BartBlog

March 14, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Tales of Incredible GOP Slop Edition

“But after September 11th, having been being hit once, how could we take a chance that Saddam Hussein might not strike again?”
Ari Fleischer to Chris Matthews, March 11, 2009.

You Know When They’re Lying…

Not that I want them to ever figure this out, but if the GOP wishes to know why wide swatches of the American public no longer trusts them, aside from the Little King’s eight long years of rule by error, and an economy that had to be peeled from the bottom of the barrel, they might look at some of the incredible statements that emanate from the acrid mouths of the supply-siders.

For instance, Martian Talking Point Ari Fleischer appeared on the Matthews boy’s MSNBC variety hour the other day and spread it on thick for Bush’s Legacy. Out of the steaming heap of preposterous twaddle and dead-eyed slag with which he repeatedly insulted the audience, one statement, along with the outrageously delirious quote that heads this piece, was the ‘tell’ that removed all credibility from any other word he spoke – that’s when he implied that Republicans would never blame Obama should there be another 9/11. The remnants of Karl Rove’s viperous, vile, vicious, kick-below-the-belt Republican Party and their cohorts in Murdoch’s Media would give Obama a pass on a major terrorist attack? As Mark Twain once wrote, it’s enough to make a cow laugh.

“I thought they [CEOs] were honest.”
Jim Cramer to Jon Stewart, March 12, 2009.

Then there was CNBC’s Mad Money maniac Jim Cramer getting some needed schooling in journalism from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last Thursday. As much as Cramer bobbed and weaved, Stewart kept landing solid punches, but the one line that took any faint breeze of credibility out of Cap’n Jimbo’s sails was the ludicrous, fall-on-the-floor funny take that he didn’t realize corporate CEOs were lying to him. This hyperactive lump of dross has been selling his 20 years of financial experience on Wall Street and he didn’t know CEOs LIE? Okay, either this guy is the dumbest wide-eyed hayseed to ever hit the big time, in which case CNBC should rip up his contract and send him back to Mayberry, or he has such contempt for average Americans that he thinks he can get away with this monumental sleazebag-of-the-month con job, and I’d pick Door Number Two here.

Since Obama’s election, we’ve heard a landfill of these absurd head-slapping ‘tells’ from the Party of Limbo – “We believe in small government”; “We honor the Constitution”; “We’re the party of fiscal responsibility”; “Bush beat al-Qaeda and won the war on terror”; “We’re against earmarks”; “It’s Obama’s recession” – and I hope the Republicants keep it up. No advertising from the opposition could more effectively doom the GOP than endlessly repeating something as patently ridiculous as, “We’re the party that cares about the people!”

(more…)

February 8, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Six Neocon Whoppers: Myth, Truth and Proof Edition

The Dirty Half-Dozen: Exposing Some Recent Right-Wing Fairy Tales and Deceptions

1. Myth: Rupert Murdoch and his News Corporation media possessions, The Wall Street Journal and Fox News, are the only national media outlets making money and increasing audience right now. Truth: Murdoch’s News Corp. is losing money hand over fist, $6.4 billion in the last two quarters, and cutting staff as the circulation of the WSJ and ratings for Fox News decline. Proof: Here’s an excerpt from an AP report:

“News Corp., the global media giant controlled by Rupert Murdoch, said Thursday it lost $6.4 billion in its most recent quarter because of a massive write-down in the value of its assets.

“The New York-based company, which owns The Wall Street Journal and the Fox broadcast network, also forecast a 30 percent drop in operating profits for the fiscal year to June from a year ago, when it earned $5.13 billion.” [...]

“News Corp. also said it had cut 800 positions across its Fox properties, including the 20th Century Fox movie studio, in moves that it expected to save $400 million a year. The Wall Street Journal said Thursday it is cutting about two dozen newsroom positions.”
– Ryan Nakashima, AP Business Writer, “News Corp. loses $6.4 billion in 2Q,” Feb. 5, 2009.

2. Myth: “Government jobs don’t stimulate the economy.” Recently Sen. Tom Coburn (R-NotOK) was promoting this bit of balderdash on MSNBC, but I’ve heard and read it elsewhere in the right-wing media as well. Truth: This is nonsense from the days of Herbert Hoover. Proof: Under Franklin D. Roosevelt such government employment programs as the WPA and CCC reduced unemployment dramatically during the Great Depression and improved the economy, as much as many neocon economists are desperately trying to rewrite history to reflect the opposite. Just like everyone else, government employees pay taxes and buy things – houses, cars, food, clothes and appliances –– that stimulate the economy.

3. Myth: Rush Limbaugh never actually said about President Obama, “I hope he fails.” Truth: Yes, he did and I heard it. Proof: Here’s the audio clip. He plainly says he was asked for quote about Obama and replied, “I hope he fails.”

4. Myth: “Tax cuts are the best way to improve the economy.” Truth: No, they aren’t. Proof: The last eight years of tax cuts under Bush.

5. Myth: “Free market capitalism will regulate itself.” Truth: You’re crazy. It’s like saying a basket of vipers will regulate itself into a litter of puppies. Proof: The economic collapse engendered by the ‘hands-off’ policies of Bush as well as bankers, Wall Street, automakers and other large corporations begging for bailouts to avoid bankruptcy. Then there’s Bernie Madoff, Enron, and all of the other members of the Corrupt Bastards Club, with the latest outrageous entry being the Peanut Corporation of America, who knowingly sold salmonella-tainted nuts to poor kids enrolled in school free-lunch programs while Bush’s FDA inspectors slept on the job. (Maybe they should have tried cake instead.)

6. Myth: “Bill O’Reilly and Fox News never really got anything wrong.” Truth: Yes, they have, and the list is as long as your arm. Proof: Here are some highlights and a link:

Reviewing the accuracy of Fox News and O’Reilly over the past eight years:

(more…)

January 26, 2009

Bush Executive Order Overturned Ninth Commandment

Filed under: Guest Comment — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 4:19 pm

[Do you recognize sarcasim when you see it?]

A review of George W. Bush’s Presidential Executive Orders has found that the Ninth Commandment has been overturned and it is now OK to tell lies.

Good Christina youths, who have always been subject to parental manipulation via the religious directive to always tell the truth as a matter of honor, followed by some very personal question about chastity and pot use, can now emulate the Commander-in-Chief and tell as many lies as it takes to get off the hook.

Lies make life so much easier.

If you want to start a war, just say that some country has terrible atomic weapons and are just about to use them and that you have no choice but to counter-attack under the principles of self-defense.

Need to do you buddies a big favor? Just say that a bail out of the banks is essential to save the economy.

Need to bust the unions? Just say that the unions’ selfish attitude will prolong the New Depression.

Need to avoid prosecution for torturing prisoners of war? Just say that you saved American live with the information you received via “extreme” questioning.

Need to cover it up when torture has become endemic? Just blame it on a few enlisted people.

Need to win an election? Just say that paperless voting machines are scrupulously accurate.

Need to show the world that you are not a subservient Bush family media whore? Just endorse Jeb without any reference to Broward Savings and Loan.

Need . . . ? Just tell women that you aren’t married.

Need a sales bonus? Just tell gullible folks that variable rate mortgages are a good idea.

If your children become unmanageable because they lie all the time, tell them that the story about an executive order overturning the Ninth commandment is a fallacious urban legend.

Winston Churchill once said: “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.” So if you wanna go far; you know whatcha gotta do.

Now, the disk jockey is going to play George Jones’ “God’s Gonna Get You for That.” It’s time to take a flight on a magic carpet. Have an “Are you going to believe me or your eyes?” type week.

Wait! The disk jockey is making a last minute change and is sending this one out just for George W. Bush:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0EQlQXoEo

December 11, 2008

Republican Spruikers

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — Bob Patterson @ 1:56 am

(Fremantle W. A.)  December 11, 2008 If this columnist told you that he would sell you some magic snake-oil that would cure your leprosy, and if you bought some and it didn’t work, you could take the matter to the police.
 
The conservative talk show hosts who promote the Republican agenda (a spruiker is Australian slang meaning someone who touts something. http://www.allwords.com/word-spruiker.html) seem to be immune to any accountability.  Aussies want to know if the Americans are stupid or just too lazy to make the effort to become well enough informed to know BS when they are presented with a massive serving.  (Kinda like the old song about Moose Turd Pie, eh?)
 
If a man gives false testimony, in court, under oath, and if it was proved that the facts contradicted what he said, he would be facing arrest for perjury.
 
If a reporter gets the facts wrong he can be fired even if there is no lawsuit for liable or slander.
 
The spruikers who tout the accomplishments of the Republicans can say whatever the **** (heck) they want and will usually get a big fat bonus if the rubes believe what they say.
 
Has accountability become an extinct requirement for talk show hosts?  Has the U. S. become addicted to Republican spruikers?
 
If the conservative radio personalities tell falsehoods, why are then not held accountable by the citizens?
 
Famed comedian W. C. Fields used to portray a despicable salesman who sold phony patten medicine from the back of a wagon and everyone wanted to see him tarred and feathered for his dishonesty.  Why do people like el Rushbo get a free pass?
 
Perhaps the very avid Republican cheerleaders believe the old Fields maxim:  “Never give a sucker and even break!”?
 
Want to see an example of spruiking?
 
This columnist has promised to plug the anti-whaling efforts of Greenpeace in Australia and, since they don’t like to print fliers that get thrown away, we also promised to do so by providing our readers with the link to their website.
 
http://www.greenpeace.org/australia/
 
Now, we have kept our promise and given you an example of a spruiker at work.
 
There is an old adage:  “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on you.”  Listening to Conservative talk radio next year will be like advocating a “not guilty” verdict for the Nuremberg trial defendants.
 
Maybe this web site should start a pool to see who can make the most accurate prediction about exactly when the first conservative media personality will make the first suggestion urging that President Obama be impeached?  (I say it will be Bill O’Reilly on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:15 a.m. PST.)
 
One of W. C. Fields lines seems to cover the Republican Spruikers’ code of ethics:  “If a thing is worth having, it’s worth cheating for.”
 
Now, the disk jockey will (after hearing it at the Record Finder) play Johnny Cash’s recording “What Is Truth?” and we will make our escape.  Have a “and that’s  no lie” type week.

October 18, 2008

The Tattlesnake – McCain the Rudderless Old Fool Edition

“Man once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind.”
– Thomas Jefferson to James Smith, 1822.

“Across this country this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners…”
– John McCain, at a campaign rally on Oct. 8, 2008 in Bethlehem, PA.

McCain’s Freudian slip was not only a nod to those who still support him – frightened hoodwinked hostages of vacuous Republican fanfare, convenient for-profit warmongering, and obdurate personal delusion, traveling on the GOP Bridge to Nowhere in faith it’s still the Yellow Brick Road – but to his own status as the decrepit and pathetic protagonist of a Russian novel, a man who has abandoned every conservative principle he previously claimed to hold dear, and scrapped every ounce of honor or dignity he may have once had to embrace his former abusers and speak drivel he knows to be false; a prisoner of his burning ambition to be president that has become an ugly and embarrassing obsession.

It’s said McCain loves to shoot craps; unspoken is that he often loses. In August, his dwindling audiences yawning and his poll numbers shrinking, he gambled his campaign on an inexperienced first-time governor with a lean resume from a state with three electoral votes, hoping that one throw of the dice would put him in the lead. While it temporarily gave him a boost, his numbers had started sinking, contrary to the Pundits spin, even before the depth of the economic crisis became the Big Media daily news lead. Now Palin has passed the barrier into public punch line while McCain himself attracted snickering at his last debate performance from not only Democratic and independent voters, but even Republicans.

McCain, at the head of one of the most deceitful and detestable campaigns in living memory, has abased his honor and integrity to the point of promoting palpable falsehoods, from the pitiful Joe the Plumber fiction and the ACORN ‘vote fraud’ distraction, to peevishly ridiculing his opponent’s popularity, all the while defending his beauty pageant running mate’s lightweight experience and outright lies connecting his opponent to domestic terrorists, and bizarrely grinning at his effort. McPalin are not just an insult to what’s left of the nation’s intelligence, they are an insult to the history of civilization as well.

So dismal, debauched and hideous is the McCain-Palin monstrosity that even formerly staunch conservative outlets such as the Chicago Tribune, a Republican newspaper that has never supported a Democrat in its 161-year history, just endorsed Obama, along with conservative-icon William F. Buckley’s kid Christopher, and none other than Reagan debate coach George F. Will.

(more…)

October 7, 2008

Turns Out Palin’s Been Lying About This Too…

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 8:48 am

When I first heard Sarah Palin make the claim that she could “see Russia from her house” it sounded weird and, checking a map, seemed preposterous. Now, thanks to CNN, it’s been definitively proven an outright lie:

Sarah Palin Has Never Actually Seen Russia From Alaska
By Jed Lewison, Huffington Post
Posted on October 2, 2008

Just when you thought the whole “I can see Russia from Alaska” thing couldn’t get any funnier … CNN’s Gary Tuchman delivers the goods: it turns out that Sarah Palin has never seen Russia from Alaska.

Tuchman went up to the part of Alaska from which you can actually see Russia, a remote island called Little Diomede located just 2.4 miles from its Russian twin, Big Diomede.

It turns out Gary Tuchman’s trip to Little Diomede sets him apart from Sarah Palin — because she’s never actually been there, nor has she set eyes on its neighbor in Russia.

Here’s the video of Tuchman’s report: [see the Huff Post website]

(more…)

September 25, 2008

The Tattlesnake – October and Other McCain Surprises Edition

Or, St. John and His Cowardly Lyin’

“Presidents have to deal with more than one thing at a time.”
– Barack Obama, Sept. 23, 2008, as quoted by Business Week.

All politicians lie to some degree; it’s a gloomy fact of national politics in America, and the higher the office sought, the more likely and frequent the infractions of the truth.

Some self-servingly shade reality intermittently, others cross their fingers behind their backs and deliver the quasi-whopper occasionally, and then there are the full-out Nixonian scoundrels who’ll tell a lie at the drop of a hat in the ring.

John McCain, in his conduct since becoming the Republican nominee, has crossed the Nixon threshold of deceit, most recently by calling David Letterman at the last minute and telling him he couldn’t appear on his show September 24th because he had to urgently drop everything and fly to Washington to delve into the bailout crisis.

McCain’s prevarication to Letterman blew up in his face when the talk show host discovered McCain was still in New York City for many hours after that phone call; indeed, McCain was being interviewed by CBS’ Katie Couric not far from the theater where Letterman tapes his show and could easily have stopped in and kept his commitment to Letterman. As Dave said sarcastically, showing a live feed of McCain talking to Couric, “Need a ride to the airport, Senator?”

This is self-destructive blowback of the first order: Letterman reaches tens of millions of viewers across the land, many of them the politically semi-literate that McCain is trying to reach with his over-simplified messages of ‘maverick reformer,’ ‘reliable leader’ and comfortable ‘regular guy,’ and Letterman spent most of the show last night, including his notorious Top Ten list, savaging McCain for his absence, his suspension of his campaign, and asking the pointedly mocking question of why Palin couldn’t simply step in and take McCain’s place. He even had McCain’s harshest Big Media critic Keith Olbermann on to further pound the stake into the Republican candidate. Presidential campaigns in America are really won or lost in the comedy sketches of the late night TV hosts and viewers form their opinions of the candidates’ characters based on the kinds of jokes disseminated – by that measure, millions of late night TV viewers now know that McCain is a bald-faced liar; a treacherous old codpiece willing to deceive their trusted TV friend Dave. Hmmm, what else might he lie about as president? Not only was this a nuclear one-night hit, but McCain has now made a foe of David Letterman, an enmity that will carry on until the election – it could very well make the difference in November.

Something else that will make a difference, and also presents McCain as a perpetual dispenser of falsehoods and humbug, is his bizarre abandonment of his former friends in the Big Media and Punditrocracy. McCain’s campaign has lately made it a badge of honor to snub and treat with contempt the very same ‘Guys and Gals on the Bus’ who protectively guarded and excused McCain for his gaffes and deceptions in the past. Once heralded for his access to the media, now only pre-tested loyalists are invited to speak with the coddled candidate on his campaign jet, and the rest are shuttled off like cattle to stand behind a shield of sour-faced campaign staff. The turning of opinion amongst the press corps is growing obvious.

(more…)

June 16, 2008

Operation Saudi Freedom

Filed under: Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — Volt @ 6:58 pm

June 11, 2008

Rumors

Filed under: Toon — Tags: , , , , , — Volt @ 6:19 pm

May 29, 2008

Now McCllean Tells Us

Filed under: Toon — Tags: , , , , , , — Volt @ 7:00 am

« Newer Posts

Powered by WordPress