January 23, 2012

Rebels, Outlaws, and Occupy Protesters vs. Republicans?

Filed under: Commentary — Tags: , , , — Bob Patterson @ 9:21 pm

Is it worth the effort to write a column that ties together the W. C. Fields slogan “Never Give a Sucker an even Break,” Ross Thomas’ book title “The Fools in Town Are on our Side,” and the old locker room adage “my wife’s married; but I’m not” and present something that will amuse the hardcore Fox Views audience who believe that they are people with inquiring minds who won’t get fooled again?

So which of the Republicans are the Foxkrieg troops going to embrace this year? Will it be the Rich guy who made millions liquidating American businesses while trying to palm himself off as a Woody Guthrie-ish man of the streets? (Why didn’t he just say “I’m the Wall Street guy”?) Will it be the studly family values = open marriage guy? Will it be Rick “say hello to my little friend” Santorum?

Aren’t contemporary efforts to assess the Republican scramble to select a 2012 Presidential Candidate similar to trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle while participating in the stampede to depart from a sinking ship that has sounded the abandon ship alarm? It is an impossible task so the pundits should embrace the insanity.

Is America ready to do a mind melt with Rupert Murdoch and select soccer as the official American pastime? If anyone can turn soccer hooliganism into a display of American patriotism, surely it will be the Fox analysts, eh? Isn’t Superbowl Sunday going to start with a Manchester United match? Wow! Will all the Tottenham Hotspurs fans tune in to see the Manchester boys get their noses bloodied (figuratively speaking, of course!)?

Have any of the news organizations done an update on the brain cancer victim who was sent to the hospital for daring to root for an out-of-town team at a Hockey match recently?

Don’t sports fans believe in “One sport – One Team – One star player”?

Can’t we all get along and subscribe to a philosophy that asserts “One CEO!” as a (metaphorically speaking) way of supporting whoever gets elected President in November? The Republicans all agree that the Democrats should think that way.

Don’t the skeptics who get so upset with the Occupy Movement urge the protesters to get a job because work will set them free? BFH! (Isn’t that the Brit-texting way of saying Bloody Far-out Hell!”?)

Only Democrats see a contradiction in continuing the foreclosure trend and then telling the homeless families that they can’t sleep in tents in public parks and they can’t stay in abandoned office buildings either. Duh! Ya can’t create jobs in office buildings that have become de facto slum tenements. They have to be ready to house new businesses when the Republicans use the electronic voting machines (with unverifiable results) to replace the incumbent President.

If a Republican is elected President won’t he, like George W. Bush did previously, take military spending off the national budget’s balance sheet and then “abracadabra!” quick as a flash, there will be no deficit and the road to recovery will be smooth sailing for the rest of his term.

To hear the Democrats tell it, if George W. Romney gets elected, he will liquidate the New Deal as fast as possible. Duh, again! If the Republicans scrap the Social Security Program, there won’t be any need to tax the rich, eh?

The Democrats worship Obama to an uncomfortable degree. Isn’t it time to send Willard up there to replace him in the White House? BFH! Are Obama’s methods unsound? Ask some Republicans and they (and their subservient old ladies) will tell you: “I don’t see any method at all!”

What’s the difference between a punk, a rebel (with or without a cause), an outlaw, a rocker, a soccer hooligan, and an Occupy protester?

If there is no difference why don’t some punk rockers, rebels and outlaws hold a benefit concert to raise funds to buy foreclosed buildings to house the tent cities protesters? Do they think that if they raise the money, the banks won’t sell them the abandoned unused office buildings?

A lot of musicians have made a considerable amount of money posing as punks, rebels, and outlaws. If they are going to talk the talk, shouldn’t they be willing to walk the walk?

The Rolling Stones band once made headlines in Great Britain by proclaiming: “We’re the Rolling Stones; we piss anywhere.” Was that a sneak preview of the Occupy Movement? All they gotta do is play one benefit concert, one time and then the Occupy Posse will have enough money to buy foreclosed office buildings in (guessing) twenty five strategic cities?

Have the boys from Altamont suddenly become The Rolling Stones Inc.?

When the Rolling Stones got into some legal troubles (over a closed men’s room?) in Great Britain, the Who went into a studio and cut a cover of a Rolling Stones song as a show of solidarity. (We’ve seen a copy of the record in Dr. Demento’s private collection.)

Back in the day, the Stones had a legal obligation to deliver an album and so they did. Unfortunately, the material they delivered was unsuitable to their corporate masters and so the project was shelved. The name of the album can’t be printed in a family newspaper. Try a Google search for the “Rolling Stones” and “contractual obligation album,” if you want to find the name the band suggested.

Jerry Lee Lewis had one song with a line that asked “How much would you pay to hear a living legend sing?”

Is it true that Guns ‘n’ Roses, who opened for the Rolling Stones during the Steel Wheels tour, will be inducted into the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame this year? Who recorded the song “Time slips away”? Or was it titled “Where Does the Time go?”?

How much money could a benefit concert raise if the lineup featured (hypothetically speaking) Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, the Who, the Kinks, and Furthur (the band formerly known as The Grateful Dead)? This columnist paid $8 plus change for a ticket to see the Rolling Stones in Anaheim in 1978 (or so); concert tickets would probably cost more these days. (Just guessing.)

[Note: the World’s Laziest Journalist assumes that if a band didn’t play a gig before January 1, 1970, it is too new and untried to merit serious consideration – although the guys with the band called “U2” are showing some promise.]

Good conservative musicians don’t seem to hesitate when Sean Hannity puts out an invitation to play an annual benefit concert to help the Marines. What up with all the rock musicians who make sizable fortunes singing about the salt of the earth and working man’s blues? Can they get their accountants to grant them permission to play just one Occupy Aid type concert gratis?

The Republican debates are getting the Republican viewpoint out to the public. Why aren’t the Democrats having debates during the primary season? Are they subscribing to the “No dissention” among the ranks philosophy these days?

No concert. No debates. No hoopla? How do they expect to win in November?

President Nixon, President Reagan, and President George W. Bush all seemed to intuitively know the wisdom of W. C. Fields’ advice about a second term: “If a thing’s worth having; it’s worth cheating for.” The last two Democratic Presidents elected to two full terms in office were Bill Clinton and FDR.

Now the disk jockey will play the Cowsills’ “We Can Fly,” Them’s “Here Comes the Night,” and the Zombies’ “Is This the Dream?” We have to go see what’s happening with Occupy Oakland. Have a “Feeling Groovy” type week.

March 13, 2011

A ‘Newtron’ Bomb For Gingrich?


December 28, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Why the GOP Hates ACORN and the Poor Edition

Remember those ACORN-office videos that a right-wing ringer named James O’Keefe, posing as a pimp, surreptitiously taped with Hannah Giles, a young woman pretending to be his prostitute, that were a media kerfluffle a few months back?


Watching them gave me a familiar feeling – it was the same feeling I had back in 2003 when glowering TV Doctor Colin Powell, performing at the U.N. Club in New York, shook a vial of white powder in front of the camera and claimed it was Saddam’s Very Own Anthrax. The feeling only increased when ‘Dr.’ Powell produced artist’s renderings of super-secret Iraqi chemical-labs-on-wheels, views that we apparently couldn’t catch photographically from sophisticated spy satellites or aerial reconnaisance overflights because – well, he never actually said why.

This feeling, as close as I can come to describing it, is akin to doing Houdini’s Chinese Water Torture trick, wherein the master magician was suspended upside-down in a glass-paneled cabinet filled to the top with water — only instead of water, imagine horse manure.

The Tattler was wincing with disgust while laughing as I watched geeky white boy O’Keefe, dressed for all the world like Sonny Bono when he had Cher, babe, trying to pass himself off as Mr. Bad Ass Pimp to a collection of black women from the ‘Hood who had doubtless seen the real thing at sometime in their lives – it was like casting Wally Cox as Don Vito Corleone: “Gee whillikers, we’ll make ‘em an offer they won’t get mad at and refuse!”

Hannah didn’t play her role much better – she was dumb enough, but a little too clean and preppy – but hers wasn’t the important role.

The college-educated ofay voice of O’Keefe, in the same tone as a census-taker, earnestly asking for help to avoid paying his pimp taxes and advice in running a brothel with underage girls rightfully had the ACORN women stifling grins. This was a surreal spectacle that only a teabagger could swallow whole without gagging on the absurdity.

Well, a teabagger, our vacuous illiberal media, and the growing crop of space cadets in our Congress.

It was expected that the GOP would indulge in their usual over-popped level of fake moral outrage – they paid for the video, after all — and the pundits live off their crumbs, but couldn’t we have had at least one Democrat call ‘bullshit’ on this silly nonsense? No one but a halfwit would believe this skinny white boy wearing his mother’s old chinchilla coat is actually a pimp, and anybody who’s been around a city block more than once knows it. But the risible sight of O’Keefe in his cartoon pimp outfit is instructive, both as to the contempt with which the corporate Republican elite hold the public, and to their knee-shaking fear of the extension of democracy and equality to people without money.

The Republican Party’s fringe-right wingnuts, excuse me for repeating myself, have long had a bitter grudge against ACORN, the community service group that registers voters and helps poor people. Why? Because, to put it simply, the GOP hates the poor, even though they work diligently to produce more of them to reward their corporate backers with a large pool of ever-cheaper labor. This is filtered through several levels of the corporate Republican psyche:


June 18, 2009

Ensign Resign? Keep Dreaming!


“Last year I had an affair. I violated the vows of my marriage. It is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it.”
– Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) on June 16, 2009, as quoted by the AP. “Sen Ensign Admits Affair with Ex-Campaign Staffer

“Our families were close … That closeness put me into situations which led to my inappropriate behavior. We caused deep pain to both families and for that I am sorry.”
– Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) on June 16, 2009, as quoted by the AP.
Ex-Campaign Aide to Sen. Ensign Confirms Affair

“A born-again Christian, Ensign has been a member of the Promise Keepers, a male evangelical group that promotes marital fidelity.”
– Manu Raju, et al, “Admission clouds Nevada Sen. John Ensign’s future,”, June 16, 2009.

“There’s too many people that paint with a broad brush that we’re all corrupt, we’re all amoral…And having these kinds of things happen, whether it’s a Republican or Democratic senator — we certainly have had plenty of Democratic scandals in the past — we need people who are in office who will hold themselves to a little higher standard.”
– Sen. John Ensign, as quoted by CNN’s Political Ticker, Oct. 18, 2007.

“This is a personal situation and I hope he gets it resolved.”
– Sen Lindsey Graham (R-SC) on Ensign’s affair, as quoted at [Graham wasn't quite as generous to Bill Clinton.]

“I’m pulling for him.”
– Sen. Harry Reid (D-Idiot) on Ensign’s adultery, forgetting what team he’s supposed to be playing on, as quoted at


January 10, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Presidential Meeting at the White House Edition

On January 7, 2009, the four living US presidents and President-Elect Barack Obama met for lunch at the White House. Details of their private conversation have been kept from the media but, thanks to a Tattler fly on the wall, the details can now be revealed.

Scene: George W. Bush (JUNIOR), his father George H.W. Bush (POPPY), Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama in the Oval Office.

JUNIOR: “Let’s all take a load off an’ get this here thing started.”

[Everyone sits down.]

OBAMA: “First, I’d like to ask you all for your opinions on the crisis in the Gaza –”

JUNIOR: “Whoa, doggies, there, pard’ner. I’m still the president here so I get to do the decidin’ of whut goes first where.”

OBAMA: “Of course, Mr. President. What topic would you like to address first?”

JUNIOR: “Uh, I dunno – hey, since muh Daddy’s here, why don’t we talk about pussy?”

POPPY: “Arrrhhhh, har, har, har, har, arrrhhhh, uuuhhhh.”

OBAMA: “Pussy?”

CARTER: “Oh, my God.”

CLINTON: “Sweet Jesus on a pogo stick.”

JUNIOR: “Yeah, ah think thass a real good topic for conversatin’ over. Hey, Bill, show us whut happened with that Lew-in-sky girl in here.”

POPPY: “Arrrhhhh, har, har, har, har, arrrhhhh, uuuhhhh.”

CLINTON: “George, you know I’m not gonna talk about that.”

OBAMA: “Excuse me, Mr. President, but I asked for this meeting to get your perspectives on some of the pressing issues of our time.”

JUNIOR: “Take th’ stick outta yore butt, Bar-rack! Presidentin’ is easy – all you do is sign yore name where they tell yuh tuh sign it, say whut they tell ya’ tuh say, and pose pretty for th’ pictures. Oh, yeah, an’ yuh gotta main-tain the dignity of the office. Ain’t that right, Daddy?”

POPPY: “Arrrhhhh, har, har, har, har, arrrhhhh, uuuhhhh.”

CLINTON: “That’s what’s known as the ‘Bush Doctrine,’ I believe.”

JUNIOR: “I sleep like a baby ever night ’cause I don’t let things get tuh me by thinkin’ about ‘em too much. Thass the key to successful presidentin’!”

CLINTON: “We aren’t going to accomplish much here. We’ll talk later in private, Barack.”

OBAMA: “I think you’re right, Bill.”

CARTER: “Let’s pose for the photo-op and get the hell out of here.”

OBAMA: “Can we have the photographers in now?”

JUNIOR: “Yuh mean we ain’t gonna talk about pussy?”

POPPY: “Arrrhhhh, har, har, har, har, arrrhhhh, uuuhhhh.”

(Photographers enter; the end.)

January 8, 2009

The Tattlesnake –The Media Blago Jewell Show, Say It Ain’t So, Joe, and Other Low Blows Edition

Remember Richard Jewell? Back in 1996 he was the poor schlub who was convicted by the Big Media as the Atlanta Centennial Olympic Park bomber, based on a leaked story and innumerable FBI agents and other law enforcement experts appearing on TV practically guaranteeing the public that Jewell, by dint of proximity, false information from a former employer, and fitting an FBI ‘profile’ of lonely demented maniacs seeking heroic status, was the man who did it. They had everything but the formality of a conviction in a court of law. I recall several of our fellow citizens so outraged at the time over Jewell that they gladly would have stuck his chubby body on a spit and slow-roasted him to death. After all, everybody – the media, the punditry, the FBI, the guy tending bar –- KNEW he was guilty — he killed and maimed innocent people! — so why bother with a trial? Then the facts began to trickle out; the former employer had invented the disparaging remarks about Jewell’s character; the vaunted FBI ‘lone bomber’ profile – well, it was really just sheer speculation, after all. All the ‘proof of guilt’ left was that Jewell was in the area when the bomb exploded, along with hundreds of other people. The case was dropped due to lack of evidence and, finally, in 2005, the real perpetrator of the tragedy confessed – none other than Christopublican nutcase Eric Rudolph, who had made his name blowing up abortion clinics and gay bars because he believed that life was sacred. Jewell, who died in 2007 at age 44, sued for libel without complete success, and he never really got his reputation back – even an apology from AG Janet Reno didn’t help that. For those who need some help connecting the dots: These days, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has been convicted by the Big Media based on the allegations of one man, Patrick Fitzgerald, with no independent evidence that he has done anything wrong. Everyone – the pundits, Democrats, the public, late-night comics – just KNOW Blago is guilty – why even bother with a trial? Yet, Fitzgerald needed, and received, an extension until April to bring indictments against Blago, whom he claimed was on a veritable ‘crime spree.’ In other words, he made a public announcement of sure guilt, and now he can’t even present a case to an indict-a-ham-sandwich grand jury? Something stinks here.

I’m not saying Blago is innocent; he might be the most corrupt politician since Boss Tweed for all I know, but it has to be proven in a court of law, not by prosecutorial press conferences nor the error-ridden scandalmongers of our national media. (These are, after all, the same solons who sold us on the Iraq disaster.) Note: Whenever you see this ‘convicted by the media’ shark-feeding in progress, just remember Richard Jewell.

See How They Roll: In a related item of Big Media heavy breathing over a scandal that wasn’t, let’s travel back through the mists of the past — or the ‘Clean Air’ pollution, if you will — to January of 2001 and the Bush Leaguers entering the White House. Remember the Big Scandal of the time was that departing Clinton staffers had trashed the place and pried up the ‘W’ on nearly every computer keyboard? Oh the moaning and groaning of the Right-Wing Wurlitzer and their stenographer pals in the White House Press Gang over how classless and horrible were the Clintonistas – why would they do something so childish and awful? Well, that was until the truth emerged – funny story, it was actually the Bushites who had quietly pushed the phony vandalism story to smear Bill Clinton and there was nothing more than normal office wear-and-tear left behind by his staff. Ha, ha. If you’re wondering why Obama and his family have been denied access to The Blair House, the traditional residence of soon-to-be-inaugurated presidents, even though it was empty until the Bushers hastily scheduled a one-night stopover for former Australia PM John Howard, here’s the proof that, not only is Junior the worst president we’ve ever had, but also the most peevish and vindictive. (Clinton left the presidency with a high approval rating, and Obama is entering it with a 70-some percent favorable rating and after winning a larger number of votes both electoral and popular than did Junior.) Incidentally, the Obama’s have been forced to stay at the Hay-Adams Hotel until January 15th, which is costing the taxpayers much more in security than if they had been living at The Blair. But, hey, who cares about the ‘little people’s’ money when it comes to pointlessly snubbing the democratically-elected president of the other party.

Laugh-A-Bull You Can’t Make Up: I know I promised never to mention him again, but this is too good: Joe the Plumber’s Helper, AKA Samuel Wurzelbacher of Lower Dipstick, Ohio, has stuck his unlicensed plunger back into the news stream as it was announced recently that he would be the new mighty-rightie Pajamas Media correspondent on – sit down and swallow that hot beverage – the Middle East! He even handed down this nugget of wisdom to a CNN affiliate on his assignment to Israel, “Being a Christian I’m pretty well protected by God I believe. That’s not saying he’s going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance.” Perfecto! That’s just the kind of open-minded attitude we need in journalists providing information from that volatile region. Kudos to Pajamas Media for trying to burnish its credibility – or satirical value, anyway. (Hey, maybe Bob the Builder could be tapped to report on the housing market, or Thomas the Tank Engine on transportation? The possibilities are endless.)

Laugh-A-Bull the Deuce: Lady Laura Bird Bush just unveiled a new set of White House china that the incoming Obama family may or may not like. The set cost nearly a half-million bucks ($492,798 for 320 14-piece place settings) and, in these times when much of Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Heading-For-The-Poorhouse are eating uncooked Spam off of paper plates, seems a tad excessive. True, it was financed by private funds, and it’s American made, but still — hasn’t anybody told clueless Laura we’re in the most serious financial crisis since the Great Depression? “These plates are perfect for cake, if you can’t afford bread.”

Laugh-A-Pitbull: Finally, according to some outfit called Veterinary Pet Insurance, the most popular dog name in 2008 was ‘Max,’ and it was the most popular name for a cat, as well. The company’s employees also picked the most unusual pet names for 2008 (read the full list here); topping the list for cats, ‘Edward Scissorpaws’ (although I liked No. 4 ‘Buddha Pest’ better), and for dogs, ‘Rush Limbark.’

December 4, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Was Wrong Edition

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
– Mark Twain

In previous editions of The Tattler, some drunken idiot wrote piffle such as:

“Well, it’s three days after Thanksgiving and Hillary Clinton has still not been named as Obama’s Secretary of State. I just don’t think it’s going to happen.”

Well, it did happen, last Monday, and, I confess, the drunken idiot was staring back at me from the mirror this morning. (I am now hunched into a Basil Fawlty ball, hopping around with my head between my hands in disgust with myself.)

In another edition of The Tattler posted here November 18, 2008, “The Tattlesnake – Big Media Hillary Silly Season in Full Swing Edition,” I hilariously typed:

“Lost in most of their [the Big Media] circuitous gossip is any sort of common-sense analysis: Why would Hillary give up her powerful senate seat, and an excellent chance to be Senate Majority Leader, to serve as a peripatetic foreign service factotum in Obama’s government? The appointment would also proscribe her from criticizing him should things go sour, thereby tainting her bid for the 2012 nomination. Quick, name the last five Secretaries of State before Condi and look at what has happened to them. I think it’s fair to say the energetic Sen. Clinton doesn’t desire to live out her days lounging in academia, playing golf, or filling space on the board of some think tank or corporation, publishing occasional knotted-brow op-ed pieces in The New York Times.”

Those were, I felt, valid questions IF Sen. Clinton wanted to be president some day but, since then, I’ve checked with an Anonymous Source Close to the Obama Camp (just like the Mighty NYT!) and gathered some exclusive background that changes the picture considerably.

First off, my A.S.C.O.C. says Hillary doesn’t desire the presidency any longer. She allegedly feels that 2008 was her best shot and she hates ‘mass-market’ retail campaigning. (Hubby Bill is the political animal who loves that glad-handing stuff.) Although she likes talking to people in small groups, the speaking to large gatherings, the endless traveling, the repeated stump speeches, and the sheer exhaustion of running for president turned the fire in her belly into a bad case of dyspepsia that she never wants to experience again.

Secondly, while she liked the Senate, her ability to work on the issues that most animated her — health care, economic justice and children’s rights — was limited, and she supposedly got The Word: even with her national celebrity, there would be no jumping ahead in line – the junior senator from New York would have to wait her turn to become Majority Leader and that could take decades. (Even NY colleague Chuck Schumer is ahead of her in seniority.) Aside from that, the appointment as SoS relieved her of having to campaign for office again, and she and Obama have actually become friends since the summer and work well together. She’s willing to respect his office and policies, so there should be no conflict there, and she’s a popular figure overseas. Her keen intelligence and ability to quickly process new information are a relief to foreign leaders accustomed to dealing with the Bush-bedazzled Condi Rice.


August 28, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Desultory Dem Convention Notes, D-Day Plus 3 Edition

And Some Free Advice for the Obama Camp (Oh Boy!)

“We don’t need four more years of the last eight years.”
– Hillary Clinton, speaking at the Dem convention in Denver, Aug. 26, 2008.

I confess I haven’t watched every minute of the Denver convention, but I saw most of the major events, and here are a few brief notes:

Where’s the Outrage? In their speeches, Joe Biden, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and even four-years-late-and-a-dollar-short John Kerry (why didn’t he talk like this in 2004?) all admirably piled it on McCain and Bush nice and thick, and came thisclose to the threshold of outrage, but then inexplicably backed off. Did some Peter Hart focus group tell the Dems that independent voters don’t like to see anger and outrage? Bury that guff with your souvenir can of New Coke and the reams of polling data that claim voters dislike negative ads – maybe they do, but they work. One of the consistent complaints I’ve been hearing from the Great Unpolled on the Ground since 2000 is that the Dems don’t seem to really believe in anything because they don’t show emotion and get mad occasionally. (Check Kerry’s reaction to the Swift Boat smears during the last election for a perfect example of what I mean — he should have been livid and roaring in anger at their lies; instead, he went senatorial-serious and ‘disappointed.’ It wasn’t the charges themselves but Kerry’s tepid reaction that some vets have told me caused them to question his suitability for the presidency.) Republicans routinely contort themselves into a lather over all sorts of petty political effluvia such as prayer in schools, yet Dems can’t muster up some good old-fashioned outraged indignation against the party that, in eight years, has gotten thousands of Americans killed or sentenced to a life missing body parts in a war that was based on lies? That let Americans die in the flooded streets of New Orleans and still hasn’t provided adequate help to the survivors? That has failed to competently run any department of the government? That has ignored our Constitution? That has presided over the worst economy since the Great Depression? That has transferred our tax dollars into payoffs to corrupt and sleazy corporations via ‘cost-plus’ contracts? That refuses to do anything about rising gas prices? I could go on, but you get my drift. Isn’t any of this worth some real, live, Old Testament, pound the podium, call ‘em outside, ‘WTF is wrong with these Republicans’ outrage? This is not to say that anyone has to actually foam at the mouth, but how about some convincing anger tinting those condemnations of Bush, Cheney and McCain? I know this isn’t Obama’s style – although I hope he goes ‘Full Denzel’ on McDuffer in the debates — but I expected a little more of Biden. Perhaps that’s coming. It better be, or it’s going to be a long election night with a bad ending.

Missing in Action – any mention that if The Surge has worked in Iraq, then we have won and should be able to leave immediately. Why not apply this logic to McCain’s demands that Obama admit The Surge worked?


July 6, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Drowning Down at the Old Rumor Mill Again Edition

From Everybody’s Favorite: Various Possibly Reliable Sources Who Wish to Remain Anonymous:

– China has already given the back-channel ultimatum to the Bushites – attack Iran and interrupt the flow of Iranian oil vital to the Asian nation’s economy and China will interrupt their loans and imports to the US, causing the American markets to crash even further and faster. The question is: will the mad Bush-Cheney neocons, drooling over an assault on Persia before Junior leaves office, pay attention?

– It’s a done deal: Bill Clinton has allegedly started secretly raising money for a run at the New York Governorship in 2010. Not only is Big Dog tired of campaigning for other people, he also sorely misses having political power. And he wouldn’t mind a spot in the record books as the first president to also be elected governor of two different states, one prior to the presidency and one after.


June 6, 2008

Hillary and Obama Meet Privately in Washington D.C.

The Associated Press, June 5, 2008

WASHINGTON – Hillary Rodham Clinton met late Thursday with Barack Obama, a day after saying she would end her quest for the Democratic nomination and endorse the Illinois senator.

A senior Obama campaign official confirmed that Obama delayed his departure from Washington Thursday night to meet with Clinton at her home here.

Earlier, Clinton had disavowed efforts by some supporters who have urged Obama to choose her as his running mate.

“She is not seeking the vice presidency, and no one speaks for her but her,” communications director Howard Wolfson said. “The choice here is Senator Obama’s and his alone.”

Clinton was planning an event in Washington Saturday to thank supporters and urge them to back Obama’s candidacy. But as she was bowing out of the race, supporters in Congress and elsewhere were ramping up a campaign to pressure him to put her on the ticket in the No. 2 spot.

Read More Here

April 19, 2008

Frank Herbert: The Democrats’ Road Map to Defeat

Frank Herbert, The New York Times, April 19, 2008

The Democrats are doing everything they can to blow this presidential election. This is a skill that comes naturally to the party. There is no such thing as a can’t-miss year for the Democrats. They are truly gifted at finding ways to lose.

Jimmy Carter managed to win the White House in 1976 by looking pious and riding a wave of anti-Watergate revulsion. After four hapless years, he dutifully handed the keys back to the G.O.P.

Bill Clinton tried hard to lose, with sex scandals and whatnot, during the 1992 campaign. But Ross Perot wouldn’t let him. Mr. Clinton won with a piddling 43 percent of the vote. For eight years, Mr. Clinton tried to throw the presidency away (with sex scandals and whatnot), but he was never able to succeed.

That’s been it for the party for the past 40 years. The Democrats have become so psychologically battered by these many decades in the leadership wilderness that they consider the Clinton years, during which the president was impeached and they lost control of both houses of Congress, to have been a period of triumph.

Now comes 2008, a can’t-lose year if there ever was one. A united Democratic Party should be able to win this election in a walk. The economy is terrible and getting worse. The Republicans are demoralized. John McCain is no J.F.K. And the country wants to elect a Democrat.

Read More Here

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