BartBlog

November 15, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Miller Shills for the Wasilla Chinchilla on Billo and Other Atrocities Edition

Plus a Weird Election 2008 Factoid and a Plea to the GOP

“In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.”
– H.L. Mencken

Gov. Snowjob said on Larry King Nov. 12th that there is nothing wrong with “calling people out” on their past associations, defending her lame McCarthyite attempts to link Obama to Bill Ayers and the Weather Underground. She added that she expected she would be called out on hers as well. Good. Let’s see, she’s openly palled around with and supported for reelection convicted felon Sen. Ted Stevens, corrupt ex-Governor of Alaska Frank Murkowski, and she’s married to a former member of the Alaska Independence Party, a group that despises and wants to secede from the United States. Imagine if Obama had strongly supported two crooks and his wife once belonged to an organization that hated America? C’mon, Big Media, time to apply some fairness here, and Sarah asked for it.

Speaking of Sarah the Terror: Miller and Palin, Sittin’ in a Tree:

“Listen, she’s a great dame. People are fascinated by her because the left hate her. I think the left hate her — mostly women on the left hate her, because to me, from outside in, it appears that she has a great sex life. All right? I think she has non-neurotic sex with that Todd Palin guy. I think most of the women on the Upper East Side, their husbands haven’t been aroused since Mailer signed copy [sic] of The Executioner’s Song at Rizzoli’s back in the early ’70s.
“So they look at her, and they hate her. I think that snowmobile looks like mechanized foreplay to me, and that’s why people are fascinated by it.”

Dennis Miller on “The O’Reilly Factor,” Fox News, Nov. 12, 2008.

I remember when Dennis had a functioning frontal lobe and was even occasionally clever, but years of drinking, drugs, chickenhawk fear, raging ego and his wiseguy notion that he’d just jump on the money train of what he thought would be generations of Republican rule softened his gray matter to the point where he’s defending a vacuous Alaska opportunist he once would have gleefully impaled with humor. BTW, I wonder what ‘non-neurotic sex’ is — the Moose Mama ‘Missionary Position’ (that would be a ‘rear mount’) or the opposite of whatever you call it when Miller picks up his paycheck these days?

My sympathies to the frustrated Mrs. Miller, if she’s still around – married to a goofball who thinks snowmobiles equate with foreplay can’t be a pleasant existence.

It’s was so bad even Billo took note of what had surfaced in his ‘No Spin Zone’ punchbowl:

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November 14, 2008

Republicans Trash The Economy, Again!

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Quote — Obi Zen Folksinger @ 7:59 pm

Republicans Trash The Economy, Again!

 

Republicans were in charge and caused the Panic of ’73.
Republicans were in charge and caused the Crash of ’29
Republicans were in charge and caused the S&L Collapse
The DotCom Bubble was predicted by every one but Intel
Phil Graham wrote just about every piece of legislation that has back-fired in this current crisis. McLame still holds his hand when they cry for the less fortunate. They cried for the poor homeowners and small investors when Lincoln Savings folded, too. Who would have guessed that the same opaque instruments would have folded in exactly the same way four different times across 135 years?
Sub-Prime Loans Under Republican Congress
    The economy got so bad that Neo-Cons are complaining that they couldn’t donate enough to save the GOP ’08 Campaign from defeat. Even the Republican Party itself was forced, in the final weeks of the campaign, to borrow an additional 5 Billion dollars from Goldman Sachs. Good thing that Paulson was able to provide those funds. I wonder what the RNC used for collateral? Sarah’s wardrobe?

Yet, the top 1% of these companies felt no impact from their actions, what so ever. Even the decision makes at Leaman Bros. got paid plus bonuses that were tied to performance. Well, they did perform. This happens every time, too. If the team at AIG is any standard to go by they don’t even understand that anything they did was wrong.

Anyone else see a pattern? If you look just at the result you might think that it was done on purpose. In fact, it looks like Wall Street was running with scissors and when the inevitable happened cried, “Uncle Sam, kiss it and make it better!” When asked where it hurt Wall Street pointed to it’s penis.

So, let me be the one to say, “Republicans trash the economy on purpose.”
Arrest their leadership and offer the membership amnesty tied to public service.
Impeach, convict and punish the profiteers.

 

Viva America!
Viva Obama!

November 13, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Obama Meets Junior in the White House Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 8:02 pm

Obama meets with Bush at White House
– MSNBC headline.

That was the headline last Monday, but few details of their private conversation in the Oval Office have leaked out, leaving a vacuum for the Tattlehead to fill with imaginary dialogue.

JUNIOR: “Well, now that we got that photo-op thingy done with, let’s have ourselves a sit down.”

OBAMA: “Good idea, Mr. President. I’d like to discuss the economy…”

JUNIOR: “Whoa! Let me straighten yuh out on two things here right fast: First of all, since you’re gonna be a president, too, it’s okay, you can call me ‘Dubya’ and I’ll call yuh, uhhh… ‘O-Man,’ okay?”

OBAMA: “Uh, sure, that’s fine…Dubya.”

JUNIOR: “Good. Now the second part there about the economy – see, I’m the decider, but I’m not the policymakin’ guy. You gotta talk to Baldy – I mean Treasury Secretary Paulson – or maybe that Ben Bohunk guy over at the Fed about the economic policy and whatnot. I just make the decisions around here.”

OBAMA: “Uh huh, I see, domestic issues aren’t your forte. Well, then, let’s talk about the situation in the Middle East.”

JUNIOR: “Heh, heh, negatory there, O-Man. Now that would be Old Sourpuss’s – I mean Vice President Cheney’s – department or one of the boys over to his office. See, when you’re president they just bring you stuff to sign and you ask ‘em, ‘Is this a good idea?’ and they tell you ‘Yup’ and then you sign it. Believe me, you’ll sleep easy that way, knowin’ you didn’t come up with no failin’ policy like that Iraq disaster – Cheney really screwed the pooch on that one, heh, heh. See, all a this crap’s complicated as hell an’ if you get bogged down in every detail, you won’t have time for nothin’ else.”

OBAMA: “I see. And that would probably apply to every other domestic or foreign policy question I might have as well, right?”

JUNIOR: “Bingo! Ask muh secretary an’ she’ll set yuh up with all the right folks to see if yuh wanta talk about all that borin’ stuff!”

OBAMA: “Well, Dubya, let’s talk about something else — what would you like to talk about?”

JUNIOR: “Well, I just got myself a new video golf game and Laura bought me this here fancy new Risk game. Heh, heh, lookit them little plastic soldiers and airplanes! You play Risk, O-Man?”

OBAMA: “Yes. In college.”

JUNIOR: “Sure is good preparation for the presidency, huh? You wanna play a game?”

OBAMA: “Don’t you think it might look a little unseemly – the president and the president-elect playing Risk in the Oval Office in a time of national economic crisis?”

JUNIOR: “What the hell do I care how it looks – I’m outta here in two months!”

OBAMA: “But, uh, there are only the two of us. How can you play two-man Risk?”

JUNIOR: “Ah, hell, most of the time I play with myself.”

OBAMA: “You mean you play Risk by yourself?”

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Sarah Palin = frontrunner

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bob Patterson @ 6:52 pm

Now that the 2008 Presidential election is over, it’s time for two new topics.  Who will be the first pundit to officially declare who is the Republican frontrunner and second:  who should be the recipient of that accolade.

 

Since Kurt Godel of the Institute for Advanced Studies has passed away, someone else will have to step up to the plate and volunteer.   

 

With that in mind, and knowing that the members of the Washington Press Corp don’t like to do any work, the World’s Laziest Journalist will volunteer to offer his services to actually do the necessary work.

 

The World’s Laziest Journalist will copyright these phrases:

Sarah Palin is the Republican frontrunner for 2012.ã

Sarah Palin, the 2012 frontrunner.ã

The Republican frontrunner for 2012 is Sarah Palin.ã

 . . . Sarah Palin, the 2012, Republican frontrunner . . .ã

Now, two years hence when the 2010 elections are history and the “one task at a time” national pundits turn their attention to the 2012 Presidential election they will discover that the work necessary to officially consecrate the frontrunner will have already been done for them and (tah-dah) they will also have to pay royalties for using those copyrighted phrases.

 

Sure there will be some market for stories and columns about what Bush might do in the next few weeks and some speculation about will Obama really embrace change or will he validate the French philosophy:  “The more things change, the more they remain the same,” but those two topics seem trite and hackneyed.  Why waste time.

 

When it is time, the Republicans will embrace Sarah Palin as the front runner because she will give them hope of returning to the winning conservative brand of Republican philosophy as personified by Ronald Reagan, and the Democrats will relish the thought of a battle with her because they consider her extremely vulnerable and susceptible to a resounding loss.

 

If the Republicans and the Democrats agree, then it will be up to the national pundits to manufacture a synthetic battle for the nomination in an effort to convince their budget minded editors that they are really worth the money they collect for relaying the information they find on blogs to their audience.

 

Copyrighting the most common phrases describing the anointing of Sarah Palin as the next Republican candidate for President will mean that they have to pay royalties, but they can just put that on their expense accounts and thus bypass the need to do any actual work to evaluate and select the most likely choice for the Republicans in 2012.

 

Now is the time to beat the others and start marketing T-shirts that embrace the official selection of the Alaskan Governor!  The national pundits can put their news organizations’ summer interns on that particular task and return to their favourite gin mill to continue their efforts to emulate the work ethics of William Boot (in the Evelyn Waugh novel “Scoop”).

 

Sarah Palin has said:  “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.”

Now, the disk jockey will play the Jefferson Airplane’s song “Sarah” and we’ll float off on pleasant memories of the Sixties.  Have a “surrealistic pillow” type week.

November 12, 2008

The Missing Photo

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 7:40 pm

mvc-029f.JPG

This photo should have been inseted into the column about Andy Warhol’s Promise.  It shows tourists climibing to the top of the Sydney Harbor Bridge.

(Why can’t you give an Irishman lunch?  It takes too long to re-train them.)

Andy Warhol’s Promise

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bob Patterson @ 7:33 pm

(Sydney NSW) November 13, 2008  Walking past the Macleay Bookshop in Sydney we noticed that a story in the New York Times had mentioned them so when we subsequently saw that they were having a party, we decided that it was time to cover the event for the Bartcop Blog.

http://www.macleaybookshop.com.au/

 

Talking to the folks in the bookstore that has been there since the Fifties, it seemed that:  “The World Is My Neighbourhood” would be a good title for a column about the event because folks in the store knew all about Los Angeles and the surrounding area.

 

One fellow said that his son has just opened a bookstore in L. A. and wanted me to plug the family bookstore

 

Another guy had favoured the Pico area in L. A.

 

Is everything in L. A. world famous?  Does a blogger from L. A. have a chance to become world famous?

 

When we got back to the hostel where we were staying we asked the folks from France and Germany if they had heard of Howard’s World Famous Avocado Burges on Venice Blvd., in L. A.  They hadn’t and asked if I had tried the world famous hotdogs sold by Harry’s on Wheels in Sydney.  Since I hadn’t a trip there was put next on the agenda.

http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2005/06/almost_famous-h.html

 

Americans in Sydney eventually find their way to Tomatillo on Darlinghurst Road because (for folks from L. A., at least) there comes a time when you need a fix of burrito and the Tomatillo fills that need perfectly.

http://tomatillo.com.au/site/

  

All this got us to thinking about the subject of fame.  Are all things American famous?  Why haven’t American music fans heard of the band Short Stack?  How easy is it to become a world famous blogger?  We had tried to show some of our new friends our columns and the World’s Laziest Journalist blog.  The columns on Bartcop were easy to find, but even I couldn’t easily find my own blog.

http://worldslaziestjournalist.wordpress.com/

 

After giving a well known Gertrude Stein quote, I had to explain to the younger hostel guests that she was a famous American.

 

Some sports figures in Austalia are national heroes, but since most Americans don’t follow Australian rugby, their names would not be familiar to people in the states.

 

Andy Warhol said that someday everyone would be world famous for 15 minutes.  I’m getting along in years and so it’s time for him to make good on his promise for me (and my blog!)

 

Now, that bloggers have alerted the world and the other media, that President Bush wasn’t the ideal example of a statesman and leader that was offered in the Election ads, will the media biggies (like angry vultures) come along and claim all the credit for exposing Bush as a war criminal and greedy capitalist?

 

If a photographer works hard and gets great images, the ones that people admire most are the ones with celebrities in them.  Does that mean that “celebrity” is a commodity?  Is it tangible?  Can it be shared like in the parable of the fishes and loaves?  

 

Bush is on the way out.  It’s too early to criticize President Obama.  Andy Warhol seems to be welching on his promise.

 

Would anyone like to see pictures taken from the “Pylon” on the Sydney Harbor Bridge?  People pay $200 Australian to climb to the top of the Bridge, but you can’t take your camera with you.  There is no such restriction on the people who go to the Pylon observation deck.

 

Who wants to read a column about the cuts states and cities in the U. S. will have to make in their annual budgets (and the looming necessary cuts in services)?

 

We’ll do some “fact checking” on the incredible shrinking budgets that politicians will be forced to face in the next fiscal year and, in the meantime, try to post a touristy picture from Sydney.

 

Andy Warhol said “In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.”

 

Now, the disk jockey will play David Bowie’s “Fame,” and we’ll head for the nearest red carpet.  (The premier of “Australia” will be held next Tuesday in Sydney.)  Have a week that makes you famous but not infamous.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=qpOlaLTXP4E

WMD found

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 5:09 pm

Turns out the video was spot-on.

Ticking

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 5:09 pm

When I have actual, you know, powers?

A big shout-out

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 5:08 pm

Can we all send a thank-you card to Bush?

Emergency Call

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 5:08 pm

quick-way.jpg

Madness, I tell you!

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 5:08 pm

Freedom?

Be Back Soon

Filed under: Toon — Peregrin @ 5:07 pm

We apologize for the inconvenience.

11/11

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: — Obi Zen Folksinger @ 12:30 am

On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month peace was declared in the war to end all wars. The fields of poppies that bloomed around the sites of the field hospitals became an enduring emblem of the sacrifice of all who serve their country in time of war. That peace was quickly undermined by greed and lust for revenge. The next war was more destructive and ended with a fresh set of battle lines and ready made enemies.

After Vietnam we built the wall to show that we cared that our brothers and sons were lost. There was nothing glorious about that conflict that would evoke any image as strong as the names of the fallen. A decade of destruction and corruption had shattered a once proud force and impoverished a nation. Only the munitions builders prospered.

The leaking of the Pentagon Papers by Daniel Ellsberg did not stop another five years of killing. No one ever went to jail for subverting the American plan of battle to needlessly extend  a war just to make money. We know now that the Tonkin Gulf Incident never happened. No one was ever help accountable.

In the last 125 years America has destroyed and undermined more democracies that we have created. From Haiti to China, Iran to Argentina, American foreign policies have stopped the progress of representative democracy and replaced it with the worst forms of repressive totalitarianism.

After seven years of Neo-Con attempts at world domination we find a force broken and a nation impoverished. Veteran suicide rates are 400% of peace time rates and twice Vietnam era rates. One in three female service members will be sexually assaulted by a member of their own unit. 60% of our homeless population are Vets.  Pentecostal Fundamentalist Christians have a national crusade to gain control of the military ranks.  Fox news anchors laughed at “Purple Heart Band-aids” as a great demonstration of humor.

Not one single reason for going to war in Iraq turned out to be true.

Nothing is more sacred than service to ones country.

Nothing is more profane than to subvert that service to any other purpose.

At least the Army trains you for a career.

Last Jew

November 11, 2008

Bartcop and Bartblog Music

Filed under: Music Review — N @ 10:39 am

Welcome to the new music postings for Bartcop. I had hoped to start with something really cool like a soundtrack for the recent election of Barak Obama but I encountered one problem. I am less interested in my own selections and more interested in what the rest of Bart’s readers had in mind when then watched history happen last week.

So here is the challenge. Let’s kick off the new music stuff with your soundtrack for the Obama victory last Tuesday night. For those who maybe favored the other candidates that’s cool too. You share what a soundtrack to a lost election sounds like. Try to keep your soundtrack to 10 songs or so and you can leave them as comments or send them to n-music-critic@live.com.( Sorry just fixed the email address.) I will take em’ and post them.

I am also interested in know about your own music scenes where you live so if you tip me off I will give it some play. Music is for everyone.

Thanks for joining me in bringing everyone’s music to everyone else.

N

The Tattlesnake – Dirty Dozen Political Quiz Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 7:10 am

Think you were paying attention during the long 2008 election campaign? Grab a pen and paper and take the test below (and no cheating with the Google):

1. Hillary Clinton used it and lost. John McCain used it and lost. What was it?

2. Did John McCain actually have any casual, free-for-all talks with reporters on his ‘Straight Talk’ campaign jet as he did on his bus?

3. Obama confessed during the campaign to loving two white women in his life. Who were they?

4. According to news reports, what was McCain’s favorite breakfast?

5. Who said “there is absolutely no diva in me”?

a. Hillary Clinton
b. Sarah Palin
c. Michelle Obama
d. Cindy McCain

6. After Obama’s landslide, which famous former broadcast network anchorman continued to declare this was a ‘center-right’ country?

7. Which McCain campaign aide told the media that they wouldn’t be allowed to interview Sarah Palin unless they were properly respectful?

8. What special award did Sarah Palin win at the Miss Alaska beauty contest?

9. What did Obama promise his two daughters he’d do if he became president?

10. From the items below, pick one that wasn’t an issue for Sarah Palin in the 2008 campaign:

a. Misusing her state expense account.
b. Abusing her power in attempting to fire a state trooper.
c. Overspending her McCain campaign clothing allowance.
d. Visiting a remote Aleutian island to ‘see Russia.’
e. Her involvement with the secessionist Alaska Independence Party.
f. Insulting members of the Alaska legislature on a radio show.
g. The crazy pastor at her Wasilla church.
h. Her close friendship with corrupt Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.
i. The ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ that she accepted federal money to build.
j. Campaigning for the Reform Party presidential candidate in the 2000 election.

11. Was Sarah Palin ever asked by the media what the initials NAFTA stood for, or to name any countries in Africa?

12. Who said in April 2008: “I’m as healthy as the economy”?

a. John McCain
b. George W. Bush
c. Henry Paulson
d. Joe Biden
e. Alan Greenspan
f. Rush Limbaugh

Answers below the fold.

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Happy birthday, Barbara Boxer

Filed under: Quote — Peregrin @ 6:37 am

Barbara Boxer

 Born 11/11/1940

When service members are discharged, we should express our gratitude for their profound personal sacrifice, not hand them a bill for their hospital food.

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