BartBlog

September 9, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Obama Must Stand Up, Van Goes Down, and Comedy King Beck Edition

“If you tell the same story five times, it’s true.”
– Larry Speakes, Ronald Reagan’s White House Press Secretary.

It’s a Given: President Obama must strongly stick up for a public option in his health care speech tonight or the game’s over. The Dems will lose big in 2010, maybe even a majority in the Senate, while Obama himself will be marginalized by the right, abandoned by his progressive base, and become a one-term president, battered into a cartoonish wimp by right-wing lies and smears. We’re begging you BHO – bring out your inner FDR; boil the corporate moonshiners in some salty Truman oil. Even if you don’t manage to pass a health care reform bill, at least stand up for yourself and those who supported you!

Camp Whiggy-Watchee: Howsomever, knees are knocking at Republican HQ these days at the idea that the GOP will be heading into the 2010 election without a solid trusted leader of the party and dragging the chock-full-o-nuts baggage of the screwy-squirrel teabaggers with them. While the shouters and doubters are good public theater for astroturf airtime to dilute health care reform, independent and MOR voters – most of us, in other words – are put off by these nattering ninnies yelling ‘Nazi’ at anybody who dares disagree with them. The TV shots of men armed with rifles and handguns at the various ‘protests’ didn’t help improve the GOP image of maturity and stability either. (White Ex-Republican Soccer Mom: “How can you trust Republicans when they cater to people like that?”) Outside of Old Dixie, how do you get Congress-Creatures and other GOP detritus elected without the moderates tossing in some votes? The Repos, to their distress, are about to find out the answer – you can’t, at least not without the help of quivering Democrats.

(Speaking of Teabaggers, Here’s Some Free Advice: Dip yourselves in boiling water for ten minutes, then add sugar or lemon to taste.)

Bell Curve to Hell-Care Reform: The Dems will also feel the pain in 2010 if they don’t smarten up their act on health care reform. The unions, as well as many progressive groups, have already said ‘nada’ to putting the ‘GO’ in GOTV in the next election, if a public option isn’t in the final bill. Some (alleged) Dems central to the health care issue – Max Baucus, Harry Reid and their mealy-mouthed, corporate cash compadres – may also feel the heat from the left as real progressives challenge their nominations. Sure, they might still win, but it would cost them a bundle and leave a residue of ill-will, making them easy pickings for the GOP. If somebody like a Gov. Brian Schweitzer challenged Baucus for the Dem nomination, I think Montana primary voters would dump Max in a mixed-cliche New York heartbeat.

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July 22, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Ear to the Ground on Health Care Edition

Questions, I Have Questions…

Your (Mostly) Obedient Tattlesnake is waiting for one of our Big Media professional interrogators, such as NBC’s David “We’ll Frame It Your Way!” Gregory, to ask one of these Congressional Republicans hyperventilating against the government paying for health care, why they accept health care paid for by government taxation. To my knowledge, not one member of Congress turns down this platinum perk of office preferring to pay for privatized health care themselves, as they think us average schmoes should do. If privatized for-profit health care is ‘the greatest system in the world,’ why don’t they avail themselves of it using their own money instead of Uncle Sucker’s, i.e. ours? (I won’t hold my breath.)

Speaking of which, when do the BM ‘journalists’ start questioning why the government ‘of, by and for the people’ should be in the business of protecting private for-profit corporations from competition? We know they’ve done this unofficially for generations, but now the merry free-marketeers of the Republican Party and Blue Dog Dem stripe are openly babbling we have to protect the health care industry from ‘unfair competition’ from a public option. Wasn’t their mantra, just a few years ago, that corporations could always do a better job at a lower price than the government? If so, what are they worried about in the realm of health care? Could it be that a public health care option would nakedly expose that lie, and the obscene rip-off that America’s for-profit health insurance system has been for the past forty years?

Beware, beware: Don’t be fooled by the retooled Harry and Louise ads featuring the loathsome couple updating their opposition to health care reform by announcing themselves now ‘for it’ as long as it is ‘bipartisan’ and not ‘political.’ This is wrong on so many levels, the Tattler’s thesaurus begs for new synonyms, but the fact that the health care industry is spending over a million dollars a day to stop health care reform, and Harry and Louise is a part of that effort, should give you a clue as to just how detrimental this industry is to the public health. When Big Medico and Big Pharma use the word ‘bipartisan’ it’s in the corporate Republican sense, as in ‘do it our way.’ What the health insurance industry wants is no public option, and a huge payday in that the taxpayers will foot the bill, at current exorbitant rates, for all of the cases the for-profits currently refuse, such as ‘pre-existing conditions.’ This means we’ll be paying for dollar-a-cap Tylenols and every expensive, unneeded procedure greedy industry types can conjure up, and they, and the hospitals and doctors in on this scam, will get their piece of the very profitable action. Without competition from a public option, health care in this country will be even more expensive, yet not work any better for most of us, it will just cost more. Under the industry no-competition plan, you’ll be able to see your terminally ill relative languish into the Great Beyond at ten times what it costs in civilized nations with single-payer universal health care coverage.

More to come after Obama’s press conference tonight.

Copyright 2009 R.S. Janes.

July 16, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Questions from the New Haven Firefighters Test Edition

SAMPLE QUESTIONS FROM THE NEW HAVEN FIREFIGHTERS TEST

Here is a brief selection of questions from the New Haven Firefighters Test that have been causing such a stir among Republicans at the Sonia Sotomayor confirmation hearing and conservatives in the media.

A. What dressing is best to use in potato salad?

1. Mayonnaise
2. Miracle Whip
3. Vinegar and Bacon Grease

B. Who’s a better dancer?

1. Fred Astaire
2. Savion Glover
3. Michael Jackson

C. What ingredient is a delicious addition to collard greens?

1. I don’t know
2. Hamhocks
3. Onions

D. Of the three, what television show do you prefer when watching reruns?

1. Three’s Company
2. In Living Color
3. The Cosby Show

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June 27, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Sanford Scandal Lays Bare American Inequality Edition

There’s Justice for the Mark Sanford’s and Then There’s Justice for the Rest of Us

“The vices of the rich and great are mistaken for error; and those of the poor and lowly, for crimes.”
– Lady Marguerite Blessington

The Tattlesnake isn’t quite as forgiving as was Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter on Keith Olbermann’s Countdown June 26. Alter said he felt sorry for Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) and concluded he was a ‘nice guy.’ Sanford’s having an extramarital affair is really none of our business, and even his lying about it, to an extent, is understandable, but there are some other dimensions to the lurid Sanford saga that display a ‘public servant’ who is considerably less than what most would consider a ‘nice guy,’ aside from his towering hypocrisy.

First there was his attempt to deny $700 million in federal financial aid to South Carolina’s schoolchildren and unemployed, merely to score political points with the GOP base with an eye to a 2012 presidential nomination. That doesn’t sound very ‘nice’ to me.

Then there’s the fact that, after all of the soap-opera revelations regarding his affair with a married Argentinean woman, and outrageous lies concerning his whereabouts as he disappeared for seven days, followed by tearful public apologies, he still refuses to resign.

Moreover, he has confessed to violating South Carolina state law prohibiting misuse of public funds and adultery – yet Sanford has not been arrested for either.

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June 22, 2009

The Tattlesnake – National Waterboarding Day and Other Firecrackers Edition

“The size of the lie is a definite factor in causing it to be believed, for the vast masses of the nation are in the depths of their hearts more easily deceived than they are consciously and intentionally bad. The primitive simplicity of their minds renders them a more easy prey to a big lie than a small one, for they themselves often tell little lies but would be ashamed to tell a big one.”
“Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way around, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise.”
– Benito Mussolini, as quoted by the London Sunday Express, December 8, 1935.

Item 1: Let’s make this Independence Day National Waterboarding Day! Here’s the way it would work: At each major public gathering on Saturday, July 4, 2009, have a crew there ready to waterboard all comers. Bring your conservative friends and relatives who deny that waterboarding is torture and challenge them to personally experience this ‘enhanced interrogation technique’ for themselves. Let them deny it’s torture after they beg for it to stop after 6 or 7 seconds as Mancow Muller did. Just to sweeten the deal, offer a prize of $25.00 for anyone who lasts a full minute. Vets for Peace and other military groups could provide the waterboarders and the equipment is cheap: a few gallons of water, some water bottles, a board that can be slanted and some washcloths. I know this is short notice, but I hope MoveOn.org, True Majority and kindred liberal organizations pick this up and run with it.

Item 2: How did we ever get to the point where sacrificing our health for the profits of a large corporation is an acceptable idea? How did we get to the point where a faceless corporate bureaucrat in a for-profit business denying health care to a sick person is an acceptable idea? How did we go from doctors visiting your home when you were ill to making sick people sit in a waiting room to see the doctor? And, BTW, I’m tired of Congressional Republicans telling us that we have the best health care system in the world. Of course we do – if you happen to be a member of Congress. The rest of us have to take our chances. Want to see instant health care reform? Make the Senators and Congress-Creatures go to the Emergency Room when they get sick. After several hours in pain or feeling ill, sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair waiting for an overworked ER intern to see them, those Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats will be ready to sign on to anything that ends that scene from Dante’s Inferno.

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May 30, 2009

The Tattlesnake – On Celebrating Memorial Day in the Aftermath of Cheney’s New Rome Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:58 pm

My uncle was an Army Ranger during the Korean War who saw the results of ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’ performed by the North Koreans on American GIs. Although there were no waterboardings mentioned that I recall, sleep deprivation, exposure to extreme temperatures, lengthy confinement in small spaces, prisoners kept for days with their head covered by burlap bags, and other forms of torture were routinely practiced. There were no ‘major organ failures,’ yet my uncle, and every one who saw the psychologically broken, hollow-eyed men released by the NK knew what they had ungone was torture, without question. He was proud to say that America didn’t torture our captives. So was my father, who witnessed the results of torture of American POWs in the Pacific Theater during WWII.

It was simple: America does not torture.

The Bush/Cheney Gang, supported by those other execrable toads Bybee, Bradbury and Yoo, have dishonored the service of my father, my uncle and millions of others who sacrificed their youth and risked or lost their lives for a Constitution and a form of government that adhered to its own laws and didn’t descend to barbarism out of panic or sadism or incompetence. Dick Cheney knew very well that Americans would not countenance torture so he had his lawyers invent another name for it, and he continues to dishonor our veterans, living and dead, and all Americans, justifying the crimes he committed in our name and without our permission by insisting he has protected us, when he is really only protecting himself. If Cheney had the kind of guts he is purported to have, he would come out and admit he ordered the torture and take responsibility for it, instead of wrapping himself in weasely euphemisms and the flag. But ‘tough guy’ Cheney doesn’t have the courage to do that — my father and my uncle had more courage in their little fingers than ‘desk jockey’ Cheney has displayed in his entire career. They risked their lives for their country; Dick Cheney has done nothing more than play pathetic political games for his own profit. To say he is disgusting is an understatement.

Perhaps the House and Senate, before voting on Bybee’s impeachment or, indeed, the prosecution of any of these war criminals, should be required to see a film of what American soldiers looked like after they had been subjected to the techniques outlined in the Bybee/Yoo memos, and allow men like my uncle, who have seen the terrible results of Cheney’s ‘enhanced interrogation techniques,’ and those who have experienced them first-hand, to testify in public. It might wake them up to the true horror of what the Bush/Cheney Regime has done in our name.

Also read:
“Everyone Should See ‘Torturing Democracy’”
Bill Moyers and Michael Winship, Common Dreams, May 30, 2009.

© 2009 R.S. Janes. LTSaloon.org.

May 29, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Cheney the War Criminal Edition

Those who watched Dick Cheney’s speech Thursday, May 21 had a glimpse of the ‘real Cheney’ stripped of his usual condescending corporate-CEO cold-bloodedness and country-club sham machismo — for the first part of his remarks he was a shaken, sick old man of 68 desperately trying to make a case for brazenly violating the laws of civilization and the US Constitution, apparently clinging to the notion that if he can summon up enough public support for his torture policies he can avoid the temporary judgment of a jury, and the more lasting condemnation of history.

For, in fact, Cheney’s fervid protestations that ‘we didn’t torture’ and his subsequent bizarre assertions that ‘everything we did was legal’ fail on both counts, yet another prime example of the perpetually wrongheaded Cheney approach on display since he assumed the vice presidency by way of an illicit Supreme Court decision in 2000.

The waterboarding that Cheney has blithely admitted to in several different public forums has been defined as torture since the autos-da-fé of the Spanish Inquisition 500 years ago, and various international tribunals and American courts in the Twentieth Century have reaffirmed that definition. Cheney’s justification that the torture he authorized was ‘legal’ because a couple of DOJ lawyers told him so holds no more water than if they had advised him it was legal for him to own slaves. The Constitution Cheney took an oath to uphold states clearly that ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ is banned, as do several treaties the US has signed which are by dint of Congressional approval the law of the land, as well as the Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment signed by Republican President Ronald Reagan in 1988 which specifically prohibits the sort of cruel and degrading treatment of detainees Cheney authorized.

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May 28, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Suggestions for the Fox Populi and the Other Media Maroons Edition

Remember, Kids, Freedom Isn’t Free: While I would never support censoring anyone’s freedom of speech, I think there should be special conditions for those in the right-wing media who regularly abuse this right by using it to spread outrageous fabrications and misleading distortions. Following are a few suggestions:

Sean Hannity should be required to do his program in between regularly scheduled televised waterboarding sessions, say at 30-minute intervals every time he’s on the air. It’s could be like the half-hour time mark, “This is Sean Hannity and it’s exactly 8:30 – brggghhhh — arrggghhhh, STOP, STOP!!!!” This will end when Sean admits waterboarding is torture and quits show business the next day.

Bill O’Reilly should have to do his show without a teleprompter or a script. Also, every antagonistic guest – which would constitute his entire guest list — would be a complete surprise that O’Reilly would have to deal with on-air in ‘real time’ without preparation. Oh, and the guests would all wear Keith Olbermann masks. This will stop when O’Reilly admits he uses a teleprompter and a script to do his show and there’s nothing wrong with that. He’ll also have to stop ambushing people with whom he disagrees, and say Olbermann’s name at least once during every program, until he quits show business the next day.

Glenn Beck should be required to have Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar on his show as regular co-hosts. He would also have a crawl running under his name whenever he’s talking on the air, “Glenn Beck, Stand-Up Comic: You’re an Idiot If You Listen to Me!” until he quits show business that evening.

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May 18, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Suspicious Minds Edition

Big Media ‘Pandemania’ Hides More Important News

Instead of ‘Swine Flu’ how about ‘Hamthrax’? **

For a couple of weeks in late April and early May, American news consumers were fed a near-constant diet of panic-stricken speculation by the US Big Media of an approaching Swine Flu bug that could have killed millions. Yes, it could have, but it didn’t. As tragic as it is that any have died from the H1N1 flu virus, only three Americans, and fewer than 100 people worldwide, have been killed by this flu. Many more die of car accidents, malaria and tuberculosis in a month than have expired from H1N1, yet cars are not banned and extraordinary precautions are not prescribed to save us from the ravages of malaria and TB. For that matter, about 3,000 people die each month of complications from conventional flu in this country.

One moment for a definition of terms: News is a declarative statement that ends in a period: Such-and-such happened to so-and-so at this-or-that place due to these conditions. The old ‘who, what, when, where, why, and how.’ Speculation, on the other hand, ends in a question mark. News is supposed to be what already happened, and the facts thereof. Speculation considers the endless possibilities of something that happened, or might happen in the future. That’s not news; that’s basically gossip. Look at how much of the ‘news’ these days on the cable channels and in the broadcast media ends in a question mark, especially where the H1N1 virus is concerned.

Our if-it-bleeds-it-leads Big Media love this kind of doomsday scare story: they can invite on legions of junk scientists trailing random letters of the alphabet after their names to nod sagely at how awful things might turn out in the various ‘worst case scenarios,’ engage in endless solemn crosstalk between earnestly-doltish anchor-jocks and speed-freak peppy anchorettes designed to make them appear as if they were born with frontal lobes, and suck in those viewers who don’t pay any attention to the world around them unless terrified by Hollywood disaster-movie plots, thereby cranking up ratings for the bottomless pit of ennui that is the cable TV 24/7 news cycle.

But there’s another aspect to this Swine Flu distraction that is little noted by the overpaid glitz-blisters and schlockmeisters who have floated to the top of the American media septic tank.

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May 11, 2009

The Tattlesnake – I Heard It Through the Grapevine Edition

There’s nothing more reliable than anonymously-sourced comments, as readers of the NY Times well know…

Item 1. “Here’s the way it worked in the GOP when Bush Junior was in office: If some Republican senator or representative threatened to vote against the White House on an important issue, they’d get ‘The Call,’ which went something like: ‘Okay, you vote any way you want but, when you’re up for re-election, don’t count on any help from the RNC, and we’re gonna call the big money donors to the party and tell them to take you off the list. Oh, and we’re also gonna run a heavyweight Republican against you in the primary, so you may not even get to run for re-election. So, you go on and cast your vote however you want.’ You could count the number of Republicans who crossed the line on one hand. I don’t understand why the Democrats can’t do this with the Conserva-Dems.”

Item 2. “These big biotech companies like Monsanto have labs down in Mexico that experiment on all kinds of weird sci-fi stuff they couldn’t get away with in the States. This new Swine Flu virus – H1N1 — is some kind of mutant combo of bird flu, swine flu and a human flu. How did those three get together naturally? If one of these weirdo genetic combos got loose outside the lab and started making people sick, you really believe in your wildest dreams that Monsanto or whoever is going to fess up and say ‘Whoops – our bad! We goofed and this genetically-altered mutant virus we created got loose!’ Sure — the billions in lawsuits and bad PR would bury them.”

Item 3. “Arlen Specter’s dreaming if he thinks he’s going to win the Pennsylvania Democratic primary. Off-year primaries are where the real party faithful vote and some of these folks still remember when Specter jumped from the Democrats to the Republicans in 1965, and they’re still pissed about it. Any credible Democrat could beat him. Hell, Chris Matthews could beat him. Specter could maybe save his bacon if he became a real progressive Democrat, but he’s already shown he’s not going there. Obama and [PA Gov. Ed] Rendell will say a few good words about him, but that’s not going to save him. That old man’s living in a fairyland. His ass is astroturf in 2010, in my opinion.”

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April 30, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Rep. Hoot, Sen. Smalley and the Fox Swine Crew Edition

The Harder They Fall…

What a Hoot: As Keith Olbermann reported Wednesday night, perpetually-insane Minnesota comediatrix Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Daft) brought the funny the other day when she took to the House floor to condemn Franklin D. Roosevelt and the Dems for the ‘Hoot-Smalley Act’ of the Great Depression era. While you can never be sure when dealing with a dingbat like Bachmann, who apparently stole her blank eyeballs from a crazy doll in “Bride of Chucky“, she probably meant the ‘Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act‘ that was sponsored by two Republicans, and signed into law by Republican President Herbert Hoover in 1930. In reality, FDR campaigned against the act in 1932, and a Dem majority in Congress effectively repealed Smoot-Hawley in 1934 with the Reciprocal Trade Agreements Act, but in Michele’s loopy-dumb, wish-I-had-a-brain, far-right universe facts are a liberal, commie plot invented by the Devil to trip up those patriotically lying in the name of Jesus. If you’re a sane Republican (okay, that would be confined to ex-McCain manager Steve Schmidt and Sen. Olympia Snowe) you know that Bachmann’s Sixth District is already in the ‘D’ column in 2010 (she nearly lost to an unknown children’s book character named Elwyn Tinklenberg in ’08), and that you must find a legal means to (a) shut this woman up before she further damages what’s left of your party and (b) prevent her from running for president or vice president in 2012. (The vision of a ‘Palin-Bachmann 2012′ ticket privately induces dyspeptic nightmares of an LBJ/Goldwater electoral slaughter among GOP bigwigs.) Of course, it may be too late – the GOP brand is so tainted that if you jettisoned all of the dotty Dittoheads, nattering neocons, tone-deaf teabaggers, putrid Palinites, raging racists, Savage Nation neo-Nazis, fatuous Freepers, flaming fully-automatic gun nuts and kinky religious kooks, you could assemble what’s left of the party in a Washington hotel ballroom with space to spare for a trained elephant act. (For more on this, read the last two items in this article.)

He’s Good Enough, He’s Smart Enough and Doggone It, the People Liked Him! Speaking of Minnesota, the drab electoral Death March of Numb Norm Coleman, the Republican Sore Loser, received a little spark of life thanks to the wily minds in Al Franken’s

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April 25, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Even Under Obama, Our Two-Tiered Justice System Rolls On Edition

Why Are Glenn Beck and His Media Colleagues Walking Free While Minnesota’s ‘RNC 8′ Are Prosecuted for Terrorism?

Real Texans, natives from those parts of the state not dominated by the alligator-cowboy-boot luxury of the oil-pump Petrograds of Dallas or Houston, claim that, even in its death throes, a poisonous snake is still dangerous. Poke it with a stick and, with it’s a final ounce of waning spite, it will snap and try to kill as it writhes its last.

Such is the case with the fading right-wing media and their cohort in the Republican Party, their only hope for continued relevance encapsulated by the fervent wish that the increasingly popular President Obama fail miserably, and take the country down with him. These neocon elite know, even from their musings of history by the dim firelight in Plato’s cave, that a successful Obama spells the end, at least in their lifetimes, of the modern ‘free market’ corporatist-conservative movement blueprinted by Milton Freidman and his acolytes, and set into motion by Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and the two Bush presidencies, culminating in the Dubya-initiated disaster of our current economic crisis, the inevitable historically-repeated result of stealing from the poor to give to the rich.

But the Limbaughs and Becks, Hannitys and O’Reillys are also battling with each other for ratings from a dwindling, aging audience, causing them to engage in a war of words wherein they must out-do one another in issuing paranoia-laden proclamations in a voice of sullen outrage, bray archaic Cold War bombast or, in the case of Glenn Beck, display the tearful, fearful ramblings of a man losing his mind.

Not that any of them actually believe any of the guff they spread daily – they are mental itinerant workers who are well-paid for peddling a continually shifting ideology – when Bush said we are not at war with Islam, he was statesmanlike and diplomatic; when Obama does it, he’s surrendering to our Muslim enemies. When Bush ordered Shock and Awe bombings of Baghdad that killed innocent Iraqi teenagers, that’s understandable – the unfortunate ‘collateral damage’ of war; when Obama orders the three teenage pirates threatening the life of an American citizen shot, he’s killing kids. When Clinton was in office, seemingly his every movement, even firing staff in the White House Travel Office, was worthy of a special prosecutor; when Obama talks about holding those accountable who illegally ordered torture, he’s turning the country into a banana republic. And on it goes, an endless stream of swill offered up by the millionaire shills for the entertainment division of the Fox funhouse mirror of political propaganda, toiling in the fields planted by Edward Bernays, Joseph Goebbels, H.R. Haldeman and unsung laborers in behavioral psychology and mass marketing who devoted their professional lives to convincing the public to buy products they don’t need and adopt political ideas that empty their bank accounts and lower their wages, while tempering their minds to accept ever larger loads of pernicious claptrap that serves the profitable interests of the wealthy moguls who bankroll the whole anti-democratic, anti-Constitutional neoconservative operation.

Every day, in the safe confines of the radio or cable TV studio, these media evangelists of the New World Order wrestle with indomitably evil straw men, unleash torpedos of invective at liberal ghost blips on the radar, launch fusillades of bile at comic book enemies from the Eisenhower era, crucify those they detect as suspicious of Jesus’ divinity or conservative Republican provenance, and, most hilariously, mount fearsome attacks on the mythical Left-Wing Media, the corporate conglomerate parents of which are owned by wealthy capitalists who invest on Wall Street, seek further tax cuts for their upper-income bracket, deregulation for their companies, pay good money to lobby politicians, and, in many cases, own a piece of the outlet that broadcasts the daily doses of outrage and hate to the lower caste of ignorant, addled Proles seeking an easy leftist scapegoat for what has happened to their country in the wake of the misrule of the elite Republican right.

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April 16, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Short Cuts in New Ruts Edition

Double-Dipping Teabag Hag: The Ol’ Tattler’s failing peepers can’t be sure, but I believe I saw the same woman who was sporting the insulting ‘Kerry Band-Aid’ at the GOP convention in NY circa 2004 wearing a hat adorned with hanging teabags yesterday at one of Fox News’ corporately-sponsored tea parties. Just a quick impression: She’s probably the head of the Pig Whistle, Louisiana, chapter of the DAR, the treasurer of the local ‘I Love Sarah’ Fan Club, chairwoman of the county Republican Party, and a good Southern Baptist who, in the name of the Lawd, beats her kids regularly “just to keep the li’l buggers in line.”

BTW, shouldn’t the videos of these astroturf ‘spontaneous events’ be repackaged by some bright young Republican sociopath into a TV reality show called “Just How Stupid Are You?”

Meantime, over at Rachel Maddow last night, a good point was made – I think by Ana Marie Cox — about the anti-tax FNC Teabag Party nonsense. She pointed out that most of these dismal events were held in public parks – in other words, land paid for and maintained by taxpayer funds. If you hate taxes and government so much, go hold your damn teabag party or your own private property and don’t make those who think you’re nuts foot the bill, not only for the land, but the clean-up afterwards. And would all of those tax-haters sprouting gray and white hair at those FNC rallies please return their Social Security checks and refuse medical treatment courtesy of the government?

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April 5, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Rushing to the Bottom-Feeders Edition

Who Else is There Left for Limbaugh to Influence?

Rush Limbaugh is a phenomenon of the ’80s and ’90s when he still retained some ability to shock, and the entire regressive Republican agenda he insistently trumpeted daily, which fundamentally amounted to electing Republicans to throw money at the rich and permitting corporations and Wall Street to act without regulation, had yet to be proven by events, such as our present Great Depression redux, to be the recipe for mass disaster it has historically been.

Limbaugh had quite a time back then kicking around FDR’s liberalism that had brought the nation out of the last Republican-generated economic crisis of the 1930s, and counted on the uneducated knuckledraggers, attention-deficit cretins, McCarthyite jingoists, terrified shut-ins, imperial chickenhawks and outright cases of brain damage that populate his audience to trust his hooey-fied history lessons and giggle at his class-clown racism and sexism.

Rush often claims his talent is on loan from God but, since he’s never clear as to the identity of his personal deity, it might very well be one with two horns and a scaly tail who causes young girls to prodigiously vomit pea soup. (A reaction Rush is no doubt accustomed to from women by now.) Conservatism has often been used as a respectable ideological shield for the darker aspects of the human character such as greed, selfishness and cruelty, and Limbaugh evinces all of these flaws is his daily three-hour howlings at the moon.

What does this spoiled self-serving multi-millionaire mostly gripe about on his show? Those in the upper-10 percent tax bracket such as himself paying higher taxes. He makes $50 million a year and he’s complaining bitterly over paying a few percentage points more in taxes to help his country out of the mess caused by the Republican ‘principles’ he’s ardently promoted of deregulating markets, banks, investment firms, real estate, and unfettered corporate expansion, while lowering taxes for the rich and running enormous deficits. Instead of taking responsibility for what he’s advocated, Rush blames it on Obama and the Democrats. What a mighty good man.

Before confusing Limbaugh’s brand of patriotism with the dictionary definition of that word, it’s instructive to heed the underlying message of his broadcasts: Money before country — particularly Rush’s own sacrosanct bankroll.

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April 3, 2009

The Tattlesnake – Fitzgerald Finally Indicts Blagojevich for Jaywalking Edition

19 Charges Against Blago, 16 of Them Felonies, But Not Much St. Pat the Prosecutor Can Hang His Halo On

The AP has reported that federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald finally indicted impeached Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich yesterday, April 2, on 16 felony charges, including conspiracy, attempted extortion, wire fraud and racketeering.

This all stinks to high heaven – Fitzgerald needs four months to indict a guy who, in his words, was on a “crime spree” and then doesn’t even have a press conference to announce the particulars of the indictment? Quite a bit different from the media circus he ringmastered last December to drive Blago from office. Plus, his key witness is apparently the jailed slimebucket Tony Rezko. Rezko is doing hard time in solitary and might be amenable to saying whatever Mr. Fed wants to hear to shave off some months from his sentence – not what you’d call a stellar witness.

Charges that Blago used his influence to arrange job interviews for his wife with companies doing business with the state where she wasn’t hired, used ‘improper influence’ (did he have a gun?) to block efforts to consolidate state retirement funds, held up taxpayer money to fix the Tribune Company’s privately-owned Wrigley Field, and ‘discussed the possibility’ of having Fitzgerald replaced tip off the flop-sweat desperation of a prosecutor trying to pad his case. Privately ‘discussing the possibility’ of removing a prosecutor, blocking the consolidation of state funds desired by a corporation, withholding taxpayer money for a private sports enterprise, and arranging job interviews for your wife are now illegal? Fitzgerald is going to be mighty busy from now on, prosecuting every single politician in Illinois.

Also named in the charges is a ‘Candidate A’ that some of the TV Talking Heads are claiming is Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. The allegation is that Candidate A was offered Obama’s vacated US Senate seat in return for a contribution to Blago’s campaign of $1.5 million. All well and good, except Jackson has already categorically denied that he discussed any kind of deal with Blago or his staff.

According to Jim Warren, formerly of the Chicago Tribune, speaking on Chris Matthews’ Hardball last night, there is little in these 16 counts that was not brought out in Fitzgerald’s press conference last December. If so, Fitzy is armed with 16 counts of wet noodle here – he supposedly has wiretaps that have Blago discussing bribes, but no actual bribes taking place. He might be able to make a thin-beef conspiracy charge stick but, then again, does he really want Blago and his staff taking the stand to expose the way the sausage is made in Springfield by both the Dems and GOP?

Regular Tattlesnake readers know that I have a friend who has 20 years experience with non-profit organizations trying to bring health care to everyone in Illinois. She reports that Blago was the only governor, and one of the few statehouse politicians, who ever took the issue seriously, and even appointed a liaison to the non-profit health care groups, with the aim of instituting single-payer universal health care for every Illinois resident. For this, and other progressive ideas, such as supporting unions and cracking down on the mortgage-lending industry, Blago was loathed by the corporate Powers-That-Be who have been trying to get rid of him since he took office. On the Republican side, the attacks have been spearheaded by the Chicago Tribune, and on the Dem side by Illinois Speaker of the House Mike Madigan, a corrupt leftover from the old Daddy Daley Chicago Machine who wants his daughter Lisa, currently the Illinois AG, to be governor someday.

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April 1, 2009

The Tattlesnake: What Fools These Morsels Be Edition

Filed under: Commentary,Opinion,Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — RS Janes @ 6:52 pm

Separate the wheat from the chaff in this April Fool’s Day quiz: which are the real news items and which are the fakes (and no cheating with the Google):

1. Pacino Eyes Run at NY Senate Seat
(New York Daily News)
Excerpt: “The veteran actor told the Daily News that he thinks ‘the time is ripe for progress, and I can bring the progress.’” […]
“On the inevitable comparisons to his role as mobster Michael Corleone in ‘The Godfather,’ he said, ‘If a little ‘Michael’ helps me get things done in Washington, that’s not a bad thing is it?’”

2. Octomom Admits Praying to Satan
(Christian Science Monitor)
Excerpt: “Saying she was frustrated with her life at the time and what she termed ‘God’s dissing me totally,’ Nadya Suleman revealed today that she prayed for Satan’s help a week before she found out she was pregnant with octuplets…” […]
“‘I was really desperate and felt like a real loser,’ she said, ‘and I’d never do it again.’”

3. Florida Attorney General Reopens Limbaugh Drug Case
(Reuters)
Excerpt: “Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum told the Miami Herald Wednesday that, based on grand jury testimony in an unrelated drug case, he has sufficient evidence that the talk show host violated his probation by continuing to use narcotics after the date of his plea agreement.” […]
“Roy Black, Mr. Limbaugh’s attorney, claimed no such agreement was ever struck with the court.”

4. Miss Universe and Miss USA Tour Guantanamo
(Associated Press)
Excerpt: “Miss Universe and Miss USA have taken a firsthand look at the U.S. prison for terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay.” […]
“‘I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful,’ [Miss Universe Dayana] Mendoza wrote on [her] blog.”

5. Something Fowl in Customs
(MSN)
Excerpt: “A 23-year-old man flew into Australia with a pair of pigeons hidden in his pants. According to the Australian Customs and Border Protection Service, the man was concealing a live pigeon in each leg of his trousers.”

6. CNBC Hires Ex-Treasury Secy. Paulson as Analyst
(Bloomberg)
Excerpt: “‘What better business analyst can you have than a former secretary of the treasury?’ asked Dan Bledsoe, the cable financial channel’s senior V.P. for programming. “This will amp up our credibility 1000 percent.’”

7. Zucker Plans ’24′ Spin-Off to Star Garofalo
(Entertainment Weekly)
Excerpt: “David Zucker, executive producer of Fox’s hit show ’24,’ has announced Tuesday that he will launch a similar program starring controversial actress Janeane Garofalo as a government agent who ‘does her own thing, law-wise’ tentatively titled ‘The 24 Woman’. […]
“‘It will appeal it the same audience as the current show, same format,’ Zucker said, ‘With a little more sexiness from Janeane, but there will be plenty of rock’ em, sock ‘em action.’”

Click ‘Read on’ for the answers.

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