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September 30, 2008

The Tattlesnake – McCain Failin’ ’08 Edition

Or, The Rake and Raquel Drop Down the Well

You Can’t Make This Up: Sarah Palin blows the two interviews she has with CBS’ Katie Couric, so she comes back for a rematch bringing her Grandpa John to help out. In-frigging-credible. Palin already looks lame, so you make her appear even lamer by sticking McCain in there for another sit-down with Katie? Whose idea was it to put that on the air? Is Grandpa going to go onstage and hold her hand during Thursday’s debate with Biden, too?

McCain also invoked what was perhaps one of the dumber ripostes in a campaign festooned with them when he accused an average voter, asking a question of Palin about attacking terrorist camps in Pakistan, of playing the ‘Gotcha’ game. So now asking St. Sarah about anything to which she gives the wrong answer is playing ‘Gotcha’? Should be an interesting debate Thursday – “Uh, that question you just asked me about borrowing money from China is a ‘Gotcha’ question and I don’t answer ‘Gotcha’ questions, sir.”

Latest Big Media Euphemisms for McCain’s Lies and Flip-Flops, collected over the past couple of weeks from various sources: “His position has evolved,” “He’s finding a new mechanism to present his case,” “He’s altering his message,” “He’s appealing to the Republican base,” “He’s responding to change by changing,” “He’s proving his maverick streak,” “He’s reforming his position on the issue,” “He’s looking for the right message here,” “He’s fine tuning his message to the base.”

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September 1, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Palin’s Failin’s, Luntz’s Futzes, and Other Random GOP Goop Edition

More On Sarah Palin: Nico Pitney over to the Huff Post reports that Alaska’s Gov. Hockey Mom appeared on a shock jock’s radio show in Anchorage and laughed her head off when her opponent in the Alaska State Senate, Lyda Green, was called a “bitch” by the show’s host. The slammer was that she also cackled when the idiot-with-a-microphone referred to Green, a cancer survivor, as “a cancer” twice and joked about her weight. An op-ed in The Anchorage Daily News called Palin’s giggling, “one of the most unprofessional, childish and inexcusable performances I’ve ever seen from a politician.” Classy lady, that Sarah.

– Yet More Palin: Whatever facts shake out regarding her firing of the Alaska Public Safety Commissioner for allegedly failing to dismiss a state trooper who went through an acrimonious divorce from her sister in 2005, Palin, like most Republicans, doesn’t seem to see that there is a glacier-sized conflict of interest here: She should have encouraged an investigation into his conduct and then left it to her AG or other independent body to prosecute the case. For that matter, if the guy beat his ex-wife, was drunk on the job and abused his son, as Palin has claimed, why wasn’t he arrested? (Many of Palin’s complaints have been dismissed after further investigation.) That she didn’t recuse herself from the case entirely shows she has no respect for, or knowledge of, how the law works, and we’ve had enough of that in the Executive Branch in the past eight long years. (BTW, Palin originally recommended this guy for the trooper job when she was Mayor of Wasilla. Judgment?)

– Soon to Be Breaking News: Something nasty will rise to the top regarding Palin’s close connections to large energy corporations – she’s the only so-far unindicted major Republican in the state and, contrary to Old Man McCain’s guff, she didn’t get there by being a ‘reformer.’ (Her ‘reforms’ were mainly just dumping her political enemies.) In Alaska, if you’re a GOP politician, you make the deal with Energy Money to move into the Big Leagues. This will be enough to sink the USS Maverick once as for all, as his ‘judgment’ is revealed to stink on ice (not much of a pun intended).

– Flanders? Palin calls her good Christopublican, Iron Dog racer husband Todd the ‘First Dude.’ Isn’t that cute and endearing? Gee, at least she’ll bring dignity to the vice presidency.

– ALPO Update: The AP reports that both Bush and Cheney have now pulled out of the GOP-O-Rama in St. Paul entirely. Seems someone realized that being visually associated with the most loathed president and vice president in our history is maybe not the best thing for Republicans this year. Instead, the hapless Junior will be down in Texas ‘monitoring’ Hurricane Gustav (read ‘vacationing’); and Deadeye Dick is on a four-day jaunt to Europe, including a drop-by in Georgia (uh oh). Incidentally, McCain’s handlers have decided to curtail the Republican convention activities from four hours a day to two, purportedly due to deference for the possible victims of Gustav, but really it’s likely because they didn’t think they could dredge up much of an audience the Right’s Last Rites. This speaks volumes about what terrible shape the GOP is in; no wonder Rep. Tom Davis III (R-VA), in a rare flash of honesty, told CNN last May: “The Republican brand is in the trash can. If we were dog food, they would take us off the shelf.”

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August 24, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Toss It in the Potpourri and Heat with Steam Edition

Prediction: The next big McCain exploding-cigar-of-elitism flap: We now know the Jes’-Plain-Folks McCain’s spent $273,000 last year alone on household employees — what used to be called, in a less euphemistic age, ‘servants’ – but what isn’t mentioned is the hot-n-heavy rumor that they hired some, uh oh, undocumented workers amongst the various butlers, maids and nannies and, double uh oh, didn’t pay SS or taxes on the illegal imports. (Those without their papers have likely been canned and shipped back by now.) Gee, Senator, what’s your position on immigration again?

Quotable Corner:

“That’s right. The McCains pay $270,000 per year for butlers and maids–that’s $50,000 more than the median value of an American home.”
– Nitpicker, Aug. 21, 2008.

“If you had made last year as much money as John McCain spent on household help alone $273,000 — you’d be richer than 95% of American families.”
– Mark Kleiman

“When John Edwards was running for president, and the media were obsessing about his wealth, they linked his fortune to his policy positions. Surely John McCain — who can’t remember how many houses he owns, ‘jokes’ that you aren’t rich unless you make $5 million a year, and supports tax policies that would save him and his wife, Cindy, nearly $400,000 a year — should be held to the same standard?”
– Jamison Foser, Media Matters, Aug. 22, 2008.

And don’t forget to read the ‘Priceless’ McCain ad by davefromqueens on The Daily Kos.

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August 21, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Rachel in TV Lady Clothes Edition

Wit and Intelligence Increasingly Crawling Its Way Onto the Cable TV News Schedule as Maddow Nails Down Her Own MSNBC Hour

As mentioned by Your Tattlesnake months ago, Rachel Maddow has finally sealed a deal with MSNBC, getting everything she wanted – choice of guests, choice of topics, no ‘funny’ comedian co-host, and the coveted spot following the cable news network’s most successful entry, Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Her as-yet-untitled show debuts on Sept. 8, 2008 at 9:00pmET, just in time to dissect the presidential election with Maddow’s arched-eyebrow irony, unpretentious delivery and solid grasp of the issues. Rachel’s naturally attractive TV presence, fetching both men and women viewers, should put her in good shape to make a serious run at CNN’s Larry King Live and that unwatchable bag of flaming dog poop hosted by Sean Hannity over at Fox. (Sorry, Colmes.) Word is The Verdict with Dan Abrams will move to the slot following Rachel’s show and that NBC execs are seeking a political comic in the mold of Bill Maher to fill out the late-night hour at eleven ET, with VH1′s Paul F. Tompkins and The Daily Show’s John Oliver said to be leading the list of candidates. All four shows would then be rebroadcast starting at midnight, mercifully ending the present low-rated ‘doc bloc’ programming. MSNBC will also cause regressive heads to spontaneously combust as the network embraces the liberal/progressive label with more gusto since they found out – guess what? – in the current horrid economy, L/P’s have more disposable income than the poor wretches still watching Fox, a strong selling point to advertisers.

Prediction: Rachel will dominate the time slot by November.

August 15, 2008

The Tattlesnake — Wolf Woman On the Prowl and Other Howlers Edition

Is There a Full Moon?

– Hawaii Jive-O: Cokie “Larry Talbot” Roberts just can’t get over Barack Obama going on vacation in a – gasp! – “foreign, exotic” locale like Hawaii, where he was born and raised, and where his grandmother still lives. It just “doesn’t make any sense whatsoever,” she blathered dementedly on ABC’s This Week last Sunday, even though she reluctantly admitted that she knows “Hawaii is a state” and all, but it seems in Cokie’s World it’s not a real blood-and-guts American state like, say, one-time secessionist Louisiana, her birthplace. (It’s a uniquely dumb angle of attack on Obama, especially considering that the audience for Cokie’s Sunday morning entrail-readings on ABC generally have intact frontal lobes and go on vacation there themselves, and a flip-off even the rest of the Punditocracy apparently thinks is too goofy to echo.)**

Then the very next day on NPR’s Morning Edition, the radio network’s Senior News Analyst “Two Hits” Cokie — part of the Steve and Edie Roberts power couple who no doubt vacation in the blue-collar Indiana Dunes when not busy traversing gossipy Washington cocktail parties, primping for TV appearances, and regurgitating David Broder’s latest conventional wisdom — reiterated her batty babblings regarding the “exotic” and “odd” vacation spot of Hawaii, but omitted her ABC suggestion that Obama instead go to mundane Myrtle Beach, SC, for his down time. Gee, if he had, I wonder what she’d be carping about then? “It’s incredible to me that Obama, who grew up in Hawaii and still has his 85-year-old white grandmother living there, would take this opportunity to politicize even his vacation by going to Myrtle Beach – why, he has no family or connections to that area! Is he ashamed of his white grandmother, afraid it might put off some black voters by reminding them of his mixed racial heritage? He should have visited her in Hawaii – I mean, it is a US state, after all!” And that’s the way the sausage is made these days by our ‘Obama-friendly’ Big Media, folks.

**(Correction: <Today’s New York Times features an article by Michael Falcone that repeats Cokie’s nonsense.)

– They Like Me; They Really Like Me! Check the people surrounding McCain at a real public event, as opposed to those green-screen Berlin beer hall meetings with the obvious party-hack GOPbots cheering as one at his Talking Points and giggling at his lame jokes. I saw a clip just the other day on MSNBC from a factory in Ohio, and the ‘average workers’ standing behind McNasty all looked like they just ate wallpaper paste. The moneybags Republican factory owner, drooling over paying no taxes under the GOP, no doubt ordered his wage slave proles to provide PR window-dressing for Johnny Mac’s eruptions, but they just couldn’t force themselves drag a smile along. ($100 bucks to gas up the beast and losing your home will do that to you.) Reminded me of the facial expressions of real combat troops in Iraq when the loathed Rummy came calling – “You can order me here to greet him, but I don’t have to look like I enjoy it.”

– Unprecedented: Speaking of the military, Jack Cafferty reported on CNN on Aug. 15th that, for the first time in many years, the military is donating more money to the candidate without military experience than the veteran. Obama’s campaign is apparently racking up the bucks from our people in uniform, nearly twice as much as the Republican ‘War Hero.’ Perhaps they’ve realized that the screwy GOP doesn’t know how to fight a war or take care of the troops.

– What does it say about McCain’s integrity that he’s willing to take money from this slick pile of money-humpin’ Christopublican offal? Read on:

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August 13, 2008

The Tattlesnake – ‘Underdog’ McCain’s Rocky Road Edition

Does the Superficial Stupidity Never Cease? CNN reported Aug. 12th that at a McCain rally in Pennsylvania recently, his campaign played the theme from ‘Rocky’ to announce his entrance. Oh, boy. Yep, we know the not-so-subtle subtext: Long-shot working-class white guy crawls into the ring against a snooty, pampered black champ for the Heavyweight title. Has anyone in McCain’s zoo actually seen this film? In the first ‘Rocky,’ the black champ ends up winning the fight after the white guy takes a bloody beating.

Incidentally, where are the Big Media fulminations over the presumptuousness of McCain speaking for “every American” regarding the Russia-Georgia conflict? If that isn’t presumptuous, I don’t know what is.

Praying For Reign: You may have read that James Dobson’s Focus on the Family is trying to stir up a mass prayer asking the Lawd to provide a deluge of rain to drown out Obama’s acceptance speech in Denver, August 28th. Nice folks these far-right Christians.

Aside from the fact that Dobson so far does not support McCain, and has said he could never bring himself to vote for him, what if the weather in Colorado’s largest city is nice that day? Will the wingnut Family Focusers admit that the Almighty isn’t listening to them and prefers Obama for president? Furthermore, will they stop invoking God’s name for the crass political purposes of influencing an election and go pound sand? (Update: The video advocating that Obama’s speech be rained out has been removed from the FF website and the perpetrator is now claiming it was all just a joke.)

July 6, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Drowning Down at the Old Rumor Mill Again Edition

From Everybody’s Favorite: Various Possibly Reliable Sources Who Wish to Remain Anonymous:

– China has already given the back-channel ultimatum to the Bushites – attack Iran and interrupt the flow of Iranian oil vital to the Asian nation’s economy and China will interrupt their loans and imports to the US, causing the American markets to crash even further and faster. The question is: will the mad Bush-Cheney neocons, drooling over an assault on Persia before Junior leaves office, pay attention?

– It’s a done deal: Bill Clinton has allegedly started secretly raising money for a run at the New York Governorship in 2010. Not only is Big Dog tired of campaigning for other people, he also sorely misses having political power. And he wouldn’t mind a spot in the record books as the first president to also be elected governor of two different states, one prior to the presidency and one after.

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April 4, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Sly Like a Fox News Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:59 am

Properly Framing McCain and Rupert’s Little Joke

“The press loves McCain. We’re his base.”
– Chris Matthews, MSNBC, Sept. 10, 2006.

What’s with the New Hire at MSNBC the other afternoon, hosting a senior member of John McCain’s entourage for a free 15-minute campaign commercial disguised as an interview? The vacuous cheerleader, while following the Big Media diktat of having McCainites on unimpeded by disagreeable Dems who might raise doubts or rudely break out laughing at the GOP candidate’s hapless flip-flopping, forgot to curtsey appropriately and properly word her sole question of any substance.

While in the first part of her question she observed the standard BM structure when addressing Big Mac or his affiliates, she didn’t quite genuflect enough at the end: “Well, we all know what he meant by that ‘hundred years in Iraq’ remark, but could you clarify Sen. McCain’s position a little more for our audience?”

Listen, kid, you want a future in this business, you’re going to have to frame your questions better. The preferred form of respectful recumbence would have been: “I’m so sorry to trouble you with this, I truly am, but just in case any of our viewers may have gotten the wrong impression and thought that Sen. McCain actually said that we should occupy Iraq for a hundred years – which we all know is just so untrue and unfair – could you please clarify his position on this, please, sir?”

And make sure not to play any video clips contradicting the McCain flack’s answer, as you would with a lowly Democrat or other political trash. She also only called him a ‘War Hero’ twice – in a quarter-hour spot, that phrase should be repeated at least six times, along with the words ‘maverick’ and some variation of ‘straight-talk.’ Usage example: “Next up, an interview with war hero John McCain’s campaign manager. He’s here to deliver some straight talk from our nationally-beloved political maverick who toughed it out as a POW for six years during the Vietnam War, making him the logical choice for our next commander-in-chief!”

For further tips, consult Ana Marie Cox’s new book, “Obsequious – On the Campaign Trail with That Lovable Old Sweetie-Pie, War Hero John McCain.”

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March 11, 2008

The Tattlesnake – Fired Tuck Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:11 am

Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson is not even a misbegotten American journalist’s idea of a journalist — it’s a laughable enigma how this spoiled son-of-privilege ever ended up on television pretending to be one. He’s as much a slab of tasteless turkey as any his relatives have ever slapped on an aluminum tray with lumpy gravy and called a meal, and his on-air snippy condescension, mixed with his sniggering crested-blazer boarding school style, added up to such a wince-inducing media presence that you have to wonder if his well-heeled family owns stock in the company. “Give my little nephew a job on your TV thingy.” “Sure thing! Does he have a bow-tie?”

Finally, after months of rumors, MSNBC cut the cord March 10 on Tucker’s daily hour-long Dork-a-thon, although the cable station has lamentably promised Carlson will continue to annoy viewers with his occasional political analysis – a sly short-pants conservative bookend to Pat Buchanan’s raspy ‘Incredible Shrinking White Man’ dementia.

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