July 7, 2012

The GOP Elite: We’re Only In It For The Money

Filed under: Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 9:37 am


June 5, 2012

On Wisconsin: Vote Out Scott Walker and the Koch Bros.


June 4, 2012

The Koch Bros. Puppet Show


June 3, 2012

Unclear on the Concept


November 15, 2011

What is Twirling Around in Herman Cain’s Head?


October 23, 2011

Fight Back with Bank Transfer Day, Nov. 5, 2011


June 20, 2010

Didn’t Jean Valjean know about dumpster diving?

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 4:35 pm

Connoisseurs of symbolism were delighted to see that Rush Limbaugh’s suggestion that hungry kids should resort to dumpster diving came at the same time as when progressive websites were struggling with fund raising efforts. Starving for food or money? Rush will laugh at either predicament and urge his listeners to chortle along with him.

On the one hand millionaires make sure that their puppet spokesman has a lavish lifestyle in return for convincing the voters that more tax cuts for the rich are the humane thing to do, while on the other hand, people who want the public to be informed about home foreclosures, reduced social services, and oil spills are foraging for funds to sustain their efforts to suggest that maybe corporations (since they are now considered “persons”) should pay taxes just like their workers do.

(Has the Billionaires for Bush organization changed their name to Billionaires for Obama, yet? A bit of fact checking reveals that their website has not been updated since the 2008 Presidential election was held.)

Would it be overdoing sarcasm to call the hawkish corpulent conservative Christian spokesman by the code name used to designate one of the atomic bombs dropped on Japan?

The fact that what the fat man said was the antithesis of what Christ taught but that Rush’s holds a great appeal for Christians might baffle some folks attempting to analyze Limbaugh’s popularity. It’s as if dittowers and the dittowettes were enthusiastic members of the Unquestioning Dimwits’ Club.

When this columnist was in parochial grade school, one of the nuns told about a group of people who would torment the Christians being led to the Coliseum. According to her, there were some of the tormentors who got so involved in the vitriol that they didn’t notice that the Roman soldiers had let the harassers enter the “green room” with the condemned. The soldiers considered that a bit of rowdy and raucous humor. The folks, who were the targets for the joke, apparently didn’t leave posterity any reaction quotes.

If any tea bagger has a home that goes into foreclosure, they might get an inkling of how the duped Roman hecklers felt.

Anyone who joins in Rush’s ridicule of the hungry should keep the anecdote about duped Romans in mind because if they ever fall on hard times, they would be well advised to not expect any sympathy or help from the Excellence in Broadcasting staff and management.

In the book “Seven Pillars of Wisdom,” T. E. Lawrence notes that in a desert caravan, if someone falls behind the pack or got lost, the leader won’t stop or turn around or make any attempt to find the stray. Same rules apply when you throw your lot in with El Rushbo.

For Rush aren’t yachts like food? If you have to ask “How much is it?;” you can’t afford it!

Has any of America’s most prominent clergy chastised the man, who has just taken the “until death do we part” vow for the forth time, for his attitude which would fall short of the old “whatever you do to the least of my brethren” frame of mind urged by Christ? Of course not! They would no more criticize the patron saint of gluttony than they would give teabaggers the “don’t take your gun to town” advice.

Didn’t Ernest Hemingway say something about the pigeons of Paris sustaining him and his wife during the “starving artist” phase of his writing career?

In the book “Paris-Underground,” an American, Etta Shiber, describes life in Paris before and after the USA entered WWII. Ms. Shiber was given passage back to the United States as part of a prisoner exchange in 1943.

At one point, after Ms. Shiber gets out of prison, she asks her landlord about her dogs. On page 382 (Charles Scribner’s Sons hardback), she is told: “I don’t know if you noticed, Madame. There isn’t a dog in Paris any more. When there isn’t even enough to eat for human beings, what can you do about dogs?”

Mrs. Shiber then asks about the possibility her dogs were used as food and is given a vehement denial. The landlady does add: “I tell you, there are people who ate their dogs.” Wouldn’t that passage send Rush into hysterical laughter?

That opens up a whole new aspect for Uncle Rushbo’s brand of sick humor. Will America’s favorite “news man” soon be reminding the Democrats, after their unemployment checks run out, of the oriental wisdom: “Black dog tastes best!”?

(Would Lenny Bruce be proud of Rush Limbaugh’s efforts to revive and carry on the tradition of “sick humor”?)

Does Rush’s Florida seaside mansion have a vomitorium or would that be too decadent even for him? Will Rush hold a “tar balls arrive” fundraiser at his place for the good Republican candidates who apologize to BP? He will laugh off the arrival at his pad of the oil slick, won’t he? Shouldn’t the oil slick’s arrival make him laugh just as much as Jean Valjean’s prison sentence did?

How long will it be before Uncle Rushbo plays the “pile of little arms” speech from “Apocalypse Now” and adds his own laugh track?

Can a Christian minister preach the principles advocated by the Prince of Peace and still expect to get an invitation to the White House at Christmas time? If they are aware of the folk wisdom: “Ya gotta go along to get along!;” they’ll keep their mouths shut.

Speaking of misguided religious principles, this writer expects to do a column about the new book “God and His Demons” and a public appearance in Berkeley later this week by the author of that book.

Somewhere this columnist ran across a quote wherein a rich lady was reminded of the plight of the hungry to which she replied: “Well, why don’t they ring the bell?” She was referring to the servant’s bell which would summon a butler who would be assigned the task of fetching a meal from the kitchen. It’s that easy for the rich. We couldn’t find the source of that quote online. Shouldn’t that quote and the source be available on Jon Winokur’s twitter page?

A boy who is rumored to be the grandson of Eisenhower’s ambassador to India and who, according to unsubstantiated internet scuttlebutt, got his first gig as a disk jockey soon after his family bought a radio station, would just naturally assume that a well stocked refrigerator is as ubiquitous in American homes as is indoor plumbing. Such a lad might sound a bit disingenuous if he touted the philosophy of self reliance. Roger that, dittoheads?

We’ll use an ending quote that has an easier to identify source. In “Oliver Twist,” Charles Dickens wrote the line: “Please, sir, I want some more.” Will Uncle Rushbo add T-shirts with that quote to the page on his website that offers online huckstering? Did he or did he not realize that his line about dumpster diving would inevitably lead to comparisons to the “beat ‘em and starve ‘em” philosophy in “Oliver Twist”?

Now the disk jockey will play “Big Rock Candy Mountain,” Roger Miller’s “Dang Me,” and “Delicious” done by Jim Backus and friend. We gotta go work off a few excess calories. Have an “all you can eat” type week and, if you can, donate some money to web sites that are trying to refute the millionaire misanthrope. Maybe the next time it’s your turn to buy a round of drinks at the country club, you can get a laugh by telling your buddies what you did with the money in lieu of taking your turn.

April 17, 2010

Sarah Palin in ‘Curse of the Snake Woman’


February 8, 2010

Palin: She’s Only In It For The Money


At her for-profit National Tea Party Convention speech in Nashville, TN, on Saturday, Feb. 6, 2010, Sarah Palin said the T.P. movement is “a ground-up call to action,” and, for once, she’s right: It was ‘ground up’ in the meat grinder of Fox News, wealthy commodities trader and CNBC personality Rick Santelli, lobbyist and FreedomWorks head Dick Armey, and the legions of anonymous employees of the Corporate Astroturf world. BTW, the former Czarina of Russia East said she was donating her $100K speaking fee to a ’cause,’ without specifying what cause that might be. Could it be her future 2012 presidential campaign, or just to buy up some more of her own books?

September 26, 2009

Tales from the FOXholes, Part 5


June 12, 2009

Our Healthcare System is Sickening

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 8:41 am


May 11, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Another Scene from the Neocon Paradise Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 9:34 am

Where Government is Tiny, Everything is Privatized, and the Free Market rules… 

“Hello, this is the Little Big National Neighborhood Bank that really cares about you! How can I help you?” 

“Well, first of all, you could ‘care about me’ by not making me wait through 30 minutes of canned music to talk to a real person.” 

“Sorry, sir, but we’re very busy here taking care of all our happy customers!” 

“Yeah? Well, I’m not one of them.” 

“What can I do to make you one?” 

“Last night I took out $60 bucks from one of your ATM’s and I noticed I was charged $1.50 for the withdrawal.” 

“That’s right, sir, that’s our standard ATM transaction fee.” 

“But fifteen years ago when you converted to the ATM machines, you said it would cut costs for the bank and the savings and convenience would be passed on to the customer. Back then, all transactions at any ATM were free!” 

“That’s right, sir. Aren’t the ATM’s so much more convenient than coming into the bank to withdraw cash?” 

“But wait a minute here — about eight years ago you said you were going to start charging an ATM transaction fee of a dollar, but only at other banks’ machines; your ATM’s would stay free.” 

“Yes, sir – what’s the problem with that?” 

“Aside from the fact that the fee to use an ATM from any other bank has steadily risen so it’s up to $3.00 a pop, now I’m getting charged $1.50 a transaction from your own ATM’s that used to be free!” “Yes, sir, well, our fees have to keep up with inflation.” 

“But I just read that your bank made a record profit last year! Why not take a little less profit and show how much you ‘care’ about your customers by keeping the ATM transactions free?! I’ve been putting my money in your bank for twenty years!” 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. We want to keep you as our customer, but if you’re so dissatisfied with our service, perhaps you can find another bank that does not charge this ATM fee. After all, it’s a free market and that guarantees competitive prices!” 

“I’ve already called around to every bank in the area – they’re ALL charging $1.50 to use their ATM’s. What do you guys do, get into a room and decide how much you’re going to shear us sheep?”


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