February 15, 2010

Happy Presidents’ Day


February 14, 2010

Love For Sale (Happy Valentine’s Day, America)


Just Ask

Filed under: Uncategorized — Peregrin @ 4:44 am

Hello 1984

February 13, 2010

Ye Olde Scribe Presents: Let’s Play a Game Called Unintended Humor

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 1:09 pm

“Even answering such an E is like playing Russian roulette with a gun provided by Satan while demons laugh at you.”

Some scams are so bad, if they were human, they should be stand up comics.

Do you think Scribe should answer the following E-mail? Gee, even though all relatives are so poor they wouldn’t have ANYTHING to do with anything listed, even if they wanted to, so much money! Scribe has put in bold all the problematic phrases. Just how stupid do such scammers think we are? Considering how many Es like this arrive unsolicited, apparently they might be on to something there.

Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crimes Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J. Edgar. Hoover Building, Washington D.C


The GOP Celebrates the Liberal Lincoln’s Birth?


February 12, 2010

Sarah Palin: Sheena of the Bungle


February 11, 2010

And the no. 1 fundraiser of all House candidates is…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Greg in cheeseland @ 6:50 pm

Who would that be? Well, he is not a recipient of large corporate contributions. 80% of his contributions came from over 15,000 individual donors, many of whom who have given multiple donations.

He is not a teabagger relentlessly promoted by Fox news, and he gets little media coverage by any news outlet. He does not think that the Earth was created 6000 years ago, that President Obama was born in Kenya, or that global warming is a hoax. He is not a high-profile Democrat like Nancy Pelosi or Barney Frank that gets under the skin of conservative commentators. He is not even a Republican.

In fact he is a populist congressman that has been outspoken against the wars, has railed on too-big-to-fail bank executives and the Federal Reserve, and let his do-nothing colleagues in the House opposed to health care reform have it in a controversial speech in which he apologized to the 45,000 Americans who die from lack of health care each year.

He was also one of the first to write a package of bills to counteract the Supreme Court’s decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, a decision which would allow unlimited funding of campaign ads by corporations, saying, “If we do nothing then I think you can kiss your country goodbye. You won’t have any more senators from Kansas or Oregon, you’ll have senators from Cheekies and Exxon. Maybe we’ll have to wear corporate logos like Nascar drivers.”

Read more here:

Beck is Just Asking Questions?

Six Dead, Scores Injured at Manhattan Theater

Talk Show Host Glenn Beck Questioned in Wild Riot

By Wendell Swynn
The New York Post-American
February 11, 2010

NEW YORK – Police are still investigating who or what caused a panicked mêlée Wednesday night at The Public Square Theater in downtown Manhattan that killed six and sent at least twenty-five to the hospital, but senior NYPD sources close to the investigation say that Glenn Beck, a Fox News cable channel talk show host, is now a ‘person of interest’ and undergoing intensive interrogation.

Suspicion has centered on Mr. Beck as several eyewitnesses reported the controversial television host stood up and began shouting ‘fire’ midway through a showing of the Michael Moore film, “Capitalism: A Love Story.”

“I saw him, he was down front,” said Mr. Horace Nubbin, a Brooklyn cabdriver, referring to Mr. Beck, “and he jumped up suddenly and started yelling the place was on fire. I just grabbed my kids and ran, along with hundreds of other people.”

Venola Gaye, a waitress from Queens, described the ensuing fracas, “People were just trampling each other trying to get to the exits – it was horrible, the theater was packed. Me and my family were lucky – we were in the seats in back, so we got out easy. What was this guy thinking? Did he think this was some big joke or something?”

Before being taken into custody, Mr. Beck admitted to reporters that he shouted ‘fire,’ but said it was only meant as a question. “You know, it was like, ‘are you ready for a fire?’ or speculating, ‘what if we had a fire started by city inspectors for some reason’ or ‘what if the management of the theater lit the place on fire for the insurance money?’ You know, I’m just a rodeo clown and I say what’s on my mind. I can’t help it if some people don’t get the context or whatever. I was just posing possibilities and asking questions.”

But witnesses disagree. Mr. Euell Doonce from Long Island, who was sitting a row behind Mr. Beck, said, “He was mumbling something low and inaudible but when he said ‘fire’ he screamed it at the top of his lungs, several times.” His wife Umelda, also a witness, added, “There’s no doubt he started this panic. This wiseacre ought to be thrown in jail.”

At press time, authorities had not determined whether Mr. Beck would be charged, but various witnesses reported that Mr. Beck was sitting with two men who were also yelling ‘fire’ in unison with Mr. Beck. It’s been alleged that the pair were radio talker Rush Limbaugh and Fox News host Sean Hannity. Both men are being sought by police for questioning.

February 10, 2010

The Tattlesnake – Once Again, Jon Stewart Shows the BM How It’s Done Edition

Good on Jon Stewart for showing the ‘political infotainment’ arm of the Big Media, once again, how to do their jobs. Last night on The Daily Show, Stewart’s guest was Newt “Like The Reptile” Gingrich and they were discussing trying terrorist suspects under American criminal law. Newt claimed that the ‘Christmas Underwear Bomber,’ Umar Abdulmutallab, shouldn’t be tried in a U.S. court and had no rights since he wasn’t an American citizen. (Not true, incidentally — even foreign nationals have rights when charged with a crime in our country, but a topic for another time.)

At any rate, Stewart sensibly countered that the ‘Shoe Bomber’ Richard Reid was tried and convicted by the Bush Administration in an American courtroom and then Newtie, as usual, blatantly lied to make his point – he said Reid was a U.S. citizen and Abdulmutallab was not. Stewart let it pass as I yelled in futility at the TV, “Bullshit, Reid was a British subject!”

Following the commercial break, however, after the interview had ended, Stewart came back on to say his staff had checked and Reid was not an American citizen but a British national. This was a simple, unbiased fact, and it made Gingrich look like the horse’s ass he is and laid bare his lame argument to the light of day. If every ‘real’ news show adopted this practice of fact-checking guests and informing the audience where they lied during the show, not only would it better serve the news consumer and the country, but it would have the side benefit of keeping politicians honest – if pols knew that at the end of the show (ideally accompanied by a crawl across the bottom of the screen), their falsehoods would be exposed they might become more circumspect in their habitual dishonesty. BTW, I also think would be good for ratings.

Of course, this will never happen on Fox News, if only because 45-minutes of each hour would be taken up correcting the lies of the first fifteen minutes, and most of the other networks would shy away since it would cost them ‘access’ to prominent politicians, not to mention discomfit their corporate bosses, but just think – no more Republicans spreading fraud on national TV and fewer quisling Democrats trying to justify their cowardice! No doubt this measure would pass by a massive majority if subjected to a national referendum.

Since that’s not going to happen, all you can do is write or call your favorite media outlet and refer them to Jon Stewart’s interview with Newt Gingrich on Tuesday, Feb. 9, 2010, but don’t expect miracles – the BM will likely change the same day Newtie the Lizard bangs the drum for universal single-payer health care.

© 2010 RS Janes.

The Perils of Medical Marijuana — A Cartoon

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Toon — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 5:05 pm



Waterboarding 4-year-olds: The Cheney family’s legacy of torture?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Greg in cheeseland @ 3:04 pm

On Jan. 31st, Joshua Tabor, an Army Sergeant and Iraq war veteran, was arrested in Yelm, WA after allegedly water boarding his 4-year-old daughter for failing to properly recite the alphabet.

The police apparently had to coax the terrified girl out of the bathroom. She was covered with bruises. “It was hot! The water was hot!” the girl told police, according to the incident report. “I told him I would say my letters then! My heart shirt got wet.”

Tabor explained to police that after her dunk in the water, “She said her letters after that.”

That “ends-justifies-the-means” argument for using torture has been heard before. In an obvious reference to water boarding Al Qaida suspects, former Vice President Dick Cheney was asked in October 2006 whether “a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives?” Cheney responded like Cheney: “Well, it’s a no-brainer for me.” His daughter, Liz Cheney, defended that practice saying “this was an important program, it saved American lives.”

If the Bush administration had not authorized water boarding, would Tabor have come up with that one on his own? One may think, “Well, it’s not fair to blame the torture of a 4-year-old girl on the former vice president. Cheney was trying to save lives.” The truth may be that the legacy of torture goes far beyond that. It may be the kind of news we will come to expect if, as a society, the United States determines that torture is an acceptable method of securing information and inducing obedience.

At the center of today’s propaganda promoting the torture state are former Vice President Dick Cheney, his family and many of his friends, working through an organization called Keeping America Safe that is run by his daughter Liz Cheney.

Read more here:

The case of the vanishing WMD’s

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 2:04 pm

[Note: Spoiler warning: Some of Houdini’s methods will be revealed below in this column. If you don’t want to lose the wonder of “how did he do that?” stop reading this column now.]

Recently, when this columnist saw a used copy of Jim Steinmeyer’s 2003 copyrighted book, “Hiding the Elephant,” for sale, we had a dual motivation for glomming on to it; we’ve always been interested in how to saw a woman in half and there was a chance that, perhaps, if the author explained how Houdini made an elephant disappear, there would be the basis for a column explaining how Generalisimo Bush was able to perform the magic needed to get a gentle and peace loving nation to invading Iraq.

By page 13, Steinmeyer is extolling the qualities that made Howard Thurston a much more superior magician than Houdini. He notes the irony of Thurston telling his audience “I wouldn’t deceive you for the world” knowing that they had paid good hard earned dollars just to be there when he did exactly that.

On page 17, all tricks are explained: “The audience is taken by the hand and led to deceive themselves.” Ahhhh, now we see how Bush did it. America had regressed to the days of the Roman gladiators and given Dubya the signal that is copyrighted by Roger Ebert to designate approval for a bloodbath. (Does Ebert get royalties from the Caesar Agustus family estate?)

When the “Shock and Awe” TV special was being broadcast live; this columnist went to the home of a friend and found him cheering wildly while watching the carnage being delivered. My buddy has long been a big Ed Gein fan.

Obviously some of the Liberals have been a bit slower than others in accepting the “Immaculate Deception” lesson in their hearts. President Obama seems to have become hip to the message: America wanted the war with Iraq.

Now, as the slow on the uptake Liberals try to object to the use of depleted uranium, because of the allegations of a perceptible increase in birth defects in areas where that substance has been used, they are still trying to use facts and logic to persuade the Conservatives that such material should be banned from the battlefield.

The Liberals petition the media with requests to delineate the effects that depleted uranium causes. “Oh, please tell us how Houdini made the Elephant disappear!” Boys and girls: “You cannot petition the media with prayers!” The New York Times public editor will only read letters pertaining to stories that publication has run. Trying to bring stories that need to be covered to their attention is a “Myth of Sisyphus” task. Don’t waste your time or his.

This year as the world celebrates another Valentine’s Day, note the complete lack of enthusiasm the media has for the topic of using depleted uranium in the war zones. Think of it as America’s Valentine’s Day gift to the world.

Steinmeyer notes that Houdini’s appeal was derived from his skill as a master escape artist.

Walter Gibson wrote books about magic and one in particular explains some of the secrets to Houdini’s escapes. If you are of a mind to learn all about how magicians work their magic, you can acquire much of that esoteric knowledge, if you read enough books.

If you do go to the trouble of learning the secrets of magic, you will then watch magicians from a completely different viewpoint. You will pay attention to the way they distract an audience’s attention. Magician assistants (usually very attractive women in scanty costumes) are called “box jumpers.” You will appreciate them as showmen and not people who can perform impossible feats.

Sometimes when Houdini was about to perform a dangerous escape, his wife would give him a passionate kiss as a show of support and encouragement. She would (sometimes) also pass a key from her mouth to his during the steamy public display of affection.

In an effort to show that “there’s nothing hidden up my sleeves,” Houdini would sometimes perform his escapes clad only in shorts which preserved his modesty. If, for instance, his hands were tied spread eagle fashion to the floor, the audience wouldn’t get to see that he was agile and flexible and could untie knots with his bare feet. Many people who don’t have hands develop a similar level of agility for using their feet.

Ohhhhh Kay! So people want to be fooled and join with my buddy in making a festival setting for watching “Shock and Awe.”

In other words: no body gave a fig about the possibility that there were no WMD’s in Iraq. America wanted to see a tyrant get spanked and the WMD excuse was good enough for them. The crybaby liberals who fretted about a long and costly war were just trying to run interference for their pet social programs which (obviously) are destined to become metaphorical casualties in a long, expensive war. Boo-hoo!

Liberals are decrying the rising costs of a college education. Wake up, people! Cannon fodder doesn’t need the chance to be given an affordable college degree. The sons and daughters of millionaire politicians need not be concerned about such mundane matters as what it costs to go to a fine University. Hence rising tuition costs are a non-issue.

This year, as the world celebrates another St. Valentine’s Day, there won’t be but a handful of mentions from “bleeding heart liberals” about the use of depleted uranium in Iraq, Afghanistan, and the land where Jesus walked. Want to know the secret behind that trick? How can concern for such a serious topic vanish? Americans don’t care about deformed babies in other countries.

Young folks recently were reminded that the movie “Love Story” spawned the popularity for the line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” War crimes trials? Hell, no! Not even an apology. (Did you see the photos of the “
Do you miss me yet?
” billboard?)

Now, the disk jockey will play “Please Mr. Custer,” “Bless ‘em all” (ask a WWII vet about the way they changed that song’s lyrics) and “Praise the Lord and Pass the ammunition.” Now, it’s time to say abracadabra and disappear. Have a week full of magic and wonderment.

February 9, 2010

Palin to ‘Lip Sync’ Future Speeches Says Aide

Palin to ‘Lip Sync’ Future Speeches Says Aide

By E.T. Mandible
Nashville Journal-Advertiser
February 8, 2010

Exclusive to the Journal-Advertiser

NASHVILLE – In the wake of her speech last Saturday to the Tea Party convention held here, an aide to former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told this reporter that her future speeches would be lip-synched. (Lip-synching is a technique where the speaker mouths the words live to a pre-recorded tape or CD.)

An aide to the 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate, who asked to remain anonymous, said that Gov. Palin was “deeply concerned” that she might make a “boo-boo” that could be exploited by what the aide described as the liberal national news media.

Palin camp spokeswoman Meagan McCurdle, while refusing to confirm the story, dismissed questions by claiming that lip-synching is now a standard practice for anyone who appears before large audiences. “If you want to be heard in the balcony seats, you have to lip synch,” Ms. McCurdle said, “and everyone does it.”

When asked if those who have paid to hear Gov. Palin speak might be disappointed if she lip-synched instead, Ms. McCurdle offered, “I don’t think real Americans care if Gov. Palin actually speaks live. They are there to hear her message of freedom, and to be a part of a movement that is coalescing around her, to be part of the atmosphere of pee-in-your-pants excitement that surrounds Gov. Palin wherever she goes.”

Mrs. Mindy Snook, chairwoman of the Memphis Belles for Sarah organization, who attended the Saturday speech, said, “I don’t care if she talks standing on her head! She’s just so fabulous I can’t stand it! Sarah’s like doing the whole football team in one night! Who cares if she lip syncs?”

Her husband Ben, who is also the vice chair of the Tennessee Republican Party, added, “Sarah’s cutting edge and this is that kind of technology. Soon, all the politicians will be doing it. Anyway, she’s the whole package of sexy looks and beauty pageant charm, so what’s not to like even if her voice is on tape?”

When reminded of Gov. Palin’s criticism of President Obama for using Teleprompters in his speeches, Mrs. Snook replied, “This is an entirely different ballgame, it’s mixing apples and zebras with oranges and whiskey. Sarah can talk for hours with just some stuff scribbled on her hand, and I’m sure she won’t use a script or anything in the original recording. Let’s see that Kenyan Marxist in the White House do that!”

Before leaving Nashville, Gov. Palin is scheduled for a book signing at the Dixie Dog Breakfast Hut and Book Nook, Route 5 at Forrest Rd., tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. to noon, where she is slated to be joined by local favorite Dickles the Singing Cat.

Palin the Palm Reader, AKA: ‘The Alaska Handjob’


February 8, 2010

Palin: She’s Only In It For The Money


At her for-profit National Tea Party Convention speech in Nashville, TN, on Saturday, Feb. 6, 2010, Sarah Palin said the T.P. movement is “a ground-up call to action,” and, for once, she’s right: It was ‘ground up’ in the meat grinder of Fox News, wealthy commodities trader and CNBC personality Rick Santelli, lobbyist and FreedomWorks head Dick Armey, and the legions of anonymous employees of the Corporate Astroturf world. BTW, the former Czarina of Russia East said she was donating her $100K speaking fee to a ’cause,’ without specifying what cause that might be. Could it be her future 2012 presidential campaign, or just to buy up some more of her own books?

February 7, 2010

Scribe Responds to Random Quotes

Filed under: Commentary — Ye Olde Scribe @ 9:07 pm

Over at Scribe’s internet home: LT Saloon, Scribe has noticed there’s this neat little feature offering, mostly, anonymous quotes: anonymous if you’re too lazy to click like like Scribe. But Scribe isn’t too lazy to respond.

“Learn Spanish! Jesus is coming.”


“That’s what the lonely housewife said who lived in a hispanic slum.”


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