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What if the Big Media told the truth, part 2,964?

BRIAN WILLIAMS: “Let’s go to NBC’s Chuck Todd at a McCain rally in Bent Fork, South Carolina. Chuck, I see Gov. Palin just finished speaking; what was the crowd reaction?”

CHUCK TODD: “Well, Brian, once again Sarah Palin has stirred up the crazy white-trash rabble into a lather of raw hatred against liberals, Democrats and, particularly, Barack ‘Hussein’ Obama. She’s managed to attract every drooling yokel, theocratic imbecile and racist thug on the GOP wingnut fringe here and stoked the flames of bigotry to the point where news organizations can’t even send African-Americans to cover her rallies anymore out of fear they might be attacked by her supporters.”

BRIAN WILLIAMS: “Whoa, that’s quite an indictment, Chuck. It looks like Sen. McCain is about to speak; let’s listen in.”

CHUCK TODD: “Don’t bother, Brian. Most of the crowd is leaving as they always do after they’re done gawking at Palin, and McCain never says anything worth hearing – just the same attack-the-opponent, no-new-taxes mumbo-jumbo and embarrassing distortions of the truth he usually spouts. You’d be better off reading the label on a Viagra bottle or sticking needles in your eyes as listening to one of this old crank’s speeches – they’re that tedious and boring.”

BRIAN WILLIAMS: “Well, thanks for that report, Chuck. Now let’s go to Andrea Mitchell with the Obama campaign in Indianapolis, Indiana, where the Democratic Party candidate is about to give a major speech on the economy. Andrea, I understand you’re the filthy rich wife of Alan Greenspan, one of the principal architects of our current financial disaster?”

ANDREA MITCHELL: “That I am, Brian.”

BRIAN WILLIAMS: “Then just how in hell are you going to do an unbiased report on this major Obama speech on economic policy?”

ANDREA MITCHELL: “Brian, I am what you might call a ‘tripartite schizophrenic’ – one part member in good standing of the wealthy elite, one part wife of a powerful neoconservative whose policies ruined our economy, and one part hard-nosed journalist. Don’t worry, I’ll have on my hard-nosed journalist’s cap for this speech.”

BRIAN WILLIAMS: “Why don’t you just recuse yourself from covering Obama altogether?”

ANDREA MITCHELL: “Oh, Brian, you poor idiot – Republicans never recuse themselves in any conflict of interest, don’t you know that? I guess you weren’t paying attention during that Supreme Court ruling that put Bush in office in 2000.”

BRIAN WILLIAMS: “Uh, we’ll be back after these messages.”