June 1, 2020

[Don't] bring in the clowns: Why Trump loves being made fun of

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 11:11 am


When I was a little kid, my really mean older sister was constantly telling me that I was stupid, dumb and ugly. By the age of five or six, I had clearly started to believe her. And to this day, I can still hear her voice in my head, “You are stupid, dumb and ugly. And lazy and will never amount to anything either, you’re a disgrace and nobody will ever love you.”

Finally I just threw a chair at her. She ducked. It made a big hole in the wall.

To a whole bunch of Americans today, Donald Trump represents that chair. He stoutly defends the honor of all those Americans out there who also believe that they too are stupid, dumb and ugly. So every time one of us progressives calls Trump a liar, a thief, a clown, a pervert, a dupe for the Dark Overlords, a tacky dresser, Sheldon Adelson’s rentboy or an idiot who doesn’t know shite from Shinola, we are in effect calling his base all those bad names too!

And when Trump roars and fights back and blames everyone but himself for destroying the economy, selling out to the nabobs, spending our hard-earned money on even more dangerous nuclear weapons and brutal wars, trying to destroy our post offices, disrespecting Jesus’ teachings, throwing babies into cages, egging on gun-toting racist mobs, encouraging anarchy, screwing with our schools, screwing with our jobs, our families, our very life itself? And subjecting us to hours and hours and hours of bad TV as well? And so we call him an idiot just because he is one?

Then we are in effect insulting his base as well as Himself.

And when The Donald boisterously defends himself, he is also defending his base. And they love him for it. Trump is their Chair. And he loves being their Chair. Every time any of us with even half a grain of human decency makes fun of him, he tightens his grip on his base. Tightens his grip on their balls. Becomes their mean older sister.

Perhaps it’s finally time for Trump’s base to realize that he is actually just using them, that he’s actually their own worst enemy — and then they, like me, will finally grab their own freaking chairs and throw their own chairs back at him.

May 29, 2020

Remember Pandora’s box? Apparently our leaders don’t…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 6:08 pm


“Let’s just shut down the economy for a few days, months or years,” say our leaders. “What could possibly go wrong if we open Pandora’s box?” Oops. And now we have riots in Minneapolis.

“But Jane,” you might say, “That’s just about police brutality and racism and stuff like that.” Is it?

I recently talked with a friend of mine in Minneapolis and she paints a whole different picture. “Ever since the lock-down started,” she said, “things have been very tense around here. People in Minneapolis are sick and tired of the lock-down. Plus so many neighborhood stores have been closing. Permanently. And many of my friends are out of work too.” The same is true here in my hometown as well.

“But to make matters even worse,” my friend continued, “police have been stopping a whole lot of people in the streets lately and charging them with walking around while Black. Minneapolis has been a tinderbox for at least a month now. And someone or something was just bound to light the fuse. We are sitting on dynamite here. Racism set it off this time — but almost anything could have caused it to blow.”

Yeah, well. What my friend says about Minneapolis rings true. And this could also be true of all the rest of America right now — and even for the rest of the world. What were our leaders thinking? Shut down our entire economy and even our way of life for two months and expect nothing much will happen except that the Federal Reserve will go nuts spending other people’s money and a few billionaires will become trillionaires — but somehow none of the rest of us will even notice?

None of the rest of us will get pissed off if we have no jobs, no schools, no food, no social life, no freedom, no hope?

Most Americans right now are all tied up in their fear of catching the dread coronavirus — but all too soon they will be start to be all tied up in their fear of things even far worse, even their very survival. Minneapolis is merely the tip of the iceberg.

Yep, our leaders have truly opened Pandora’s box. Damn. I wish that they would hurry up and just close its freaking lid — before even more evil escapes into the world.

According to Dr. Zach Bush, we can make this a hopeful time instead of just one of scarcity and horror. “We can’t just go back to the ‘normal’ of buying more and more stuff,” and being ruled by greedy stupid leaders who can’t even recognize Pandora’s’ box when they see it actually staring them in the face.

“Instead, we need to be able to congregate with better attitudes toward each other, create music to celebrate life and protect ourselves while protecting nature. Otherwise our future is extinction. We have an opportunity to transform to a better planet.” What he said. Yeah.


May 22, 2020

[Don't] bring in the clowns: Why Trump loves being made fun of

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 9:43 pm


When I was a little kid, my really mean older sister constantly told me that I was stupid, dumb and ugly. By the age of five or six, I had clearly started to believe her. And to this day, I can still hear her voice in my head, “You are stupid, dumb and ugly. And lazy and will never amount to anything either, you’re a disgrace and nobody will ever love you.”

Finally I just threw a chair at her. She ducked. It made a big hole in the wall.

To a whole bunch of Americans today, Donald Trump represents that chair. He stoutly defends the honor of all those Americans out there who also believe that they too are stupid, dumb and ugly. So every time one of us progressives calls Trump a liar, a thief, a clown, a pervert, a dupe for the Dark Overlords, a tacky dresser, Sheldon Adelson’s rentboy or an idiot who doesn’t know shite from Shinola, we are in effect calling his base all those bad names too!

And when Trump roars and fights back and blames everyone but himself for destroying the economy, selling out to the nabobs, spending our hard-earned money on even more dangerous nuclear weapons and brutal wars, trying to destroy our post offices, disrespecting Jesus’ teachings, throwing babies into cages, egging on gun-toting racist mobs, encouraging anarchy, screwing with our schools, screwing with our jobs, our families, our very life itself? And subjecting us to hours and hours and hours of bad TV as well?

Then we are in effect insulting his base.

And when The Donald boisterously defends himself, he is also defending his base. And they love him for it. Trump is their Chair. And he loves being their Chair. Every time any of us with even half a grain of human decency makes fun of him, he tightens his grip on his base. Tightens his grip on their balls. Becomes their mean older sister.

Perhaps it’s finally time for Trump’s base to realize that he is actually just using them, that he’s actually their own worst enemy — and then, like me, finally become their own chairs and throw their own chairs back at him.


May 20, 2020

Madam Jane predicts: COVID will show Americans what it’s like to live in the Middle East

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 10:30 pm


“COVID-19 is America’s karmic payback for callously murdering all those babies in Iraq and Syria,” stated Madam Jane this morning. “Karma’s a bitch.”

“Stop, just stop it!” I screamed at her, horrified. “This time you have gone too far.”

“I know what I know. I see what I see,” said Madam Jane. “Millions dead in the Middle East. Brutally dead. Blown up, shot, poisoned, beheaded, starved, jailed, tortured, murdered by America’s imperial forces — murdered without mercy in Syria and Palestine and Iraq and Afghanistan and Yemen and Lebanon and Libya….”

“No! No!” I shouted. “These two tragedies are not the same! Innocent Americans are dying here. Our elders. Our doctors. No! You are wrong! Get out of my house!”

“But I see what I see,” said Madam Jane. “A few Americans dead. Less than 0.03% at the most. Yet we wail and gnash our teeth and go into hiding like it was Armageddon. Well, I had a dream.”

“What can you possibly dream that is crueler than this — that the American economy is ruined? Our children afraid and our grandmothers dead? Our freedoms gone, our dreams destroyed, our cities ruled by martial law, everyone suspicious of their neighbors? Our businesses closed forever? Not enough medicine? Not enough doctors and nurses? Our leaders telling us lies about the wonders of deregulation while enabling greedy oligarchs to steal our life savings and the Federal Reserve prints up Monopoly money and pretends that it’s real? Our schools shut down, eviction just around the corner, our grocery store shelves soon to be empty — and our stomachs too? What can possibly be crueler than this!”

M.J. just kept rattling off statistics and shite. Thankfully there was no Power Point presentation.

I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear any more. Blasphemy!

“What you have just described,” she calmly continued, “is just one more average day in Gaza, just another typical day in Damascus, just one average day in Sana’a, another average day in Kabul. Greedy Americans and their totalitarian allies have destroyed the Middle East for fun and profit. And, like all those endless ‘wars’ that our televisions constantly teach us to love so much, there clearly isn’t any exit strategy for our COVID nightmare here either.”

” No. I refuse to accept that,” I said. “You are clearly not Galileo. These two nightmares are not the same. COVID is not karmic retribution. COVID is just a disease. Wait six months. You’ll see!”

Madam Jane simply shrugged. “You just keep telling yourself that.” I shut the door in her face.


Stop Wall Street and War Street (and Big Pharma) from destroying our world. And while you’re at it, please buy my books.

May 18, 2020

The new 5G escalation: “Curses, foiled again!”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 8:44 pm
     What do Wuhan, New York City, Milan, the Diamond Princess, Silicon Valley, Seattle and Guayaquil all have in common?  Two things.  “These are the places most ravaged by the plague,” our media screams at us daily.  But they also have one more thing in common as well.  All these places have been recently given an extreme wi-fi facelift.  They’ve all been recently wired up the ying-yang with 5G.  And I’m willing to bet that the USS Theodore Roosevelt has been recently wired with it too. 5G works by stirring up energy, which causes oxygen molecules in the air we breathe to spin around — to the point where our hemoglobin gets all pissed off and won’t attach to them.  And then our faces turn blue.  What could possibly go wrong!

     But wait.  It gets worse.  Now every time I turn on my TV, Sprint, T-Mobile and Verizon begin constantly yammering at me about how lucky I am that 5G is coming to my hometown soon as well.  Oh crap.  Now I’m gonna catch COVID-19 for sure!  Now I too am going to die!  Just like all those people in that 5G-wired rest home near Seattle!  I’m doomed.  Only one thing left for me to do — start planning my funeral.  “Bury my ashes in the back yard.  Only serve gluten-free stuff at the memorial.  Don’t invite Donald Trump….”
      But rather than just roll over and sacrifice my life to the Future of Technology like some stupid lemming, I’ve developed a plan.  Self-defense.  Knowledge is power!  A friend of mine has an EMF meter.  She can check my apartment for 5G electo-magnetic hot spots.  I can fight back!  I won’t have to die after all.
      And the back wall in my bedroom made the EMF meter start to flash and beep like a Christmas tree.  But that made sense.  There are a dozen PG&E smart meters right next to that wall, and right up the street is a PG&E substation — has been there for years.  So I’m (sort of) used to that level of gigahertz.  And even though several neighbors have come down with cancer recently, I myself am okay.  Hasn’t killed me yet.  No brain tumors or nothing.  So far.
     But then the EMF meter really started rocking off the charts when placed next to the AT&T wi-fi router on the desk in my front room.  5G?  Not 5G?  Who cares.  It’s obviously bad juju.  “Now I really am doomed!”
      Yeah, no.  Still not going down without a fight.  I have another plan!  So I ran across the street to Walgreens, bought three rolls of super-strong heavy-duty aluminum foil, covered up my wi-fi router with the stuff and then papered over my bedroom wall with it too.  Whew!  Now I’m safe from 5G and the coronavirus as well!  Take that, Sprint, T-Mobile and Verizon!
     “You think you’re so smart, Jane?”  But apparently not.  I’ve been outsmarted again.
       At 3:00 am, I woke up abruptly with a horrid metal taste in my mouth.  Damn it.  So much for my plan.  All that aluminum foil hanging on my bedroom wall was off-gassing like some dead-man-walking at San Quentin!  Off-gassing!  Is that even a word?  Desperately I tore the aluminum foil off by back wall and frantically threw it all out the front door.  Now I really really am doomed.
     But then I spent last Mothers Day having a marvelous stay-cation at the historic Rose Garden Inn a few blocks away and eating chocolates from the local farmers market.  Then I slept like a baby.  Maybe there’s hope for me yet.  Will chocolate save me from 5G?
PS:  Last week I was feeling weirdly eccentric.  This week I’m just feeling angry.  How dare they shove 5G down our throats — knowing that people will die from it.  People like you and me — and our kids.  But obviously American oligarchs care about nothing but themselves.
     They gave us Tweedledee and Tweedle-dumb as presidential candidates.
     They gave us the COVID lock-up so they could steal everything that wasn’t nailed down while we cowered under our beds like puppies in a rainstorm. 
     We fought against the fascists in World War II because we were brave.
     We’ve already lost World War 3 against the fascists because we are wimps.
     “But, Jane, you are not taking COVID seriously enough,” a friend e-mailed me recently.  “Doctors and nurses are dying from this stuff.”  Yes, they are.  And this tragedy is yet one more gruesome indictment of our pathetic fascistic values.  America spends trillions of dollars on murdering babies in Syria and Palestine each year — and yet here at home where it actually matters, we spend nothing on stuff that is truly important.
      Medical schools in America are currently too expensive and too elite to actually pump out all the doctors and nurses that we so desperately need.  And the result?  These heroes are now being forced to work 15-hour shifts, week after week under battlefield conditions.  No wonder they are dropping like flies.  “They shoot horses don’t they?”
     America has no medical reserves right now — only a sorry bunch of creepy useless billionaires.
     But my e-mail friend wasn’t done with me yet.  “Here is a link to the absolute latest information about COVID-19 — and there is no mention of 5G in it anywhere.”
     Hey, so what.  Not my fault that I’m ahead of the curve.  “Keep up.”
PPS:  The current extreme COVID lock-up and economic disaster really is serious.  I recognize this.  Hell, why else would I be planning my own funeral (and also why more people are dying of suicide than of COVID in my area right now).  Does that elite group of fascist ghouls, Dark Overlords and neo-con neo-colonialist Blue Meanies who currently run America really need to be so freaking joyful about dancing on my grave?  And your grave too?

      And if we all just stand around sucking our thumbs and singing Kumbaya while these cruel neo-colonial fascist oligarchs not only convert the whole world into their own personal gulags but also steal all our stuff as well?  Then perhaps we should all be running around wearing tin-foil hats — not just me.
     All in this together?  No.  We’re not.

PPPS:  What if almost everyone in America owned their very own EMF meter, one that actually measured the dangerous effects of 5G?  And that we all went around beeping and flashing together?  Verizon and AT&T would be horrified!  Yay!

Prime suspect: Who replaced our small businesses during the lock-up?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 8:37 pm


“I need a new dress for our virtual prom,” cries your teenager — but the local shopping mall has been completely closed down. It’s been locked down for as long as we have been in lock-up. What to do? Order a prom dress from Amazon!

And suddenly all of America’s shopping is being done online.

And we’ve all seen photos of those dangerous Amazon sweatshop warehouses, right? But it’s the wave of the future. Amazon Prime. Small businesses go under. Big businesses thrive.

How come Amazon is an essential business yet yours is not?

PS: And how come the United States Postal Service is suddenly going bankrupt yet Amazon isn’t? In a word? “Unions.”

PPS: Have you ever considered workers’ cooperatives as an alternative to Corporatism?

PPPS: When I was crossing through the border station last month while coming back from Tijuana, at least a hundred “guest workers” suddenly walked past me while I waited in line. Each man was pulling a small roller-board suitcase. They were all quickly loaded onto buses headed for Los Angeles.

How come “guest workers” are legal in America and yet other Latinx are not? When large corporations are in need of cheap labor, regular rules simply do not apply to them. It’s time that we change all that — or we’ll be in lock-up forever too.



May 14, 2020

NYC, COVID & poverty: No “shelter at home” for the homeless

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 3:42 pm


When my plane landed in New York City recently, I had the entire JFK airport all to myself. Even the TSA security checkpoint was empty except for a few bored employees. Empty. Totally empty. Can you even imagine a TSA line with nobody in it? Totally surreal. But then I saw a few more people on the subway into Manhattan — and then lots of people on 34th Street. People in front of Penn Station. People next to the Empire State Building. People walking past Macy’s.

My mind boggled. Here’s me, with a completely boggled mind. But why was I being so gobsmacked? Definitely not because there were people on the streets of New York City — but rather because of the type of people I saw. All the techies, the yuppies, the rising-star professionals, the upper-class shoppers, New York’s chic urban workforce? They were all gone from the streets completely, disappeared as if by magic.

And all that was left on the streets of New York City were its “dregs”.

And New York City has a hecka lot of “dregs”. America itself has a whole freaking lot of “dregs”.

Thanks to COVID-19, America’s convenient veil of secrecy has been ruthlessly ripped aside and America’s morbid classism has now been cruelly exposed. Tears came to my eyes — and I don’t usually cry.

All those suave New Yorkers with homes to go to and Netflix to watch and popcorn to eat as they sit on their sofas bombarded by TV commercials with violins in the background and soothing voices telling us that “We’re all in this together” and “We’re here to help”?

None of that warm-puppy feeling applies to New York City’s underclasses, America’s underclasses, carefully cultivated since Nixon and Reagan — and now in full bloom right next to Madison Square Garden.

And then I thought of our recent “stimulus package” — $1200 to everyone who has filed an income tax return. $1200 might be a drop in the bucket for some Americans, but to the people actually living on the streets of New York City, $1200 would be a freaking miracle, a wonderful last meal, a comfortable place to finally lay down their heads — like a dead man walking being offered a last meal before midnight.

But none of those who are truly in need will be getting any of America’s bounty. Once again.




May 12, 2020

“Let me out of here!” The day America reached a turning point with COVID

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 12:09 pm


What are your favorite TV shows? Mine are The Rookie, The Connors, Survivor, Roswell, New Mexico (my father was born there), Gray’s Anatomy and All Rise (obviously I’m too cheap to buy cable). These are my guilty pleasures, my relief from the real world. One hour a night I just put my feet up, turn off my brain and get entertained.

But then some melodramatic fool comes on during the commercial break and sobs, “We are all in this together!” again and again and again.


I really didn’t mind being locked up for the first seven weeks. I puttered. I gardened. I ordered stuff online. I even caught up with my FaceBook page. But this morning? Something inside of me just suddenly snapped. I finally reached a point of no return — the point where I’d even rather choose actually dying of COVID and just getting it over with than being constantly locked up here for even one more day, one more hour or even one more freaking second! Arrgh.

And I think that everyone else in America has just reached that same point too.

For the first time since 1776, the words “Give me liberty or give me death” have taken on a very personal meaning for all of us. Let me out of here!

Stop Wall Street and War Street (and Big Pharma) from destroying our world. And while you’re at it, please buy my books.


May 6, 2020

Kinda surreal: My trip to the emergency room yesterday

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 4:48 pm


Have you ever sleepwalked through a dream? One that made little or no sense? Salvador Dali comes to mind, especially that scene with the clock.

10:00 am: I’m feeling sort of fishy. My back hurts a little. I just got back from New York and Los Angeles. Paranoia sets in. Maybe I’ve got COVID?

12:00 noon: I walk over to the emergency room at the local hospital. They’ve moved the intake area outside to a tent. Someone takes my temperature, checks me for weapons and waves me through. I walk over to sit on a folding chair in the hospital’s driveway. Only two other patients are there.

One patient had caught her index finger in a blender while making a smoothie. “You’re probably gonna lose that nail — but it will grow back,” I say. She nods sheepishly.

The other patient has back trouble too. “Have you ever read Revelations?” he asks. “This here is The Rapture.” Then he rambles on and on about his unhappy childhood in some podunk town in the Central Valley, how he drinks four Dr. Peppers each evening and then has trouble sleeping. “But never touch alcohol….” I try to politely change chairs.

1:30 pm: Finally a really nice doctor sees me inside another white tent. “We will need a blood panel and a urine sample. Here, take this cup….”

2:30 pm: I’ve just finished drinking four cups of water, each cup the size of a Starbucks latte grande. Still can’t pee. Back to the folding chair. EMTs bring in an elderly man on a gurney. COVID? I’m afraid to ask.

4:00 pm: This is starting to get annoying. I had thought that I’d just be in and out with a quick diagnosis and some pills — but no. I’m still stuck in the bathroom trying to come up with a urine sample.

5:15 pm: I did it! Two more grande-sized cups of water later, I come up with a few drops. But then I accidentally drop the freaking sample cup into the sink. Crap. Too much performance anxiety.

Now all I want to do is go home, take some vitamin C and call myself in the morning. This has gone on far too long. I’ve been here for over five hours. “Now we are going to have to admit you.” Wha? Nothing’s all that wrong with me — but I’m now the only patient they’ve got. I start thinking about that old U. Utah Phillips song, “They will keep you and they’ll never let you go….”

5:45 pm: Here I am, in a hospital bed, strapped to a machine that measures my oxygen levels. A warning beeper starts going off. Having nothing else to do, I count the beeps (finally giving up after the 948th beep) and go back to reading Lee Goldberg’s latest murder mystery, Killer Thriller. I’ve read 103 pages here so far.

They’ve got me in a hospital gown by now. A really nice nurse comes in, accompanied by a student. “And this is where we draw the blood,” she says, pointing to the vein in my left arm. “Now you try it….”

6:30 pm: Everyone has disappeared. I’ve finally managed to pee into the sample cup but no one seems interested in taking it away to the lab. Haven’t eaten since breakfast.

6:45 pm: Finally another really nice nurse comes in. “I’m hungry,” I say. “What if I starve to death!” I joke.

“It takes four days to starve to death,” she replies. Good to know.

7:00 pm: I’ve finally had enough! Now I’m even starting to worry about catching some iatrogenic disease or even COVID itself and being stuck here forever, perpetually sick. I pull off the wires, get dressed and start to leave. “You can’t do that!” says another nurse. Then she threatens to write the dread “AMA” in my chart! “Leaving against medical advice.”

At this point I start to pass out. Has it been four days yet? They plop me into a wheelchair, put me back into the bed, wire me up again and hand me a stale turkey sandwich. I gulp it down without even washing my hands first.

7:15 pm: Finally the doctor comes in. “Have you seen a lot of COVID patients here,” I ask him out of curiosity.

“Not that many.” He shrugs. And then he finally tells me what is wrong with me. “You have low sodium levels.” Oh. Okay.

7:30 pm: As I leave the hospital ER, I notice that there was another separate indoor waiting room where four or five sad-looking older men sit resignedly. Might this be a specially-designated COVID waiting room? I will never know — because I’m too hungry to stop and find out.

7:55 pm: I stagger into the nearby Whole Foods minutes before it closes, grab the first food I see off the shelf and gulp that down too, ending a very surreal day.

PS: I have a friend who is an ER doctor. “I’m beginning to think that all this COVID thing is just a myth dreamed up so that the Federal Reserve can steal our economy,” I told her this morning. “Just look at me. Since mid-March I’ve been to San Diego, Tijuana, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles (on essential business) and spent seven hours a freaking emergency room — and don’t even have so much as a cough.”

“Oh, no. It’s real,” she replied. “There are doctors and nurses who are dying of COVID.” And I finally believe her because I trust her — even though it’s almost impossible to believe even a single word that the mainstream media tells us (remember Iraq’s phony WMDs, the shockingly spuriously false charges that Syria used chemical weapons, the Gulf of Tonkin fabrications and all those Kuwait incubator baby lies?)

Anyway, here’s my latest theory about COVID-19, combining both personal experience, that chat with my ER doctor friend and the latest scientific data: That there are two different strains of COVID. One is totally deadly, a microbial Freddie Kruger, lurking around to assassinate our doctors, nurses and most vulnerable. And then there are some milder strains of COVID that even Mary Poppins could cure.

Wait, what? New information just came in: According to a German virologist, the more someone is exposed to the virus, the more severe their case. So that might explain why doctors, nurses and rest home residents are getting so sick. Wow. Send them all to the beach, Governor Newsome!

Plus there is also the issue of how best to actually deal with the COVID epidemic. To paraphrase Hamlet, “To lock-down or not to lock-down?” And it’s becoming increasingly clear that America’s “lock ‘em up” attitude is simply bad science.

By locking us up, we are apparently giving the deadly strains more chances to act like Jason in Friday the 13th around our doctors and nurses — while giving the more benign strains less chance to give us herd immunity (and also giving the Federal Reserve mafia even more chances to steal all our money).

Stop Wall Street and War Street (and Big Pharma) from destroying our world. And while you’re at it, please buy my books.



April 30, 2020

COVID-19[84]: I’m putting mainstream media on lock-down

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 2:59 pm


If I have to listen to yet one more vacuous talking head blithely telling me that “we’re all in this together” one more freaking time, I’m gonna just go run screaming through the streets — with or without a face mask.

All in this together? No. We’re not. It’s just you and me under quarantine.

Yesterday someone sent me a link to a video of two ER doctors (Erickson and Massihi) telling us that being in lock-up is one of the worse things we can do to protect ourselves from COVID — and is especially bad for our children. “The longer that we stay in lock-down, the weaker our immune systems get, the more susceptible we get as a result and the more of us will die,” was their basic message.

The video received five million hits — over 200,000 in just one hour. YouTube immediately took it down. Google labeled it “misinformation”.

We are also learning that hospitals get $34,000 more per corpse if said corpse dies of COVID and not just from the flu or cancer or something more mundane. So almost no one gets diagnosed with the flu any more. Suddenly the annual flu season has been magically eradicated completely. “It’s a miracle!” No. It’s not.

But here is the bottom line regarding the current media feeding-frenzy on COVID: One year from now either a bunch of people will have died from the virus — or else they will all be just fine and we will have been played once again (remember Iraq, Vietnam and Libya?) This part is uncertain. It could go either way.

But what is certain for sure is that one year from now our economy will still be in ruins, American oligarchs will be even more super-rich, Big Pharma and the Federal Reserve will own even more of America than they do now, Amazon will have replaced far too many small businesses, our children will be dumber and we will be living in a surveillance state that will make George Orwell seem like some kind of all-seeing prophet.

According to financial expert Ernst Wolff, our economy is currently under a controlled demolition. “There are some big players behind this financial scheme but no one is following the money.” Yikes!

So. A year from now, will we be happily looking back and deciding that all this lock-up and lock-down has been worth it? Definitely not.

And, even worse, I won’t be able to spend Mothers Day at a Giants game or in Las Vegas this year. Hell, I’ll be lucky to get take-out from KFC!

And we will have also regressed from being forced to constantly listen to media propaganda about COVID to being forced to constantly once again listen to media propaganda about “eminent dangers” from Syria and Iran — and how only stealing their oil will make us safe again. “We’re all in this together” they’ll tell us once again. No. We’re not.

PS: In the last two months, I’ve been (on essential business) to a book convention in San Diego, visited two asylum-seekers’ shelters in Tijuana, spent a night at the historic Palace Hotel in San Francisco (with dinner in Chinatown, BTW), walked all over New York City and walked all over downtown Los Angeles — including eating yummy tacos at Juanita’s on Olvera Street and staying at the legendary Biltmore Hotel.

And I don’t even have so much as a cough.

April 24, 2020

Sex, lies & geeks: COVID’s new war on statisticians

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 11:46 am


Sex? “There will now be no reason for abortions,” a friend of mine just said, “because there will no longer be any pregnancies — because everyone will be standing six feet apart!” HaHaHa.

Lies? That we can catch COVID-19 from toilet seats? There are so many lies going around about COVID-19 — but the bottom line that we all need to understand is that this pandemic lock-down isn’t about germs. It’s about property.

To quote James Buchanan, that Nobel laureate godfather of all neo-cons himself, “Each person seeks mastery over a world of slaves.” Basically, Buchanan wanted to juice up a New World Order that would always value property over people and that would make rich people large and in charge.

And then suddenly the COVID pandemic train arrived at the station and every single one of our Dark Overlords happily clamored aboard. “More for us, less for you!” they cried as they gleefully headed toward the dining car. And then under the cleaver disguise of saving our lives, our government constantly reassured us that all the $$$$$ they just gave to Big Oil was not a bailout but rather a “government-issued rescue”. Yeah right. Then why isn’t our government “rescuing” small businesses as well?

But I digress. Let’s get back to telling each other lies. No, that new app on your phone that will let the powers-that-be know where you are every second of your lives is not gonna flatten the curve — it’s going to extend it. Probably for years.

This is where the statisticians and geeks come in. They try really hard to tell us that, yes, COVID-19 is not as deadly as we are being told and, yes, there really is something called herd immunity and, yes, if we all get infected, this whole nightmare will be over within a month instead of within years — and, yes, if we protect our most vulnerable than the death rate will actually go down.–569229971.html

According to one geek I know, even New York City is not all that bad off: = 0.014 = 1.4%. 10,000 Deaths = 0.0013 = 0.13% = 130/100,000. 130 out of every 100,000 New York City residents have died of COVID. That’s hardly even worse than the flu.

But nobody ever listens to or believes statisticians and geeks. Boring! So much more exciting to watch horror stories of COVID on the news every night.

But in some dark cemetery somewhere, James Buchanan is now having the last laugh — on us. “I told them that property was more important than people — and neo-cons everywhere believed me!” gloats his scary ghost. “From Iraq and Syria and Palestine to Main Street USA, we’ve now got it all!” Oh just shut up, Jimmy, and just go back to being dead.

But in a way Buchanan is right. In 2008, they came for our homes. In 2020 they came for our small businesses. What are they going to come for next? Our freaking toaster-ovens, overcoats and toothbrushes?

What to do? Let’s end all this “socialism for the wealthy only” and demand that we all share in the world’s wealth equally — every single one of us. Our leaders definitely do not care about protecting the vulnerable. They are far more interested in re-opening their salons and spas. But we need to care. “The least of us….” Sound familiar?

PS: Speaking of ghosts, I’m going to go to Los Angeles in a few days and stay at the legendary Biltmore Hotel. Am hoping to run into the ghost of Katherine Hepburn or JFK’s ghost — but will even settle for the ghost of Al Capone.


April 17, 2020

Madam Jane Predicts: The exact date that our lock-down will end

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 9:57 am


Someone just banged on my front door. “Go away. I’m sheltering in place!” I yelled — but Madam Jane wasn’t buying it. Not at all.

“I can see the future,” she yelled back. “I see that you are safe from COVID-19. You’re good. Now open the damn door.” What else could I do? Madam Jane is scary, far more scary than just a mere virus. I opened the door.

“Let’s get right to the point,” said M.J. “I have just predicted the very exact date when all this COVID-19 lock-down will finally end.” Now she had my total attention. “You realize of course that the Federal Reserve has been giving away one trillion dollars a day to Big Business in the last few weeks, right? And also giving Big Business billions of dollars a day for months before that?” No, I hadn’t heard.

“And yet the Fed’s payments to small businesses have totally run out after only 13 days. Something is fishy here — and I’m about to tell you what.” So much for my nice leisurely morning of sheltering in place.

“Large corporations have taken over our American democracy. You don’t need a crystal ball to see that.” Yeah, sure, what else is new — but what does this have to do with the date we get to end the lock-down? “Before I tell you my prediction, first you gotta understand that there is only so far that Big Business can go before it kills the goose that lays its golden eggs. And that would be us.”

Yeah yeah yeah, I’m also aware that we’ve been goosed by the military-industrial complex for decades now. Get on with predicting the date.

“That’s easy,” replied Madam Jane. “When almost all competition from America’s small businesses has been taken out of commission by the lock-down and Big Box stores reign supreme? When most of us are bankrupt, desperate and so unemployed that we’ll eagerly slave away 12 hours a day for peanuts — but are not quite yet zombies? When the Fed finally calculates that the Golden Goose is now on life support and there is not even one drop of money to be squeezed out of us? That will be the exact date when the lock-down will end.”

“Then we should just forget about flattening the curve?” I asked incredulously. “Just forget about a vaccine? A cure? All those freaking ventilators? Social distancing? That this virus might be a truly deadly disease for people with serious preexisting conditions? None of that will factor in? Not even at all?”

“Yep. That’s the plan. It’s all about tweaking up the New World Order — at our expense. And it has been that way from the start of this pandemic. Get us all afraid, broadcast the danger on TV night and day, keep us all isolated? Distract us and then rob us blind.”

Okay. I’ll shut up now. Why? Because nobody in their right mind ever argues with Madam Jane, especially not me. But still…. She actually just might be right.


April 10, 2020

COVID-19: Killer plague or not? Either way we’re screwed

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 11:52 am


Here in America, we all die eventually. That’s what we do. And we’ve been doing this steadily since 1776. We don’t “pass away”. We don’t “cross over”. We die. It’s called the freaking circle of life, Simba.

But just exactly how deadly is COVID-19? Actually? We may never know — for two reasons. First, doctors are currently being instructed to attribute almost every new death in America to COVID. A lot of people die in America — every single day. “But let’s blame it all on COVID anyway!” Done.–569489461.html

Second, the tests for COVID-19 are flawed up the ying-yang. That tiger in the Bronx Zoo probably doesn’t have COVID after all.

But suppose, let’s just suppose, that COVID-19 actually is the most deadly disease pandemic in history ev-ah, worse than smallpox, polio and the Black Plague combined. Then what? Those of us who actually do survive all this nightmare are still gonna be screwed.

Our economy is now in Schitt’s Creek.

Our government has gone all 1984 on us.

We are going to be helpless as babes in the woods when our usual river of goods and services suddenly runs dry.

Who the freak knows how to manufacture toilet paper — let alone how to grow a potato or stop a tank? Or prevent ourselves from being herded like cattle into some B-movie version of Brave New World or The Time Machine.

But all this is irrelevant, definitely not the most important thing about COVID-19[84]. “So what is the most important thing about it?” you might ask. It definitely isn’t whether or not we are going to die from a germ or live in a tanked economy — but rather what we are going to do with the ashes of our society after it’s all been burned down.

All this random destruction of everything we now know is also offering us a unique chance as well — a chance to form a new society based on kindness instead of on greed, anxiety, narcissism, propaganda, secrecy, fraud, fear and “war”. The future after COVID-19[84] is not about whether or not we die from it. Everyone eventually dies. It’s all about how we will live — after this mess is finally over.

And that if we want to build a new, better and viable society out of the ashes of our current dysfunctional oligarchy, then “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” is always a good start.

And if our leaders don’t follow our lead on this one, then screw them too! We can always put them in lock-down instead of us.




April 3, 2020

COVID: Invasion of the Wealth-Snatchers

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 5:56 pm


Hold on to your piggy banks, guys! Financial vampires are coming to steal them as well.

First they came for our nest eggs. Then they came for our home equity. Now they are coming for that spare change on top of our dressers.

Be very afraid.

First they told us to be afraid of terrorists. Then they told us to be afraid of immigrants. Now they are telling us to be afraid of germs? But no one told us to be afraid of the deadly Wealth-Snatchers. As Washington privatized pandemic preparation, the national security state left Americans defenseless against coronavirus

And while our attention is riveted on COVID, they are stealing our wealth from behind our backs — even down to that last penny jar in the closet.

We are at the tail end of the greatest wealth transfer in history right now — and none of that wealth is coming our way.

Sorry about that.

But at least we can yell “F*ck you!” to the burglars on their way out the door with our wallets.

March 31, 2020

Guilty pleasure: Having the streets of San Francisco all to myself

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 3:08 pm


I’m one of those people who prefer to see facts on the ground rather than get swept away by all the stuff that I’m told on TV. Hell, I didn’t even believe that Saddam Hussein had WMDs or that the war on Vietnam was justified — or that the current “war” on Syria is justified either. Call me crazy.

“Jane, you’re just one of those misinformed COVID deniers,” someone told me on FB today. “You’re just like all those ignorant climate-crisis deniers.” Yeah, right. Me and a Swiss doctor and a Stanford scientist and…. The list of experts goes on and on. So at least I’m not alone in my foolishness.

[Stanford doctor]


[Independent journalist]

[Swiss Doctor with daily updates]

[12 Experts on COVID]

But I digress.

My main point here is that when I went over to San Francisco today, all I could see from the windows of the #30 bus were miles and miles of small businesses shut down, sad people without jobs — and general despair.

At the famous Palace hotel, I did the math. “We used to have 300 to 500 people employed here,” said the last remaining lonely concierge. “Now we have only ten employees — and even fewer guests. Only two people checked in today.” And there before my very eyes was the beautiful and legendary Garden Court, totally empty, like some haunted ghost.

“We will be closing down the hotel in a couple of days,” said the sad-eyed concierge. Who knows when it will ever open again.

My bus driver was also in despair too. “Most of my friends are out of work right now. They have no idea how they’re going to pay their rent.” Even the historic City Lights bookstore in North Beach was closed. And Glide Memorial Church in the Tenderloin was closed too. And I also stood in the middle of Market Street to take a photo, totally unafraid of getting hit by a car. Chinatown? Same sad story. Sigh.

Thousands of people risk death from rising sea levels these days. Thousands more are killed by tsunamis and hurricanes and tornadoes. Millions die from having the USA invade their countries. Millions more die from the freaking flu. And yet somehow Americans have all suddenly become fixated on destroying our economy over a slightly stronger version of the common cold? Makes no sense to me. Call me crazy.

But as a result of this shut-down, millions more here in America will also die from bankruptcy, poverty, food riots, suicide and despair either before this poorly-thought-out COVID quarantine is over — or afterwards. For decades afterwards perhaps.

So. Am I crazy — or not? Only time will tell. In a few years we may look back on this COVID event with the same distanced humor that we look back on the famous Holland tulip mania of 1637. Or else that this fiasco was the greatest April Fool joke of all time!

But in the meantime, I totally enjoy having the entire City of San Francisco all to myself.

PS: What else can we do to resolve this dilemma? Have we destroyed the economy for nothing — or am I (and a whole bunch of medical geeks) on the wrong track? Easy-peasy to find out. Let’s demand transparency. Get everyone tested. Analyze the results. Either our lives are in grave danger — or they are not. It’s not rocket science, guys.

Power in numbers. If enough of us demand the facts? They can’t shut us all up! Or can they….





The Forgotten: My trip to an asylum-seekers’ shelter in Tijuana

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jane Stillwater @ 3:03 pm


The other day, my friend Ana and I hopped aboard the San Diego Trolley to San Ysidro and then walked across the border to Mexico. Nothing could be more simple.

On the other side of the border, we found lots of taxi drivers. Ana knows Spanish. She bartered. “¿Cúantos para rentar un taxi todo al día hoy?” she said. How much will it cost to rent your taxi for a day?

“$100,” yelled a stranger driving a red Nissan. “I don’t trust him,” said Ana. “I do,” said me. “$75,” said Ana, “but we’re not buying you lunch.” Deal.

Alvaro drove us to our first asylum-seeker’s shelter, run by a non-profit group called Pro. Libertad y Derechos Humanos en America,

First we talked with a man from Honduras. “I fled for the same reasons as most of the men here,” he told us. “Gang violence, corrupt government, fear for my life. If I ever go back there again, they will murder me. Tingo mucho miedo.” He has much fear. I didn’t bother to tell him that I myself have given up fear for Lent.

“We do the best that we can to be helpful,” said the shelter’s director, a kind and compassionate woman who has dedicated her entire adult life to helping those who have far less than she does. “We used to have over 150 men here in response to the United States’ recent ‘Remain in Mexico’ program — mostly refugees escaping from gangs and government thugs in Central America. Now, however, we have far less.”

Hmmm. I wonder what became of those missing men. Rumor on the border has it that the U.S. has been paying to have them shipped off to Guatemala like so many packages stamped “Return to Sender”.

Once in Guatemala, however, these asylum-seekers are screwed. The only option they have left there is death — the ultimate asylum.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, we are all busy worrying about perhaps dying of the coronavirus (or perhaps running out of toilet paper). But our chances of dying from COVID-19 are around 3% at most — and even then you most likely gotta be old, obese, a smoker or in bad health in order to actually kick the bucket.

But in the many asylum-seekers’ shelters and camps on either side of the US-Mexico border, your chances of death are much higher — especially if you are a child in a cage. Asylum-seekers here are constantly playing peekaboo with death.

But this ultimate tragedy no longer matters to those of us north of the border. The American spotlight, the American news cycle has moved on. The men that we talked to in Tijuana, collateral damage from America’s brutally flawed foreign policy in Central America and the gangs that are left in its wake, are forever stuck here to die alone and afraid in TJ — and they have all been forgotten.

PS: In my next article, I’ll try to describe my visit to a women’s asilo-buscando shelter, followed by the total incongruity of sipping margaritas on a lovely Tijuana beach — right next to Trump’s ugly Wall.

PPS: On a happier note, at lunchtime our taxi driver took us to his favorite place in Tijuana for tacos, tamales and barbacoa. The real deal. I even bought extra tamales, smuggled them back across the border and had them for dinner that night at my San Diego AirBnB.

PPPS:  If everyone wore face masks for three weeks, the COVID problem would be solved, right?  Boom.  End of pandemic.  And we can make instant face masks ourselves with just a bandana and two rubber bands.  Don’t have to be a narcissistic blowhard to figure this one out.  Just watch the freaking video:






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