June 19, 2009
June 15, 2009
June 5, 2009
May 17, 2009
April 28, 2009
April 9, 2009
March 29, 2009
The Tattlesnake – GOP: Road to the Nut House Edition
Conservative Christopublican Michele Bachmann Offends American History By Quoting Liberal Deist Thomas Jefferson
Descending into obscurity, bereft of leadership, and driven to distraction by Obama’s cool, the fading Republican Party has opened yet another can of crackpot and let it pour over the religiously bewitched and acutely ignorant leftovers of nasty Nixonism, regressive Reaganism and bumbling Bushism.
Joining the cranky ranks of Michael Steele, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter, Mike Pence, John Boehner and all of the other daft neocons needing professional help, the new can in question is boiling-over-the-top-crazy Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, who barely won reelection in 2008 over an obscure Tolkien character named, no kidding, Elwyn Tinklenberg. No offense to poor old Elwyn, but Tinklenberg is a politician like Limbaugh is a neurosurgeon.
Bachmann’s fringe-right dementedness is nothing new for her, as the excellent Dump Bachmann blog has archived, just not yet exposed to a national audience. In fact, Michele’s been in the forefront of every extreme Christopublican-corporatist nutcase movement since she was in the MN state legislature. In her Jesuitic devotion to the poor, she vehemently opposed any increase in the minimum wage, saying in January of 2005: “Literally, if we took away the minimum wage … we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would able to offer jobs at whatever level.” (No doubt she did not mean this to include Minnesota Congresswomen, nor any member of their immediate families.)
She has also been a stern Old Testament foe of all things gay, as this quote from a 2004 interview on a Minnesota radio program called “Prophetic Views Behind The News” highlights: “This is a very serious matter [homosexuality], because it is our children who are the prize for this community, they are specifically targeting our children.” (The gay is comin’ ta get ya!)
But just so the reader doesn’t think this might have been a singular anti-gay eruption elicited by one too many cocktails, there are also these tidbits from something called the ‘EdWatch National Education Conference’ in November 2004: “If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.” (As opposed to the bondage, despair and enslavement to corporate kindness caused by the lack of a minimum wage.) At the same venue, she took the hatchet to companies that neglected to contribute to her campaign fund, “They aren’t just kind of gay-friendly, they are gay advocates at Proctor and Gamble… Here’s just a few other companies that support the pro-homosexual agenda. They include Levi-Strauss, American Airlines, Sara Lee Bakery, Jaguar and Land Rover.” (“Sara Lee – Their Delicious Cakes Will Make You Gay!”)
March 22, 2009
March 18, 2009
Quote: A Defining Moment
“Neocrit (noun): a neocon hypocrite, particularly one who makes a living selling it to the rubes.”
– Matthew (Chironboy) at The Church of Mothra.
March 10, 2009
March 7, 2009
The Tattlesnake – Odds and Ends from the Week’s News Edition
…With No Particular Place to Go But Here
If This Were in a Book, You Wouldn’t Believe It: It’s been hilarious watching various members of the GOP hierarchy criticizing the Rush monster, and then scurrying hat in hand to apologize or ‘clarify’ their comments, the new Republican euphemism for kneeling at the ‘flabulous’ bloviator’s altar and seeking forgiveness. (Michael Steele’s ‘clarification’ – “Really, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about!” – was worthy of a Monty Python skit.) Doubling the fun is watching some of the same humbugs deny the bleeding obvious — Limbaugh is the 500-pound elephant in the middle of the Republican Party’s leaky punchbowl and he’s calling the shots now. This is killing the GOP and there’s nothing they can do about it – welcome to your self-made hell, neocons.
Speaking of the Mouth of the Wingnut South, Limbaugh recently challenged Obama to debate him on his show, knowing full well, naturally, that the president has much more important things to do than goose Lard Lad’s ratings. If Rush really wants to debate Obama, here’s something he could do, if he has the guts: Run for president in 2012 and, if he’s the Republican nominee, he’ll get his debate with Obama, probably even two or three. Don’t bet on that happening, though – Limbaugh would never face the people that way – he only talks to Dittoheads and other psychotics. (Incidentally, the Radio-Dazed Monarch’s assurances of 20 million weekly listeners may be as exaggerated as his bulbous torso – it also doesn’t confirm how many are tuning in to laugh with him and how many to laugh at him.)
February 8, 2009
The Tattlesnake – Six Neocon Whoppers: Myth, Truth and Proof Edition
The Dirty Half-Dozen: Exposing Some Recent Right-Wing Fairy Tales and Deceptions
1. Myth: Rupert Murdoch and his News Corporation media possessions, The Wall Street Journal and Fox News, are the only national media outlets making money and increasing audience right now. Truth: Murdoch’s News Corp. is losing money hand over fist, $6.4 billion in the last two quarters, and cutting staff as the circulation of the WSJ and ratings for Fox News decline. Proof: Here’s an excerpt from an AP report:
“News Corp., the global media giant controlled by Rupert Murdoch, said Thursday it lost $6.4 billion in its most recent quarter because of a massive write-down in the value of its assets.
“The New York-based company, which owns The Wall Street Journal and the Fox broadcast network, also forecast a 30 percent drop in operating profits for the fiscal year to June from a year ago, when it earned $5.13 billion.” [...]
“News Corp. also said it had cut 800 positions across its Fox properties, including the 20th Century Fox movie studio, in moves that it expected to save $400 million a year. The Wall Street Journal said Thursday it is cutting about two dozen newsroom positions.”
– Ryan Nakashima, AP Business Writer, “News Corp. loses $6.4 billion in 2Q,” Feb. 5, 2009.
2. Myth: “Government jobs don’t stimulate the economy.” Recently Sen. Tom Coburn (R-NotOK) was promoting this bit of balderdash on MSNBC, but I’ve heard and read it elsewhere in the right-wing media as well. Truth: This is nonsense from the days of Herbert Hoover. Proof: Under Franklin D. Roosevelt such government employment programs as the WPA and CCC reduced unemployment dramatically during the Great Depression and improved the economy, as much as many neocon economists are desperately trying to rewrite history to reflect the opposite. Just like everyone else, government employees pay taxes and buy things – houses, cars, food, clothes and appliances –– that stimulate the economy.
3. Myth: Rush Limbaugh never actually said about President Obama, “I hope he fails.” Truth: Yes, he did and I heard it. Proof: Here’s the audio clip. He plainly says he was asked for quote about Obama and replied, “I hope he fails.”
4. Myth: “Tax cuts are the best way to improve the economy.” Truth: No, they aren’t. Proof: The last eight years of tax cuts under Bush.
5. Myth: “Free market capitalism will regulate itself.” Truth: You’re crazy. It’s like saying a basket of vipers will regulate itself into a litter of puppies. Proof: The economic collapse engendered by the ‘hands-off’ policies of Bush as well as bankers, Wall Street, automakers and other large corporations begging for bailouts to avoid bankruptcy. Then there’s Bernie Madoff, Enron, and all of the other members of the Corrupt Bastards Club, with the latest outrageous entry being the Peanut Corporation of America, who knowingly sold salmonella-tainted nuts to poor kids enrolled in school free-lunch programs while Bush’s FDA inspectors slept on the job. (Maybe they should have tried cake instead.)
6. Myth: “Bill O’Reilly and Fox News never really got anything wrong.” Truth: Yes, they have, and the list is as long as your arm. Proof: Here are some highlights and a link:
Reviewing the accuracy of Fox News and O’Reilly over the past eight years:
January 1, 2009
November 25, 2008
The Tattlesnake — You Might Be a Neocon If… 2008 Update Edition
With a hat tip to Jeff Foxworthy, it’s time to play:
You Might Be a Neocon If…
… you believe any of the following: Barack Obama is (a) a socialist; (b) a Muslim; (c) the illegitimate son of Malcolm X; (d) the illegitimate son of Uncle Ben.
… you think Obama was a domestic terrorist who helped Bill Ayers plant bombs in the Pentagon; that he doesn’t have a legal birth certificate proving he’s an American citizen; and that his middle name indicates anything more than sheer coincidence.
… You believe President Obama’s first act will be to make the ‘nation’ of Africa our 51st state and send every resident a free Cadillac.
… you heard Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961 and don’t think it was a state then, thereby making it illegal for him to be president, but are too lazy to look it up before you forward the email.
… you believe Sarah Palin is really intelligent and informed and that the reason most of America thinks otherwise is due to the liberal media and their evil ‘gotcha’ questions.
… you think an unwed teenage girl’s pregnancy is a sign of the moral failings of permissive secular parents and liberalism in general, except for 17-year-old Bristol Palin.
… you believe Sarah Palin is (a) a real feminist; (b) a true populist; (c) a ‘good ole gal just like me!’; (d) winking at you seductively through the TV.
… you think it was fine for the Big Media to criticize every detail of Hillary Clinton’s campaign and excoriate her for her laugh, her clothes, her personal taste, or minor mistakes, yet Katie Couric asking Sarah Palin to name what newspapers and magazines she reads ‘every day’ is an outrageous and out of bounds ‘gotcha’ question.
… you thought John Kerry’s record of military heroism didn’t entitle him to be president, but John McCain’s did.
… you believe that, despite everything, this remains a ‘center-right’ nation.
… you think any of the following windbags are still politically relevant: (a) Rush Limbaugh; (b) Bill O’Reilly; (c) Sean Hannity; (d) Michael Savage; (e) Glenn Beck; (f) John McCain’s brother Joe.
… you actually believe that Big Media corporations are owned by flaming liberals, except Fox News.
… you think Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch is ‘too liberal’ because he once held a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton and employs Alan Colmes.
… you believe any of the following are real-live conservative intellectuals: (a) Bill Kristol; (b) Pat Buchanan; (c) Dinesh D’Souza; (d) Joe the Plumber.
… you think prayer in school is more important than a good education in school.
… you believe that courts should not ‘make law’ but go by a strict interpretation of the Constitution, except in the case of Bush v. Gore, Terry Schiavo, and keeping those designated as ‘terrorists’ by the president in prison without due process.
… you think Swift Boater Jerome Corsi is a great investigative journalist.
… you think Michael Moore is a communist dedicated to overthrowing the country’s health care system and forcing you to go to a government doctor for free.
… you’ve never read anything by Karl Marx other than a quote or two, yet consider yourself an expert on what is Marxist.
… you believe liberals and/or Democrats are all (a) atheists (b) liars (c) commies (d) America-haters (e) arugula eaters (f) always sitting around trying to think up ways to take away your guns.
… you think anyone who disagrees with you is unpatriotic, even if it’s an old woman in a wheelchair yelling at you for parking in the Handicapped space.
… you think Handicapped parking spaces are liberal commie plots to take away our freedoms.
… you believe wearing a flag pin is more important than living up to the Constitutional law of the land.
November 20, 2008
The Tattlesnake – Chickenhawk Squawk and Other Battle-Tattle Edition
WHY DID THE CHICKENHAWK CROSS THE ROAD?
You know those “Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes? Well, here are some with a slight twist. If you weren’t sick of them before, you will be now…
George W. Bush: To stay ahead of that Dan Rather lawsuit.
Dick Cheney: To get to Dubai before anybody else indicts him.
Karl Rove: Don’t interpret that chicken crossing that road as anything other than the eventual fulfillment of my subtle master plan for a permanent Republican majority!
Ed Rollins: Nixon’s chickens crossed that road while Rove was still not screwing cheerleaders.
Alberto Gonzales: I just don’t know anything. I was never informed of anything having to do with chickens or roads and, if I was at any time, I don’t remember it. That’s all I can say until my best-selling book comes out next year.
Clarence Thomas: Ask Scal or Alito about that; I’m heading out to lunch at Long John Silver’s today, and I might have a – ha, ha — Coke with my stuffed clams.
David Frum: To run screaming from Rich Lowry’s lurid masturbatory fantasies.
Norm Coleman: To avoid a legal state-mandated recount.
Ann Coulter: Quite obviously to stock up on vodka and gin for the next four years.
Michelle Malkin: To escape Obama’s secret plan to enslave America in a future of hope and change for the better!
Sarah Palin: To, ya know, get on over there and work on that other side of the pipeline with them bipartisan public servants like myself for the people’s business on that good health care and tax cuts and jobs ’cause that’s what they want us to do and see if God has any doors open for ya over there on that other side there for me to just plow right through there, ya know, even if I don’t drink, and even if it’s only cracked open a little teensy bit, and it’s not my fault the great war hero John McCain lost, unless it is, and then I’m sorry, ya know, but it’s not.
Saxby Chambliss: To see how low he can go.
Henry Paulson: Just give the chicken the $700 billion to take across the road with no questions asked.
Matt Drudge: Because no one takes him seriously on his own side of the road anymore.
Pat Buchanan: If Britain had just left Hitler alone after he crossed the road into Poland in 1939, there wouldn’t have been any World War II!
Newt Gingrich: To make sure the other side of the road wasn’t full of gay and secular fascists trying to take over the nation!
Lou Dobbs: That’s a Mexican chicken crossing that road to steal the eggs of an American chicken! My viewer poll says 97 percent are against Mexican chickens taking the eggs of patriotic American chickens! Why doesn’t Washington make policy exclusively based on the opinions of the people who watch my show?!
Rush Limbaugh: Dumb-ass liberal socialist Obama-loving chicken. If he were a smart conservative talk-show host chicken, he would have sent his maid across the road in his place.
Sean Hannity: I’ll only answer this question if the chicken was crossing from the left to the right side of the road.
Glenn Beck: He crossed the road and now nobody pays any attention to him on the other side; he’s lost in the shuffle.
Bill O’Reilly: Roger, is it time for a War on Chickens or a War on Roads?
Roger Ailes: Stop bothering me with dumb questions, O’Reilly. Just check your fax machine for your talking points, as usual.
Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby: To get a full pardon from Bush come January.
David Addington: Whatever the president wants to do with that chicken or that road is entirely within his constitutional powers in time of war, and I’ll ruin you if you dare disagree with me.
John Yoo: I had no idea when I wrote those memos that actual chickens might be tortured.
Samuel Joseph ‘Joe the Plumber’ Wurzelbacher: To buy a business for $250,000 that I still can’t afford on the chicken feed my 15 minutes of fame nets.
DITZWATCH
“My concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the relevance was Alaska’s investment in Darfur with some of our permanent fund dollars.”
– Gov. Sarah Palin, in her best former beauty pageant contestant form.
FINAL FUNNY
“There’s no such thing as same sex marriage.
After marriage, sex is NEVER the same…”
– Phil’s Phunny Phacts, from Phil Proctor’s Planet Proctor, 2008-22, Nov. 19, 2008.
November 9, 2008
The Tattlesnake – More Zippity-Doo-Dah From the Fading Right Edition
In the anguished ‘why we lost’ analyses in the days to come from the Fox News-Karl Rove-Bill Kristol neocons and their compadres in the Big Media, still discombobulated over Obama’s landslide victory in what they think is a ‘center-right’ conservative nation – the ‘liberal socialist’ Obama of November 3rd even magically transforming into a ‘fiscal conservative’ 24 hours later to preserve this incredible myth — you’ll read much about how the economic meltdown in late September killed McCain’s chances after he had pulled even or ahead in the polls. Horse pucky. McCain and Palin’s sour performance in the debates, the GOP’s over-the-top negative ads, a miserably run campaign, Palin’s exposure as an ignorant nitwit, plus the general public disgust with the Bush Republican Party had as much to do with his loss as the financial crisis. Also underestimated are Obama’s superior organization, discipline, massive GOTV efforts in most of the fifty states, and that the country, already centrist-liberal except in name, has been trending more to the left for many years.
McCain got an expected uptick in the poll numbers following the Republican Convention, which is commonplace after any major party convention, but he was receding even before the banks and markets hit bottom in late September. In fact, except for McCain’s brief post-convention bounce, the individual poll margins had remained consistent since summer with Obama in the lead, as this chart shows:
CNN 6/26-6/29: Obama 50%, McCain 45%
CNN 7/27-7/29: Obama 51%, McCain 44%
CBS 7/7/-7/14: Obama 45%, McCain 39%
CBS 7/31-8/5: Obama 45%, McCain 39%
Ipsos 6/5-6/11: Obama 50%, McCain 43%
Ipsos 7/31-8/4: Obama 48%, McCain 42%
Time 6/19-6/25: Obama 47%, McCain 43%
Time 7/31-8/4: Obama 46%, McCain 41%
Pew 6/18-6/29: Obama 48%, McCain 40%
Pew 7/23-7/27: Obama 47%, McCain 42%
NBC/Wall Street Journal 6/6-6/9: Obama 47%, McCain 41%
NBC/Wall Street Journal 7/18-7/21: Obama 47%, McCain 41%
(Hat tip to Rich Gallagher of Fishkill, NY, who compiled and posted these numbers at Altercation, Aug. 8, 2008.)
Obama-Biden popular vote percentage: 52.3%
McCain-Palin popular vote percentage: 46.2%
Obama-Biden electoral vote total: 365
McCain-Palin electoral vote total: 173
(Final numbers from FiveThirtyEight.com.)
Murdoch’s Propaganda World
For a complete list of Murdoch’s extensive News Corporation holdings, read the Columbia Journalism Review, ‘Who Owns What? here.
Also read:
News Corp. Suffers Staggering $6.4 Billion Loss
Ryan Nakashima, Huffington Post, Feb. 5, 2009.