May 17, 2011

Obituary for planet earth?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 1:28 pm

It was a dismal cold day in May and the clocks had just sounded 0800 hours. The view from the Victory Mansions nestled high in the hills above Berkeley provided a reinforcement of the previous evening’s weather guess with a tableau of pewter skies and soggy ground. Uncle Rushbo was scheduled to read out a list of figures which have something to do with the production of safe atomic energy.

Adhering to the journalistic tradition of writing a column about the end of the world a few days in advance of when the catastrophe was expected, by many devout conservative Christians, to occur seemed imperative to the World’s Laziest Journalist, but the cynical curmudgeonly columnist couldn’t provide himself with the logical motivation for undertaking (did you have to use that word?) of such an existentialist errand.

If the World really was going to end on Saturday, why bother to do the keystrokes necessary for an obituary for use on Sunday? Why bother?

Heck, if the United States can continue the War in Afghanistan for no discernable reason, why couldn’t the columnist bang out a few more snide remarks, bits of esoteric information, and political predictions that seemed to be a bit too liberal even by Berkeley’s standards? Why not? The alternative was to get the umbrella and go for a cold wet walk to the usual destinations.

Would the tree-huggers appreciate the humor if the world did end on Saturday? Such a catastrophe would mean that the human race became extinct in a photo finish with the end of the polar bear (Ursis Maritimus) species, which had been predicted extensively since long before the first “End of the World” billboard had been unveiled.

What about a bit of irony for the optimists who assume they’ll get docked if they are late for work next Monday morning? Because, we believe, there will still be “miles to go” on Monday Morning.

In the film “Point Break,” the surfer/bank robber, Bhodi (Patrick Swayze) advises the Establishment, in the form of FBI agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves), to “think it through.”

Have the banksters used the “think it through” method to assess the long term effects of the wave of home repossessions?

What will happen if the new masses of homeless Americans have a morphic resonance style collective epiphany moment and find that they have learned the Zen and the Art of Being “On the Road” lesson?

Isn’t literature rife with variations of a story about a traveling wise man who preaches to the people that they can be happy without a storage unit full of superfluous material possessions?

Wouldn’t it be dangerous for capitalists to face a mass movement of the Zen philosophy of renouncing extraneous material possessions? Isn’t America built on the concept that “Greed is good” and that if the Jones family next door has a flat screen TV (don’t they wear out more quickly? [“Mommy, is ‘planned obsolescence’ a Zen concept?”]) your family needs a bigger one?

Here is a hypothetical example: if you are traveling around Australia with a suitcase and you find some amusing tchotchke that would be a perfect gift for someone 12,000 miles away, should you buy it and lug it around with you for the rest of the trip or should you pay the postage and send it on its way? (Isn’t it ironic if the postage fee will be more than the cost of the book you want to send?)

If you are always on the move, you tend to only buy those things you know you need such as a very light battery powered alarm clock and a flashlight. (Kids will tell you that a cell phone is a flashlight.) Even a dedicated life long sloppy (and slovenly?) person will quickly learn the advantages of knowing precisely where things are in the suitcase, so that they can be located quickly in the dark without the need to empty the entire contents of the suitcase on the hostel bunk, just to find the elusive item. Suppose the item you need is the flashlight? If you dump the suitcase on the bed, you would need the flashlight to sort through the contents to find the flashlight. Hence even a slob will come to adopt the “a place for everything and everything in its place” philosophy while being “on the road.”

Wouldn’t it be very dangerous for the recovery, if massive numbers of people who have been made homeless via foreclosure suddenly learn and begin to preach the advantages of renouncing material possessions?

The German concept of Schadenfreude explains why TV interviews with people, who have just lost their home by tornado, flood, or foreclosure, attract large audiences, but what would happen if, instead of a crying victim, the interview produced an interviewee with the happy-go-lucky attitude who shrugs and says: “I learned I didn’t need it”?

The happy wanderer such as Chang Kai Kane, the guys on Route 66, the Fugitive, Sal Paradise (symbolism?), the Lone Ranger, Dr. Gonzo, etc. is amusing and entertaining but true patriotic Americans must never forget that such cultural rebels are the antitheses of American values and must not be permitted to weave their web of subtle philosophy heresy that repudiates American ideas and culture.

Back in the sixties there was a main stream media report (urban legend?) that some hippies used to stand in the middle of Highway 1 in the Big Sur area and extend both hands in the hitchhiker’s thumb a ride style and take the first ride they were offered.

That kind of ambivalent approach to life might have worked back then, but it doesn’t work. Sure, most folks in the Sixties could name several famous counter-culture personalities but sorry to say, the Sixties are over! Can you name one prominent counter-culture personality alive and thriving today?

Will the World really end this Saturday? The World’s Laziest Journalist has received reassurances from a reliable source, that the “fixeroo” is “in” and that it ain’t gonna happen.

Do not, whatever you do, do not tell your boss on Friday to do something that is physically impossible because you are going to need your job on Monday morning to be able to make those every growing monthly mortgage payments and perhaps, if your credit card isn’t maxed out, buy some new designer label threads to arouse some good old fashioned envy in your neighbor’s heart.

It’s just like St. Ronald Reagan used to say on the sign-off for a weekly TV show: “At GE, progress is our most important product.”

Now the disk jockey will play “This old house,” “Come On-A My,” and “Home on the Range.” We have to go buy a fondue maker and also give a shout out to the folks who will be having the Saturday evening barbecue on the roof of the Sydney Backpackers’ Hostel just about the time that the world is supposed to end. If it does happen, mates, you’ll have a marvelous view of the spectacle. Have a “Chill out, dude!” type week.

Afterward: Personal message for MM and KM in the area that hosted Sherman’s famous 1865 “March to the Sea” Tour: You should work out a quid pro quo agreement with “Blue.” See if you can get an offer to use his home as a short term crash pad so that you might learn the “No worries, mate” attitude (you will love Australia; it’s like America without war crimes) and, in return, let him have a night (or week?) serving as your vacation substitute host. Ask Blue if Harold Holt was “Osama-ed” for his opposition to the Vietnam War.

May 12, 2011

Is “Peace” obsolete?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 12:30 pm

The nostalgia laden icon, known as “the Peace symbol” is ubiquitous in Berkeley CA. The prolific bit of graphics could provide an industrious photo student with a potential theme for a project which could furnish enough raw material for a photo book.

The idea that the commercial exploitation of the Northern California city’s altruistic sentiment would be an ironic example of the crass basis for all capitalistic endeavor might be perceived by cynical columnists as an example of oxymoron thinking, but the unfortunate truth is that making a profit on idealism is a more realistic effort than is the lofty goal of the people who display the graphics which may or may not express the political move for nuclear disarmament by presenting the letters “N” and “D” in semaphore signals style. Apparently they think that nuclear disarmament is the first necessary step towards achieving a perpetual world-wide Peace.

Did the hippie trend of using the two finger “V” hand signal (popularized by Winston Churchill in WWII) to express the “Peace” sentiment originate in Berkeley during the Sixties? Dunno.

Ironically, the city that is almost a synonym for anti-war sentiment is also the location for a weapons laboratory think tank.

Sadly, the events of the first half of this year may put the altruistic goal of “Peace” so far out of reach that it can realistically be considered “Mission Impossible.”

The industrious family men who provide mainstream media with commentary would loose their precious paychecks for pointing this out, but a rogue (gonzo?) blogger can churn out such a column knowing that, in a culture dominated by clever conservative propaganda, his effort, even if it is a “spot-on” evaluation of a bleak truth, at best it will just provide a curious footnote for future historians scrutinizing the detritus from that year’s pop culture.

What evidence is there to back the deduction that Peace is now an unattainable goal?

For one example, examine the quagmire in Afghanistan. Now that Osama bin Laden has been sent to his eternal reward (which may be an inappropriate cliché phrase) the American military operation in Afghanistan may seem to be unnecessary. The fact that there will be no withdrawal of troops and no rational explanation for the American military’s continued presence in that country will be a subtle preview of the “perpetual war” reality that American voters will slowly comprehend.

Greater analytical minds than the one that this columnist possesses will have to make an evaluation for this possibility: “Could it be that President Obama was “played” into making a rash move when he ordered the assassination of Osama bin Laden because the short term surge in his popularity ratings will later be eclipsed when the military industrial complex forbids Obama from adding to his reelection potential by evacuating the American military presence from Afghanistan?”

Obviously the gangland style treatment of Obama was a crowd pleaser, but if (for whatever reasons) the American President fails to remove troops from that theater of operations and concurrently fails to provide the voters with a rational explanation for that failure to make the logical move, then his popularity rating will suffer.

Here’s a doggy treat for the conspiracy-theory-lunatic crowd: Suppose that some dastardly advisors, who are secretly committed to Ayn S. Rand style conservative goals of perpetual profits for privatized military support firms, lured President Obama into ordering the rub-out of Osama, knowing that the long-term payoff would not be beneficial to a Democratic party incumbent candidate in the 2012 Presidential Election. Could it be that Obama is getting tainted advice from moles committed to the Republican agenda?

If al Qaeda responds to Osama’s death, as they have promised, with a devastating example of terrorism in the form of a nuclear explosion and if that happens before the next Presidential election is held, that might have a negative effect on Obama’s popularity ratings and vote totals. If they hold off until after the 2012 elections, then it will be a matter of either: Obama won’t care because he can’t have a third term, or a Republican winner would easily blame such a retaliation on the fact that it was Obama who ordered the hit on Osama. Either way they will have to respond in kind.

The US has participated in the NATO air strikes in support of the Libyan rebels. Col. Qaddafi has shown patience and perseverance in the past when he chose to send terrorists to deliver his retaliation answer to the USA. Qaddafi shows little potential for a St. Paul moment decision to adopt the “turn the other cheek” religious philosophy. Hence, it can be assumed that Qaddafi will veto any “Peace” sentiments.

What about Iraq? Since revenge is an integral part of Muslim culture, it seems that for a generation or two there will be a large contingent of Iraqi citizens who are relatives of people declared “unintended collateral damage” fatal casualties, and who will consider it their duty to remind Americans of the Biblical axiom about justice demanding “an eye for an eye.” They would not feel obligated to be bound by any peace deal with America by (to use a George W. Bush phrase) a “scrap of paper.”

Recent events in Egypt may remind foreign policy wonks of the old FDR assessment of a dictator. His succinct assessment could well apply to recently deposed Hasni Mubarak: “He may be an S.O.B., but he is our S.O.B.”

A zoo in the New York City region recently had to contend with a cobra snake who got out of her cage. Well, the American Mid East policy wonks may have an analogous problem developing in Egypt.

Do you think that North Korea’s leadership enthusiastically hold an annual celebration for the birth of “the Prince of Peace”? Me neither too.

What about Iran? If the 2012 election delivers Republican majorities back to the House and Senate, will a President from either major American political party be prone to ignore dire assessments from the CIA?

The new CIA director will be a fellow with the “Green Machine” mentality. Would he be tempted to tailor make intelligence about Iran’s nuclear development program for the fellow sitting in the Oval Office after the January 2013 Inauguration ceremony?

If the Expanded War Authority Act, which is now being voted on by the Congress and Senate, passes, the next President would be empowered to order a bombing strike on the Iranian nuclear development facility without the seeking prior permission from Congress. Anyone who has noted the long stream of news items about Republicans urging such a preemptive strike wouldn’t need to consult a fortune teller to predict what will eventually happen if the Expanded War Authority Act passes and is signed into law. (Hat tip to the Mike Malloy radio program for directing our attention to that obscure bit of legislative news just as this column was being written.)

There are other pockets of animosity that portend of additional troubles for America. Such as? Somalia, Yemen, the India – Pakistan border disputes, and America’s porous borders to name some.

Some immature Americans reacted to the news of Osama’s death as if they had just witnessed a walk-off grand slam in the ninth inning of the seventh game of a World Series. Guess again. Folks in Berkeley who reacted by dusting off various examples of their Peace symbols might be more realistic if they made plans to revive efforts to provide draft counseling advice for students.

Omar Bradley is quoted in Barlett’s for saying: “In war there is no second price for the runner-up.”

Now the disk jockey will play John and Yoko’s “Give Peace a chance,” the Doors’ “War is Over,” and Berkeley’s own Fogerty Brothers (their band is called CCR) playing “Who will stop the rain?” Now we have to go see how the latest hunger strike on campus is going. Have a “it ain’t over ‘til its over” type week.

Judo Joe Obama


May 9, 2011

“Go ahead – shoot me!”

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 5:15 pm

The assertion that statistically the most common quote attributed to people who had been murdered via shooting was “Go ahead – shoot me!” made this columnist wonder how the number scientists had come up with that conclusion. Then we leaped to the assumption that they must have asked people being accused of doing the deed; “What did the victim say?”

The recent news stories about a Wikileaks revelation that al Qaeda have warned Americas that if Osama got whacked, rubbed out, or off-ed, their preferred form of retaliation would be in the form of a nuclear device.

In all the commotion in recent history over terrorism, we’ve lost count of the exact number of actual terrorist attacks aimed against the United States. Some of the more paranoid members of the lunatic conspiracy theory community have alleged that the Oklahoma City bombing had stealth links to foreign terrorists. A different branch (dividians?) of loons thinks that TWA flight 800 was struck by a surface to air missile.

Should the events of September 11, 2001 be counted as one coordinated attack or several separate attacks?

Some of the fellows wearing “9-11 was an inside job” T-shirts don’t think that the attacks on the World Trade Center should be counted as the work of terrorists.

Whatever the exact number is; it’s obvious that America’s leaders either don’t think that a nuclear response to the hit on bin Laden is possible, or, if it is, it won’t matter in the overall assessment by future historians studying George W. Bush’s “Forever War.”

America will, alone if necessary, stride forward [like Marshal Will Kane (Garry Cooper) in the movie “High Noon”] to face the bad guys with stoical determination.

In literary circles, there is an urban legend that Owen Wister (not Whistler like the guy who painted his mother) offered $100 (a considerable amount of money at that time) for any fact checker who could provide a contemporary newspaper account of a movie style “drawdown” example of gunplay. No one ever collect the money.

The shootout at the OK corral was more like a horse era drive by shooting than anything staged and choreographed by George Stevens and his cinematographer.

In “The Man who shot Liberty Valance,” a mild mannered lawyer is perceived to be a hero who shot a bad guy in self defense and parlays that into a lifetime series of political triumphs. The man who actually did shoot Liberty Valance (Lee Marvin) remains anonymous. Since some pundits have asserted that the Osama hit will provide President Obama with a surge in popularity that will propel him to a second term, there might be an opportunity to add some contemporary political commentary to a nostalgic column reassessing that almost forgotten John Ford classic film.

Could a clever writer produce a column about the shootout at the bin Laden compound corral and make it sound like a parody of Ernst Hemingway’s short story titled “The Killers”?

In the 1940 film “The Bank Dick,” W. C. Fields, under the scriptwriting pseudonym of Mahatma Kane Jeeves, included a bit that permitted the comedian to spoof the concept of using a gun under his coat for a fast-draw emergency situation.

Didn’t famed film critic (and one time Berkeley CA resident?) Pauline Kael succinctly express Hollywood’s love affair with gunplay in a collection of her movie reviews titled: “Kiss, kiss, bang, bang”?

The opening sequence in “Lord of War” (an underappreciated classic) portrayed the life of a single bullet.

Wasn’t “the single bullet theory” invented by Arlen Specter?

Which brings us to: “Back and to the left!”

What ever happened to the plans to film the story of Giuseppei Zangara and his fast tracked appointment with death?

Isn’t using a President for target practice a sure fire (pun?) way to vault to fame and a prominent place in the Contemporary American Culture Hall of Fame? Just ask Leon Czolgosz and/or Charles Julius Guiteau.

American cultural imperialism is based on the films from Hollywood and isn’t gunplay an integral part of that form of entertainment? Wasn’t one of the first films about a train robbery?

Didn’t movie script writers mine the field of murder with a gun to great advantage?

Where would Hollywood be today if they didn’t tell the stories of the gunslingers and their victims? Who doesn’t know about Harry K. Thaw, Sacco and Vanzetti, Al Capone, John Dillinger, Bonnie and Clyde, Charlie Starkweather, and Gavrilo Princip, the man whose bullets cause several million deaths? Didn’t someone once say that Guns are as American as apple pie?

Since, for their own protection, the identities of the Seals who did the shooting in the bin Laden compound must remain secret, that means that the story will be in the public domain and not sold as part of a “life story” deal for anyone of the men who were there. What Hollywood producer doesn’t love material (ripe for fictionalization) that doesn’t require the use of a large “rights” payment? How many film versions of the bin Laden caper will be made? Will it be five or six? In all the excitement, even the Hollywood Reporter might loose track of the exact number. Which version will catch the public’s fancy? Now, potential producers have to ask themselves one more question. “Do I feel lucky?”

Did any of the accounts of the termination of bin Laden’s command (with extreme prejudice) report what his last words were? Did he say “Top of the world, ma!” or did he say “The Horror! The Horror!”

How many liberal Californians decorated their hippie pads with the poster that showed California Governor (and former actor) Ronald Reagan in a cowboy costume with a drawn six-shooter and the dialogue balloon that read: “Thanks for the votes, suckers!”?

Some folks wonder why the Conservative Christians in the Teabag Party embrace guns.

Teabaggers are not given proper credit for promoting the sentiment of: “Shoot if you must, this old gray head, but spare your country’s flag.”

Mao Tse-tung has said: “Every Communist must grasp the truth: ‘Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.” Amen!

The disk jockey has lost count of all the good “shoot-em-up” songs and so he’ll play these classic American songs:
“Theme from ‘High Noon’” by Frankie Lane
“Stagger Lee”
“Frankie and Johnny”
Gene Pitney’s “(The Man who shot) Liberty Valance?”
“Bang Bang” by Cher
“The Long Black Veil” by Johnny Cash
The Johnny Cash song with the “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die” line
What was the name of that Johnny Cash song about a gun fighter with dementia who wanders into modern day automobile traffic thinking he is going to face an outlaw and former member of Quantrill’s Raiders?
The theme from “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.”
Loren Green’s song “Ringo”
“I Hate Mondays”
“Guns, guns, guns” by the Guess Who (that’s the band’s name and not a challenge) and, of course, a bunch of Ennio Morricone film scores.

We have to go to the shooting range and hone our self-defense skills.

Have a “never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way” type week.

May 7, 2011

D.C. Establishment Does the Usual Obama-Jama on Osama Drama


May 4, 2011

Mothers Day: “Greetings from the Pinnacle Collection Agency…”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Jane Stillwater @ 12:44 pm

I recently got an e-mail from a friend of mine who is truly a Marine Mom — being the proud mother of four (4) Marine sons who have either served in Iraq or Afghanistan or both. “Now that Osama bin Laden is dead,” Marine Mom wrote me, “now they can finally bring our troops home.” Don’t I wish. But as long as war profiteers such as Halliburton, CACI, DynCorp, Bechtel, Chevron, Aegis, Boeing, Lockheed-Martin and General Electric think that there is even one last spare penny to be squeezed out of the blood, sweat and fears of American taxpayers by selling weapons, then America will remain in Iraq and Afghanistan forever. I’ve been to both countries. I know. There’s money to be made there. Endless war. Milk it for all that it’s worth.

And speaking of milking American taxpayers for every spare penny they can, the Pinnacle Financial Group apparently is also specializing in this line of work — enthusiastically milking any and all the poor suckers who fall behind in their T-Mobile or Verizon payments, happily milking them for all that they are worth too.

Another mother I know just e-mailed me a rather sobering story about how her adult daughter had fallen behind in her cell phone payments because she had been laid off of her clerical job, and how her daughter had then been hounded and plagued by a collection agency. Well, okay so far. After all, isn’t that a collection agency’s job — to hound deadbeats?

But this particular collection agency has apparently taken things too far.

For the past two months, my long-suffering friend’s phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from the Pinnacle Collection Group in Minneapolis, demanding money from my friend’s daughter — who doesn’t even live with her mom.

Finally, after about 20 annoying calls from Pinnacle, my friend demanded that the agency take her phone number off their list. “My daughter doesn’t live here, you have the wrong number, please don’t call me again,” she told them over the phone.

And the rep from Pinnacle then SCREAMED at her. “We can’t do that! Your daughter gave your number as her contact number. We have the RIGHT to keep calling!” And then the rep hung up on my friend. Hung up on her! Like she was some sort of criminal. Then my friend had a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter. “Can’t you just pay them off?” And her daughter replied that she had already fully paid back T-Mobile after she had finally managed to find a new job. And yet Pinnacle keeps calling and calling my friend’s house? Huh?

So my friend called the police and the police said to write to Pinnacle a letter to tell them to Cease and Desist — which she did.

And I also rose to the occasion and did some research about debt-collection agencies in general and Pinnacle Collection Group in particular — and it turns out that debt collection, like the endless “war” in Iraq and Afghanistan, is just another racket, another sleazy money-making scam.

And according to Google, my friend is not the only one who is being harassed by Pinnacle. Got a few minutes? Want to get entertained? Here’s a whole bunch of statements from truly angry people regarding their experiences with this nasty agency:

But wait. It doesn’t stop there. Apparently, even if you have already paid off your debt and provided airtight proof to Pinnacle, they will still hound you — or your mother. And apparently they will still keep taking money out of your account even after you have paid them off completely — or out of your mother’s account. Happy Mother’s Day!

And if Pinnacle can run this scam on my friend’s daughter and get away with it, and is also running this scam on thousands of other Americans, let’s do the math. If each unwitting victim ponys up, say, one thousand dollars each and Pinnacle is doing this thousands of times a day, that’s a whole bunch of money to be made. That’s debt profiteering!

But there are things that you and I can do to protect ourselves from collection agency scams. We can talk to the Better Business Bureau, hire an attorney to sue the agencies or complain to the FCC. But what can we do to protect ourselves from war-profiteering scams? Apparently nothing. And our multi-trillion-dollar national debt attests to that fact.

Can we vote war-mongers out of office? Not unless we have expensive lobbyists and campaign managers working night and day on our behalf. Can we just phone up the Pentagon and tell them to back off? Yeah right. Can we gather millions of angry Americans in Washington to protest needless war? Been there, done that. No results. Can we just stop paying that hefty 54% of our taxes that goes to “defense” spending? And end up in jail? No thank you to that one either.

Or can we do what Julia Ward Howe recommended in her Mother’s Day anti-war proclamation of 1870, written after she had seen the terrible after-effects of America’s brutal Civil War — the suffering endured by returning soldiers and their families. She called these effects “Soldiers Hearts”. We now call them PTSD.

According to Gary Kohls, M.D., “What was an unexpected development for many of the families of the returning soldiers — both North and South — was the fact that many of the veterans who had no visible scars were still disabled mentally, many of them getting worse after they came home. The healing effect of time didn’t work like it was supposed to in the combat-traumatized victim of war. These ones commonly became melancholy, suffered horrendous nightmares, couldn’t function in society and were frequently suicidal, homicidal and/or turned to a life of crime.”

Here’s what Julia Ward Howe suggests that we do (Ah, if only we had listened to Howe back in 1870, then America would not be so economically and morally bankrupt in 2011):

Arise then, women of this day! Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or tears!

Say firmly: ‘We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

‘Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have taught them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.’

From the bosom of the devastated earth, a voice goes up with our own. It says, “Disarm, disarm!” The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor does violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions and the great and general interests of peace.

PS: So instead of going off to Sizzler or the Olive Garden or the Red Onion to celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s all demand an end to war.

PPS: Speaking of Osama bin Laden, will somebody please explain to me exactly what happened over there in Abbottabad the other day? Apparently OBL was cornered and weaponless and defenseless, standing unarmed in his jammies and bunny slippers, but the SEALS shot him anyway. Was that a mercy killing to keep him from having to get water-boarded at Guantanamo? Or was it just to keep him from spilling the beans about all his connections to the CIA? We may never know.

And why would having OBL buried at sea keep his followers from erecting a shrine to him? They could still erect one at the compound — although if it takes bin Laden’s fan club as long to build a shrine in Abbottabad as it is taking Americans to build a shrine at the site of the WTC, then we obviously have nothing to worry about for at least the next ten years!


May 3, 2011

Bin Laden Killing Assures Obama’s Reelection in 2012

It’s a sad fact that a sizable section of the voting public, colloquially known as Low-Information Voters (LIV), doesn’t pay close attention to politics, history or much else of serious importance to their futures. If they happen to be women, they can be found glued to shopping channels, ‘reality’ TV shows or Oprah; if men, they are usually focused on sports, video games or action films.

While we progressives can endlessly debate the nuances of Obama ordering the killing of Osama bin Laden, the LIV have already made up their minds: Obama is now the ‘kick ass’ president who brought down bin Laden, outdoing even Junior Bush, a previous favorite of this crowd because he invaded Iraq and kicked Saddam Hussein’s ass, even if Iraq and Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11. (Some of them still think he did.)

Most of us know or are related to members of the LIV contingent; these are the celebrators who were deliriously waving the flag, pumping their fists in the air and chanting ‘USA, USA’ in venues around the country after the news of bin Laden’s death was reported last Sunday. I have been drinking in neighborhood bars with the LIV for decades, and know how they think. They love Dirty Harry/Rambo kick ass commanders-in-chief and Obama just joined that group. No ambiguity here: bin Laden deserved to die and Obama killed him, despite the fact that al-Qaeda will not be put out of business, any more than the Gambino crime family ceased to exist when Carlo Gambino died.

Hilariously and pathetically, some Republicans are trying to give Little Bush credit for bin Laden’s demise, refusing to mention Obama, but even the demented bloviator Rush Limbaugh, Reagan’s parsimonious mouthpiece Peggy Noonan and that troglodyte Rep. Peter King are complimenting Obama for killing Osama. And what does the GOP have in the presidential bullpen to respond — Trump’s wild hair, Romney’s scintillating personality, Huckabee’s huckster Christianity, Pawlenty’s passive-aggressive puling, Bachmann’s Tea Party overdrive?

Also worth noting is that by this action Obama gained support from many in the military, proving to them he is no academic liberal wimp unwilling to ‘pull the trigger’ on the terrorists.

Obama is now the kick ass commander-in-chief and, in America, kick ass commanders-in-chief always win reelection, except for Poppy Bush. (Even his own party hated him for not going into Baghdad and taking out Saddam Hussein during the First Gulf War — and the LIV loathed him.)

Short of a full-blown Great Depression-style economic collapse, Obama just sealed his 2012 win and the LIV and military will be his margin of victory.

Copyright 2011 RS Janes.

April 7, 2008

The Tattlesnake – McCain Says Listen to Bin Laden Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:29 am

“I’ll speak for the man, or against him, whichever will do the most good.”
– Richard M. Nixon

On March 25th, MSNBC’s First Read reported John McCain’s delusional comment, “We’re succeeding [in Iraq], I don’t care what anybody says.” True to form, McCain’s Big Media Fondlers cast this bit of insouciant ‘unsinkable Titanic’ stupidity as their War Hero’s steadfast refusal to back down after the marking of the 4,000th American death in Bush’s Bust in the Dust.

What was more interesting about the story, though, was McCain’s embrace of Osama bin Laden’s position on Iraq, and how the Big Media mavens covered it.

Bin Laden, as he’s wont to do to influence US politics, apparently echoed George Bush’s and John McCain’s contention that Iraq is the central front in the war on terrorism and McCain, incredibly, accused those that didn’t believe bin Laden of “naivete”.

Who’s being naïve, Senator?


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