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November 1, 2008
The Tattlesnake – Electoral Enigmas and Other Wacky Weirdness Edition
Laugh-a-bull: McCain’s top pollster Bill McInturff appeared on MSNBC with Chuck “Not Related to Crazy Ashley” Todd on Halloween. To put it politely, McInturff was pissing up a rope trying to sell some bizarre notion that this election is somehow similar to 1984 and 1996 and is tightening up to the point that McPalin can pull off a win. Hell-o, Bill – both those years featured a popular incumbent peacetime president and an economy that wasn’t crashing to the ground and taking a devastated middle class with it. He also blabbered on inanely about armies of older, rural white voters crawling to the polls to catapult Wrinkles and the Winker into the Oval Office. This is big-box absurd – the majority of Americans, some 80 percent, live in or near a city – there aren’t enough rural voters, even if every single one voted for Mac and Cheesy, to elect him as president. Todd can be commended for keeping a straight face during McInturff’s lunatic raving, no doubt designed to buck up the flagging morale of the depressed Republican base. (Hey, Bill, poll this: Obama’s a point behind McCain in his home state of Arizona four days before the election.)
Laugh-a-bull Two: What if the polls showed Bush the Junior suddenly popular with independent and undecided voters? McCain would be rushing to the nearest microphone, “My friends, I’d like to remind you that I voted with President Bush 92 percent of the time and Governor Palin and I embrace all of his wonderful policies! Why, I’m just like him!” with the High-Heeled Sneaker nodding in agreement, “Oh, you betcha! President Bush is the original maverick all right!”
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October 30, 2008
The Tattlesnake – Obama Infomercial Seals the Deal Edition
While the Tattler doesn’t usually like the kind of wan-music-in-the-background soft emotional porn of the ‘Oprah-ized’ infomercial, Obama’s half-hour spot Wednesday night avoided most of the worst aggravations of this TV cliché, especially the forlorn solo piano music sound track with flourishes of swelling strings redolent of tacky video matchmaking and cancer treatment center ads.
It featured battleground-state stereotypes – a laid-off white male Ford Motors worker, a Latina woman trying to make ends meet, an elderly black couple hampered by chronic illness and worried about the future, et al — struggling with life in Bush’s downsized economy, but at least the people were real and their stories didn’t sink into cheesy Lifetime-channel melodrama; Obama’s interspersions in office surroundings reminiscent of Camp David were obviously intended to make the Low-and-Slow-Information-Voters of Middle America, awaiting the ballgame, feel comfortable with him as president, which was the main point of this smart $4 million investment.
The Tattlesnake – Frank Luntz is a Scum-Sucking Pig Edition
(With apologies to our porcine friends who also happen to suck scum, but don’t have much influence on the electorate.}
While some readers may chastise me for gross understatement in the title, and I take their point, I decided to keep this clean, or as clean as you can when describing the contents of the sole working Port-O-Potty on free chili and beer night at a baseball game.
“[A]sk a question in the way that you get the right answer.”
– Frank Luntz on his ‘fair and balanced’ polling methods.
What makes Republican word-whacker Frank Luntz my target is that he is an intentional and dedicated deceiver of the public, smart enough to know full well what he’s doing, but blithely willing to trot out his wares — borrowed from the misuse of modern psychological techniques to sell the gullible what they don’t need joined with a carnival conman’s shell game pitch — for the temporary benefit of his bank account, while his country slides into a wreckage of divisiveness and debt. If you’d like to find the home base for the decimation of our public speech into ignorant, inflamed, fearful, flag-draped hatred; the revision of our history into a reeking bonanza of selfish suicidal capitalism, evangelical Christian crapola and nasty neoconservative warhawk bilge; and the reduction of our political discourse into so much overheated, oversimplified, covertly racist, sound-bite slag, you can point to three names: the late Lee Atwater, Karl Rove, and the lesser-known, but every bit as important, Frank Luntz as the authors of the meltdown in progress.
“Luntz is glibly amoral, worrying only about whether language has the right effect, not whether it’s true.”
– Steven Poole, commenting on Luntz’s book “Words That Work” in The Guardian (UK), July 21, 2007.
It was Frank’s notion to rename a bill allowing more pollution as the ‘Clean Air Act’; it was Luntz who told the GOP to re-label estate taxes as ‘death taxes’ so that the wealthy paid less while the rest of us took up the slack; it was his demented mind that connected Iraq to 9/11 and instructed Republican pols to always preface any mention of the failed Iraq incursion with ’9/11 changed everything’; behind nearly every current and past GOP talking point, endlessly repeated in the Right-Wing Echo Chamber, you’ll find Frank’s pasty round face, tirelessly choosing just the right words to convince a malleable faction of the American public to eat corporate Republican turds and think it’s prime rib.
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