, and therefore it’s true. This circular reasoning utterly ignores the fact the Bible isn’t written in English and that the Hebrew portion especially, is almost impossible to translate.

The atheists, with science as their religion, are every bit as silly. They look down from on high, surrounded by mounds of dusty university textbooks, and snidely claim that not only is man 100% mud, having no numinous qualities, but that he evolved from banana slugs and blue-green algae. This ignores the fact there is no fossil evidence of in-between animals, such as a record of a cat-dog or a cow-horse.
What is worse; in terms of genes and chromosomes, Darwin breaks down completely. Apes have one less chromosome that human kind. This means in order for man to come into being, a female ape with an extra chromosome had to mate with a male ape with the same deformity, there had to be off spring and they had to all have the one extra chromosome. Then there had to be enough of them to mate and fix the species into existence. And yet Science has the gall to declare Darwin as fact when it is pure belief, a belief born of Science taken as religion.

So onward to the final word on the subject, a third theory called the gardener theory. I like it because it causes people arguing about evolution to be less dogmatic and more likely to change the topic to something important, like the FairTax, or term limits for Congress.
I didn’t make up the gardener theory but read it some years ago, and the author stoutly declared it as absolute fact just like the Christians and atheists do.
So what is the gardener theory? It is the idea that beings form another planet far, far away visited Earth, populated it with life, and now return every few thousand years to see how things are developing.
Sound farfetched?
It ain’t any worse that the other two.
Grimgold

Ryan Adams Hits His Stride With Easy Tiger

Filed under: Music Review — N @ 3:38 pm

Having released a ton of material in a variety of genres over the last few years, Ryan Adams has finally hit his stride with his new album, Easy Tiger. Dropping his dabbling in rock, hip hop and straight country, Adams has created the country rock album we all knew he was capable of making. For fans of Adams’ work with Wiskeytown this is the album you have been looking for since the band’s demise.

Easy Tiger is Adams at his most consistent. He balances the album nicely with ballads like “Everybody Knows,” “These Girls” and “Off Broadway” with rockers like “Goodnight Rose” and the jokey “Halloween Head” tying it all together with slower tunes like the Sheryl Crow duet “Two” and “Tears of Gold.” While a song like “I Taught Muyslef How to Grow Old” seems thrown in overall the album is very well done.

Adams is on tour now supporting Easy Tiger and his shows have been clear and hit filled. All this consistency may have something to do his sobriety over the last year. Whatever the reasons, Easy Tiger is an excellent record.

Limbaugh’s faulty memory: “I don’t know who’s accusing [Hillary Clinton] of murdering anybody”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Volt @ 2:27 pm

Media Matters, July 10, 2007

On the July 9 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, host Rush Limbaugh read aloud the following passage from a Dallas Morning News op-ed by Melinda Henneberger: “The most appealing thing about Hillary Rodham Clinton has always been her enemies, who often seem not in their right mind, screaming that she is a murderer and calling her names like ‘Her Thighness.’ They make you want to like her.” Limbaugh responded, “Have you ever heard of that? ‘Her thighness’? I’ve never heard of that term for Hillary, and I don’t know who’s accusing her of murdering anybody.” In fact, Limbaugh himself has suggested on several occasions that Sen. Clinton (D-NY) was responsible for the 1993 death of then-White House counsel Vincent Foster.

In 1994, Limbaugh reportedly cited a forthcoming “report” which he said claimed that Foster, who committed suicide in Northern Virginia’s Fort Marcy Park on July 20, 1993, “was murdered in an apartment owned by Hillary Clinton, and the body was then taken to Fort Marcy Park.” From a 1994 report by the national media watch group Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR):

On his March 10 radio broadcast, Limbaugh had announced the following in urgent tones:

“OK, folks, I think I got enough information here to tell you about the contents of this fax that I got. Brace yourselves. This fax contains information that I have just been told will appear in a newsletter to Morgan Stanley sales personnel this afternoon. … What it is is a bit of news which says … there’s a Washington consulting firm that has scheduled the release of a report that will appear, it will be published, that claims that Vince Foster was murdered in an apartment owned by Hillary Clinton, and the body was then taken to Fort Marcy Park.”

Read More Here

And now, a Message from the Bush Administration…

Filed under: Toon — Volt @ 9:53 am

Fear and Loathing in the Creation Museum

Filed under: Uncategorized — Volt @ 9:30 am

Ian Murphy, The Beast, July 2007

“THREE-O-NINE! THREE-O-NINE!” I crudely affected like an overgrown toddler, exuberantly waving the hotel room key card overhead, and cradling a small, foam-rubber Tyrannosaurus Rex. I adjusted the thick, foreign prescription bifocals strapped to my head, and steamrolled to the front of the line—purblind and unconcerned with normal etiquette. I wasn’t about to wait around in the Godforsaken lobby of a Cincinnati EconoLodge while the biggest story since creation started without us.

“Checking out?” slowly enunciated the helpless clerk, abruptly disregarding another traveler’s outstretched fistful of credit. She was obliged to immediately reckon with the obtrusive fashion anomaly before her—I was clad in Velcro fastened sneakers, a long sleeve polo shirt, and sweatpants up to my nipples, which were cinched awkwardly at my waist by a sporty fanny-pack. A slightly askew “JUST TRY TO BURN THIS ONE!” American flag trucker hat was my idiot crown.

“Hiiiii!” I brayed, thrusting the card into her mitts. “THREE-O-NINE!” I incorrectly counted the numbers off with my fingers, so the poor girl would understand what was happening. The other hotel patrons silently endured my rudeness. I was clearly some sort of mental defective, an innocent of the highest order. They wouldn’t dare.

“Hiiiii!” I individually greeted the members of a women’s college basketball team on the brisk waddle over to the continental breakfast.

“Holy crap,” whispered my fellow BEAST operative Josh Bunting. “We didn’t know that was you for a second,” he said, giggling like a schoolboy and hiding his face. He spoke for himself and our glossy-eyed cameraman, who, during the previous night’s 90-mph dash through Ohio’s monotonous and heavily policed landscape, woke periodically to warn me about getting tagged by radar:

“I might have some warrants out on me,” he’d hedged groggily from the plush back seat of our loaner BMW 740il sedan, dipping into a large bag of unspecified pills. “That’s all I’m saying.”

Read More Here

Not the World Series of Poker

Filed under: Toon,Uncategorized — Volt @ 9:22 am

July 9, 2007

How to Achieve Permanent Peace in the Middle East. – Grimgold

Filed under: Uncategorized — grimgold @ 9:50 pm

Bullet-riddled buildings, bomb craters, and black husks of burning vehicles compete for the camera as an enthusiastic media pans endless footage.
In between the blonde hard-body showing the newest exercise machine and the latest pill for erectile dysfunction, the television news announces the latest “breaking news!” terrorist atrocity as the worm crawls across the bottom of the screen soundlessly totaling up the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq, daily reminding us of Moslem stupidity.
Al Qaeda-trained soldiers carry 1000-year-old grudges in their hearts; raised to hate, determined to kill and be killed.
So what’s the answer? What is the lasting solution to this perpetual blood fest that has gone on for centuries and shows little sign of resolution?
Simple.
Give women: equality in education; the right to vote in secret ballot; even-handed justice under the rule of law, especially concerning divorce and rape; the right to practice religion alongside men as equals; the right to wear western clothing without fear; the right to hold political office; the right to publish; and the right to own property.
But why would this solve anything?
Because women don’t want a new AK-47.
Women don’t want to blow up American tanks.
Women don’t want to wander the streets screaming “Jihad!”
Women want home, family, and community. They want shopping malls, safe streets, good schools, and, above all, peace.
Give women equal rights, protections, and opportunities under the law, and begin the establishing of these as societal custom, and peace and prosperity will pour across the Middle East.

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