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July 31, 2009

Right-Wing Talkers: How Low Will They Go?

Sure, they are contemptible, cynical buffoons; drama queen fearmongers scraping the bottom of the barrel for ratings now that the neocon bubble has burst and they likely don’t believe a word they say. (It’s a performance!) Still, how much pure stupidity and racism do they have to spew before sponsors pull their ads and an outraged public demands their dismissal?

cartoon-stupid-racist-righties

July 27, 2009

The Origins of Rushbo

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 4:19 am

cartoon-rush-origins

July 9, 2009

What’s Making the Rabid Right So Rabid

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June 15, 2009

Curing Neoconism

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June 13, 2009

The Right-Wing Hate Machine

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May 28, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Suggestions for the Fox Populi and the Other Media Maroons Edition

Remember, Kids, Freedom Isn’t Free: While I would never support censoring anyone’s freedom of speech, I think there should be special conditions for those in the right-wing media who regularly abuse this right by using it to spread outrageous fabrications and misleading distortions. Following are a few suggestions:

Sean Hannity should be required to do his program in between regularly scheduled televised waterboarding sessions, say at 30-minute intervals every time he’s on the air. It’s could be like the half-hour time mark, “This is Sean Hannity and it’s exactly 8:30 – brggghhhh — arrggghhhh, STOP, STOP!!!!” This will end when Sean admits waterboarding is torture and quits show business the next day.

Bill O’Reilly should have to do his show without a teleprompter or a script. Also, every antagonistic guest – which would constitute his entire guest list — would be a complete surprise that O’Reilly would have to deal with on-air in ‘real time’ without preparation. Oh, and the guests would all wear Keith Olbermann masks. This will stop when O’Reilly admits he uses a teleprompter and a script to do his show and there’s nothing wrong with that. He’ll also have to stop ambushing people with whom he disagrees, and say Olbermann’s name at least once during every program, until he quits show business the next day.

Glenn Beck should be required to have Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar on his show as regular co-hosts. He would also have a crawl running under his name whenever he’s talking on the air, “Glenn Beck, Stand-Up Comic: You’re an Idiot If You Listen to Me!” until he quits show business that evening.

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May 18, 2009

GOP Zoo-ology

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 4:55 am

cartoon-gop-zoo-ology

May 11, 2009

The Tattlesnake – I Heard It Through the Grapevine Edition

There’s nothing more reliable than anonymously-sourced comments, as readers of the NY Times well know…

Item 1. “Here’s the way it worked in the GOP when Bush Junior was in office: If some Republican senator or representative threatened to vote against the White House on an important issue, they’d get ‘The Call,’ which went something like: ‘Okay, you vote any way you want but, when you’re up for re-election, don’t count on any help from the RNC, and we’re gonna call the big money donors to the party and tell them to take you off the list. Oh, and we’re also gonna run a heavyweight Republican against you in the primary, so you may not even get to run for re-election. So, you go on and cast your vote however you want.’ You could count the number of Republicans who crossed the line on one hand. I don’t understand why the Democrats can’t do this with the Conserva-Dems.”

Item 2. “These big biotech companies like Monsanto have labs down in Mexico that experiment on all kinds of weird sci-fi stuff they couldn’t get away with in the States. This new Swine Flu virus – H1N1 — is some kind of mutant combo of bird flu, swine flu and a human flu. How did those three get together naturally? If one of these weirdo genetic combos got loose outside the lab and started making people sick, you really believe in your wildest dreams that Monsanto or whoever is going to fess up and say ‘Whoops – our bad! We goofed and this genetically-altered mutant virus we created got loose!’ Sure — the billions in lawsuits and bad PR would bury them.”

Item 3. “Arlen Specter’s dreaming if he thinks he’s going to win the Pennsylvania Democratic primary. Off-year primaries are where the real party faithful vote and some of these folks still remember when Specter jumped from the Democrats to the Republicans in 1965, and they’re still pissed about it. Any credible Democrat could beat him. Hell, Chris Matthews could beat him. Specter could maybe save his bacon if he became a real progressive Democrat, but he’s already shown he’s not going there. Obama and [PA Gov. Ed] Rendell will say a few good words about him, but that’s not going to save him. That old man’s living in a fairyland. His ass is astroturf in 2010, in my opinion.”

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May 1, 2009

The Problems of Right-Wing Media Are Treatable by Modern Psychology

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April 25, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Even Under Obama, Our Two-Tiered Justice System Rolls On Edition

Why Are Glenn Beck and His Media Colleagues Walking Free While Minnesota’s ‘RNC 8′ Are Prosecuted for Terrorism?

Real Texans, natives from those parts of the state not dominated by the alligator-cowboy-boot luxury of the oil-pump Petrograds of Dallas or Houston, claim that, even in its death throes, a poisonous snake is still dangerous. Poke it with a stick and, with it’s a final ounce of waning spite, it will snap and try to kill as it writhes its last.

Such is the case with the fading right-wing media and their cohort in the Republican Party, their only hope for continued relevance encapsulated by the fervent wish that the increasingly popular President Obama fail miserably, and take the country down with him. These neocon elite know, even from their musings of history by the dim firelight in Plato’s cave, that a successful Obama spells the end, at least in their lifetimes, of the modern ‘free market’ corporatist-conservative movement blueprinted by Milton Freidman and his acolytes, and set into motion by Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and the two Bush presidencies, culminating in the Dubya-initiated disaster of our current economic crisis, the inevitable historically-repeated result of stealing from the poor to give to the rich.

But the Limbaughs and Becks, Hannitys and O’Reillys are also battling with each other for ratings from a dwindling, aging audience, causing them to engage in a war of words wherein they must out-do one another in issuing paranoia-laden proclamations in a voice of sullen outrage, bray archaic Cold War bombast or, in the case of Glenn Beck, display the tearful, fearful ramblings of a man losing his mind.

Not that any of them actually believe any of the guff they spread daily – they are mental itinerant workers who are well-paid for peddling a continually shifting ideology – when Bush said we are not at war with Islam, he was statesmanlike and diplomatic; when Obama does it, he’s surrendering to our Muslim enemies. When Bush ordered Shock and Awe bombings of Baghdad that killed innocent Iraqi teenagers, that’s understandable – the unfortunate ‘collateral damage’ of war; when Obama orders the three teenage pirates threatening the life of an American citizen shot, he’s killing kids. When Clinton was in office, seemingly his every movement, even firing staff in the White House Travel Office, was worthy of a special prosecutor; when Obama talks about holding those accountable who illegally ordered torture, he’s turning the country into a banana republic. And on it goes, an endless stream of swill offered up by the millionaire shills for the entertainment division of the Fox funhouse mirror of political propaganda, toiling in the fields planted by Edward Bernays, Joseph Goebbels, H.R. Haldeman and unsung laborers in behavioral psychology and mass marketing who devoted their professional lives to convincing the public to buy products they don’t need and adopt political ideas that empty their bank accounts and lower their wages, while tempering their minds to accept ever larger loads of pernicious claptrap that serves the profitable interests of the wealthy moguls who bankroll the whole anti-democratic, anti-Constitutional neoconservative operation.

Every day, in the safe confines of the radio or cable TV studio, these media evangelists of the New World Order wrestle with indomitably evil straw men, unleash torpedos of invective at liberal ghost blips on the radar, launch fusillades of bile at comic book enemies from the Eisenhower era, crucify those they detect as suspicious of Jesus’ divinity or conservative Republican provenance, and, most hilariously, mount fearsome attacks on the mythical Left-Wing Media, the corporate conglomerate parents of which are owned by wealthy capitalists who invest on Wall Street, seek further tax cuts for their upper-income bracket, deregulation for their companies, pay good money to lobby politicians, and, in many cases, own a piece of the outlet that broadcasts the daily doses of outrage and hate to the lower caste of ignorant, addled Proles seeking an easy leftist scapegoat for what has happened to their country in the wake of the misrule of the elite Republican right.

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April 21, 2009

Rush’s Bully Course

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:22 am

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April 5, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Rushing to the Bottom-Feeders Edition

Who Else is There Left for Limbaugh to Influence?

Rush Limbaugh is a phenomenon of the ’80s and ’90s when he still retained some ability to shock, and the entire regressive Republican agenda he insistently trumpeted daily, which fundamentally amounted to electing Republicans to throw money at the rich and permitting corporations and Wall Street to act without regulation, had yet to be proven by events, such as our present Great Depression redux, to be the recipe for mass disaster it has historically been.

Limbaugh had quite a time back then kicking around FDR’s liberalism that had brought the nation out of the last Republican-generated economic crisis of the 1930s, and counted on the uneducated knuckledraggers, attention-deficit cretins, McCarthyite jingoists, terrified shut-ins, imperial chickenhawks and outright cases of brain damage that populate his audience to trust his hooey-fied history lessons and giggle at his class-clown racism and sexism.

Rush often claims his talent is on loan from God but, since he’s never clear as to the identity of his personal deity, it might very well be one with two horns and a scaly tail who causes young girls to prodigiously vomit pea soup. (A reaction Rush is no doubt accustomed to from women by now.) Conservatism has often been used as a respectable ideological shield for the darker aspects of the human character such as greed, selfishness and cruelty, and Limbaugh evinces all of these flaws is his daily three-hour howlings at the moon.

What does this spoiled self-serving multi-millionaire mostly gripe about on his show? Those in the upper-10 percent tax bracket such as himself paying higher taxes. He makes $50 million a year and he’s complaining bitterly over paying a few percentage points more in taxes to help his country out of the mess caused by the Republican ‘principles’ he’s ardently promoted of deregulating markets, banks, investment firms, real estate, and unfettered corporate expansion, while lowering taxes for the rich and running enormous deficits. Instead of taking responsibility for what he’s advocated, Rush blames it on Obama and the Democrats. What a mighty good man.

Before confusing Limbaugh’s brand of patriotism with the dictionary definition of that word, it’s instructive to heed the underlying message of his broadcasts: Money before country — particularly Rush’s own sacrosanct bankroll.

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Young Rush in Love

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:06 am

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March 19, 2009

Young Rush’s Battle with VD

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 5:05 am

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March 12, 2009

The Tattlesnake – More Randomized Odds and Ends Edition

Or, Once Around the Poop Deck

Rumor Du Jour: Word is, the Big Money Boys are holding back from dumping any more kale into the GOP, especially since new RNC Chair Michael “Hip-Hopper” Steele has inspired about as much confidence as Jim Cramer’s investment advice. With ex-Bush speechwriter David Frum and former Republican contractor Newt Gingrich both taking swipes at the Mighty-Mite Talk Radio Leader of the Rabid Right, how long before the schism between the more-or-less sane Party Insiders and the Christopublican-Conservative Brown Shirts, flopping around crazily to Rush’s goose-step? Place your bets now – the money to put the chug in the GOP is drying up – nobody wants to back a loser, and the GOP is the bob-tail nag running last these days – and 2010 doesn’t look rosy.

Besides, even some of the faithful Christopublican ground troops are backing off – after 30 years of getting out the vote for the GOP, they’ve noticed the Republicans, even when in the majority in Congress and holding the WH under Junior, didn’t ‘get ‘er done’ on outlawing abortion and hanging atheists and Unitarians in Lafayette Park. And where’s the Armageddon they were promised? Plus, they aren’t thrilled with Limbaugh – he’s not pious enough for their taste.

Without the Christo vote, no GOP seat is safe in 2010. Folks, grab your popcorn and settle back: we’re watching the self-immolation of the GOP on a scale not seen since the Whigs bickered themselves to death. Something will take its place, probably led by more moderate conservatives like Susan Collins and Dick Lugar, while the Christopublican crazies and demented Dittoheads spin out of orbit, lost forever babbling baloney somewhere out near Uranus.

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Fans Send Rush to Judgment!

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:17 am

dittohead-monthly

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